On Women As People and How To Get Their Attention

[skyfire_freckles]

I am a female gamer. What have I always wanted from a man? I've always known I'd marry a gamer, that's for sure. I play single player games while my husband gets drunk and watches. And vice versa. But it took me a long time and several boyfriends before I figured out what I wanted. I don't think all women want the same specific things, but really, a man who shares her interests and treats her well is broad enough to be true, I suppose.

 

[RyoyoBelmont]

More or less. I would say Charisma is what gets it done. If a guy can be decently charismatic he shouldn't have many problems. Being at least a little pretty helps though.

Unfortunately, charisma seems to be a little rare these days.

 

[whaleswiththumbs]

I was actually reading through them (joined shortly after), and I found it really interesting how so many men can wonder about the conundrum of our existence.

Very puzzling indeed....

Maybe it's to let us live better, and not be gay...

 

[ryuutchi]

I was actually reading through them (joined shortly after), and I found it really interesting how so many men can wonder about the conundrum of our existence.

Very puzzling indeed....

Maybe it's to let us live better, and not be gay...

It's not our job to improve your quality of life or to bolster your heterosexuality.

 

[Simriel]

More or less. I would say Charisma is what gets it done. If a guy can be decently charismatic he shouldn't have many problems. Being at least a little pretty helps though.

Unfortunately, charisma seems to be a little rare these days.

Oh sorry. I stole it all. Hey wasup? *Fonze pose*

 

[Enfid]

Men and women are the same when it comes to the most important thing they are looking for. That is a presentable physical appearance. If you disgust a woman physically, you have absolute zero chances with her, not even if you have 2 Nobel prizes and an IQ of 300. She might be very excited to hear what you have to say on certain things, but that's all. The end. Period. If you look horrible but you can improve it, try to. Consciously. If there's nothing you can do about it, you're basically screwed and need to realize it as soon as possible and look for other things in life that you find fulfilling and channel your energy elsewhere. Preferably on something creative or something you are talented at. Know that you will be sexually alone, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a bunch of great friends or that you are worthless. You are just a victim of the leftover of natural selection that favors the more virile looking, because back then people had to hunt, kill and eat stuff or die. But in the end, that can prove to be not such a bad thing, because the highest forms of art and creativity are fueled by the creator's own personal misery.

Sorry for the shot of reality.

I thought most women are more impressed with your personality? I agree with the later parts though. Just because you're single doesn't make you a freak or an outcast.

As to the main topic, a person is never wrong. If something happens that he/she doesn't like, it's never about them or their fault. It's always others' fault. The fact that the girl doesn't like you has nothing to do with you acting creepy and passive aggressive and still somehow hope that you'll get in bed with her that night while somehow convincing yourself that you're the nicest person on Earth. It's because she's stupid and ALL GIRLS WANTS BAD BOYS.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Men and women are the same when it comes to the most important thing they are looking for. That is a presentable physical appearance. If you disgust a woman physically, you have absolute zero chances with her, not even if you have 2 Nobel prizes and an IQ of 300. She might be very excited to hear what you have to say on certain things, but that's all. The end. Period. If you look horrible but you can improve it, try to. Consciously. If there's nothing you can do about it, you're basically screwed and need to realize it as soon as possible and look for other things in life that you find fulfilling and channel your energy elsewhere. Preferably on something creative or something you are talented at. Know that you will be sexually alone, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a bunch of great friends or that you are worthless. You are just a victim of the leftover of natural selection that favors the more virile looking, because back then people had to hunt, kill and eat stuff or die. But in the end, that can prove to be not such a bad thing, because the highest forms of art and creativity are fueled by the creator's own personal misery.

Bullshit. There are plenty of physically attractive women who I have no romantic interest in. None. I also know people who are ugly, and in relationships (no offense, if you're reading this). Intelligence is somewhat important - you do want to be with someone who's roughly as smart as you (I don't think math smarts would count though).

If you're ugly and you're just looking for sex - you might have trouble. You might also have some trouble getting in a relationship. (I've known a really ugly "couple" who where friends with benefits - and both had fairly rotten personalities, so go figure.) But the important thing isn't your looks - it's you. The type of person you are is going to be what draws other people to you, over other attractive people. If your significant other doesn't care about who you are - save yourself the trouble and leave.

The you isn't defined by the body, but the mind.

 

[Plauged1]

Would you prefer it if we thought that women were incredibly simple and easy to understand? I dunno, I just always figured that women would take it as a sort of compliment. Guess I was partly wrong.

What they said. We could seem like know it all assholes, or be honest and state how confused we are about human beings.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Men and women are the same when it comes to the most important thing they are looking for. That is a presentable physical appearance. If you disgust a woman physically, you have absolute zero chances with her, not even if you have 2 Nobel prizes and an IQ of 300. She might be very excited to hear what you have to say on certain things, but that's all. The end. Period. If you look horrible but you can improve it, try to. Consciously. If there's nothing you can do about it, you're basically screwed and need to realize it as soon as possible and look for other things in life that you find fulfilling and channel your energy elsewhere. Preferably on something creative or something you are talented at. Know that you will be sexually alone, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a bunch of great friends or that you are worthless. You are just a victim of the leftover of natural selection that favors the more virile looking, because back then people had to hunt, kill and eat stuff or die. But in the end, that can prove to be not such a bad thing, because the highest forms of art and creativity are fueled by the creator's own personal misery.

Sweetie, your problem isn't how you look, it's the fact that you're the kind of person who posts things like this. Relationships come down to so many factors and nuances that the only thing that relates any two couples is the phrase 'weird as batshit'. Looks are aren't a score, percentage or rank, they're personal for both prospective partner and viewer and in some cases don't matter a damn. Blind people get it on, often with the same kinds of people that sighted people do (not jerks).

There are some hard and fast rules, however. One is that if looking bad is a result of bad hygeine or just plain laziness, it's the stinking and being a slothful ass that's the turn-off. The second is that attitude is almost always a factor, and ones like this don't sell you all that flatteringly.

I'm only saying this because these points and philosophies are actually a very, very common trend among males struggling in relationships (whether or not you are part of this demographic). The popular 'matyr' ideals (and that's what they are, noble sacrifice/endurance of a curse or fate) come up in easter cultures, mostly, it's half the reason suicide bombers are almost always virgins. It's your choice, of course, but if you convince yourself that it's what you want then don't be suprised when you get it.

Aiming low and hitting your target is still landing very low, except you can only blame yourself. Don't convince yourself your destined to be as you are forever, because nobody (including you) is impressed when it comes true.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

There are some hard and fast rules, however. One is that if looking bad is a result of bad hygeine or just plain laziness, it's the stinking and being a slothful ass that's the turn-off. The second is that attitude is almost always a factor, and ones like this don't sell you all that flatteringly.

Yes. I can't possibly agree with you more.

Also, being healthy is attractive - and you'll feel better if you're healthier too. So, if you can do what you need to, to be healthy, it's a net benefit.

 

[VitalSigns]

These kids are looking for an excuse for there issues with girls. Their introverted and creepily passive aggresive, but whatever its confident guys faults that girls aren't interested in them. Not theirs. Idiots. If girls don't like you it's no ones fault but your own.

Someone has a lot of pent up frustration. I am introverted but I am not creepy. I am passive, I see fighting as a last resort instead of a first resort.

Most women I encounter are either very shallow or very superficial. I would rather stay single than date a shallow or superficial woman. My preferences.

actually I have zero pent up aggression fighting is a last resort for me as well(there is a difference between being passive aggressive and going around beating everyone up). and If most of the girls you've dated are shallow and superficial I feel very bad for you. My fiancee is gorgeous and amazingly down to earth. a lot of the girls I've dated have been beautiful and nice too. did you consider maybe i'm not talking about you specifically. and if you read my post later on in this thread you would see a much more thought out idea of what i'm trying to say.

For someone who is introverted you sure are casting stones quickly.

 

[Mykonos]

Don't mind me. I'm just here to see if a Mod comes in and finds something wrong. These topics are always so risky!

 

[HentMas]

well, i have never had trouble asking myself "what women want" because the answer to like 90% of the women i have ever being interested was "not me"

yeah, i am that guy that asked every single female if she would go out with him, well, here in mexico we actually ask if she would be my girlfriend but the issue is the same, of literally hundreds of girls that i asked to be my girlfriends only a bunch of them where, and after some time they would go and leave, why? well, i was not what they were looking for or i would leave them because they were not what i was looking for

simple statistics of said number of females out there there will always be a percentage that would accept me, and of THAT percentage there will be another portion that will not like me, and a second portion that i wont like, also in the rest of them well, issues with home-family-school-friends would end our relationship leaving me with the one and only that actually cared enough about me to continue our relationship, same person that i cared enough to continue

love kid mariage

yeah... thats how i met my girl

 

[RyoyoBelmont]

More or less. I would say Charisma is what gets it done. If a guy can be decently charismatic he shouldn't have many problems. Being at least a little pretty helps though.

Unfortunately, charisma seems to be a little rare these days.

Oh sorry. I stole it all. Hey wasup? *Fonze pose*

xDD Haha!
At least someone's got moxie.

 

[Snugglebunny]

If your looking for a girl to be your girlfriend, this is my advice (as a girl)

-Be their friend first: understand them and get to know them and vice versa. Sure all the girls go "omg nice azz like whut?" but deep down, we all want a guy that we trust and know is not a psychopath before giving their heart to them.

-Don't be the bad boy: The appeal lasts for effectively 4 days (I have seen it, its always 4 days) then you're just a jerk that her mom hates.

-Don't be the brother: Don't get too comfortable around them, and LET THEM KNOW YOUR INTERESTED. Women are not mind readers, shocker tho right?

-Be smart: Morons go nowhere.

-Have good hygiene: You don't have to be an underwear model, just smell okay and look neat and girls love it. Not too hard.

-Be honest: if you want to date, mention it but don't force it. If you don't want to date, then say so. Again, not too hard.

-Be nice: Its HARD to be a woman: you have to be tough, but not a she-man. You have to be gentle, but not a push over. You have to be pretty, but not conceited. You have to be smart, but not intimidating. So just know that.

-Don't be a sex maniac: Guys who go for girls just to get in their pants deserve neither! (IF that makes sense...) Respect girls!

 

[Mikelland]

If your looking for a girl to be your girlfriend, this is my advice (as a girl)

-Be their friend first: understand them and get to know them and vice versa. Sure all the girls go "omg nice azz like whut?" but deep down, we all want a guy that we trust and know is not a psychopath before giving their heart to them.

-Don't be the bad boy: The appeal lasts for effectively 4 days (I have seen it, its always 4 days) then you're just a jerk that her mom hates.

-Don't be the brother: Don't get too comfortable around them, and LET THEM KNOW YOUR INTERESTED. Women are not mind readers, shocker tho right?

-Be smart: Morons go nowhere.

-Have good hygiene: You don't have to be an underwear model, just smell okay and look neat and girls love it. Not too hard.

-Be honest: if you want to date, mention it but don't force it. If you don't want to date, then say so. Again, not too hard.

-Be nice: Its HARD to be a woman: you have to be tough, but not a she-man. You have to be gentle, but not a push over. You have to be pretty, but not conceited. You have to be smart, but not intimidating. So just know that.

-Don't be a sex maniac: Guys who go for girls just to get in their pants deserve neither! (IF that makes sense...) Respect girls!

About the being honest bit. Seems to me that if come out and say that you would be interested in dating a female friend of yours, even if you don't "force" it that just knowing you're interested in her will force her to see you differently. Which is probably more likely to scare or push her away than to help you progress a relationship.

For the record its not easy being a man either. The definition has shifted somewhat in the last few decades. We have to masculine yet sensitive, confident but not arrogant, masculine yet not overbearing, mature yet willing to act childish occassionally, protective yet not make it seem like we don't think she can stick up for herself, take charge but still let her make decisions. Theres so much confliction in modern culture as to what a man should be. I'm 20 years old and I have really no idea how i'm supposed to act or anything like that.

Going back to an earlier topic about generalising women to disguise you're own ineptitude wit them. I would like to say, for the record, that I don't do this. I know i'm useless with women. Going up and talking to one who looks nice seems like a gross invasion of privacy to me. Whether its at a theatre, a bar , a club or anywhere really. What it all boils down to, for me, is this. I am not good looking enough to attract a woman solely based on physical appearance, neither do I have the charm or wit to supplement what little physical attraction I do possess. Coupled with a mild Aspergers syndrome that makes me feel rediculously awkward or out of place and a mind that forces me to analyse most things until it finds a conclusion negative enough to satisfy it, the masochistic mess that it is. If you add the fact that , being a dancer, i am never going to earn a large amount of money and , unless i get very very lucky, will have to work incredibly hard all my life just to make ends meet. The conclusion is that i'm going to alone forever.

I'm working on accepting this and trying to find a way to kill the part of me that holds sexual attraction. Life would be so much better if I was asexual. Oh well. A man can dream, a man can dream......

 

[vampirekid.13]

To be honest, I'm a little frustrated with the "what do women want" threads. Women are a varied and diverse group of people, same as men. I mean, not all of your male friends want the same thing out of a relationship, right? (Unless you live in a Judd Apatow movie and all you care about is getting laid regularly)

So why on earth do a significant number of men on the forum constantly act as though there is one Woman, who is mysterious, ever-changing, and weirder than an alien?

It's sort of like-- do you expect every gamer to want the same sort of game? Do you think that there is one platonic ideal of The Gamer and get annoyed that real gamers have a bunch of different opinions?

all men want is a good looking female that can cook and will watch the game with them.


yes, thats for every man out there.