One of my best friend just stopped talking to me because he found out i was gay, please give me some advice, what should i try to do in order for me to get him back? i don't wanna lose him. I knew him since sixth grade, that was about 4 years ago and yes i tried hitting on him... think thats why he was shocked.
One of my best friend left me! please help!
- Thread starter laughinggod
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Seriously dude if he doesn't want to be your friend just because he found out you were gay then he is an asshole who doesn't deserve your friendship. Find someone who won't abandon you because of your sexual preference.
He's a homophobe, one of the most stubborn types of people on this earth.
He's not worth keeping as a friend.
He's not worth keeping as a friend.
If he was truly your friend he'll get over this. People sometimes think that coming out or whatever is such a little thing and people should just deal with it.. well its never that easy. Think of the way most of us are raised to think its bad.. It isnt but it still has a way to come to fit into the mores of society. So give him time to come to terms with it.. Just like you had to =P And maybe it will all work out!laughinggod said:
That kind of "friend" wasn't really your friend in the first place. Real friends will accept you for who you are. Let him go, he's doing you a favour by alerting to you the fact that he's a douchebag. Better that you find out this way than some other, nastier way down the track.laughinggod said:
Now I'm not saying I support homophobia, but I suspect that some people are jumping to conclusions.
Judging from the phrasing, while it is entirely possible that this "friend" is homophobic, there is also the possibility that he found out about the OP being gay by accident instead of being told, felt that he didn't get the trust he deserved, and is now shunning the guy because he felt that as a friend, he has been mistreated.
Yes, it is a very juvenile response, but it is entirely possible. He might be homophobic, or he might just be upset that his friend didn't trust him enough to tell him he's gay.
Judging from the phrasing, while it is entirely possible that this "friend" is homophobic, there is also the possibility that he found out about the OP being gay by accident instead of being told, felt that he didn't get the trust he deserved, and is now shunning the guy because he felt that as a friend, he has been mistreated.
Yes, it is a very juvenile response, but it is entirely possible. He might be homophobic, or he might just be upset that his friend didn't trust him enough to tell him he's gay.
Get a new mate. If he's that homophobic then you should just be telling him to fuck off, he's not a real friend.
The irony is that he's probably uncomfortable or unsure of his own sexuality. You might see him in a gay nightclub in a few years (if you're into that scene).
The irony is that he's probably uncomfortable or unsure of his own sexuality. You might see him in a gay nightclub in a few years (if you're into that scene).
Coming out is a big deal though, especially because of the possibility of being gay-bashed and so forth. Where I live plenty of people have been killed for being gay. It's not impossible I guess, but I reckon for a friend to be upset simply because of a "trust" issue would be shockingly naive of him.Hubilub said:
There are people that react like that though.BonsaiK said:
One of my friends wouldn't talk to me for an entire day because I didn't join him in drawing a moustache on my face at Halloween.
I guess the situation is a bit blurry until the OP can shed some more light on it.
Why is everyone calling him a homophobe?
Chances are nobody here would know how to react, if their best friend suddenly turned gay over night(I know that's not what happens, but as one doesn't know anything until one day, that's what really transpires) let alone if we weren't told.
Think of all the showers(gym class/football/whatever) you had with the guy. Think of all the times you gave him a hug. Sure, not all gay men are attracted to all straight men, but the mind ponders - and realizing that your lifelong friend is gay and has been all the time, is a frightening thought.
Show some fucking respect for this guy, instead of condemning him without knowing any kind of circumstance. The OP is particularly vague in this post, and maybe we need more information to decide, if we should even decide on anything.
Everyone is different. Stop being assholes to people who aren't as "open-minded" as yourself. It's really getting old.
Chances are nobody here would know how to react, if their best friend suddenly turned gay over night(I know that's not what happens, but as one doesn't know anything until one day, that's what really transpires) let alone if we weren't told.
Think of all the showers(gym class/football/whatever) you had with the guy. Think of all the times you gave him a hug. Sure, not all gay men are attracted to all straight men, but the mind ponders - and realizing that your lifelong friend is gay and has been all the time, is a frightening thought.
Show some fucking respect for this guy, instead of condemning him without knowing any kind of circumstance. The OP is particularly vague in this post, and maybe we need more information to decide, if we should even decide on anything.
Everyone is different. Stop being assholes to people who aren't as "open-minded" as yourself. It's really getting old.
We can only hope that he stopped speaking to you because he was secretly overcome with emotion over your revelation, allowing him to finally confess that he's had a secret crush on you for a long time.
Reminded me of this article:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/repeal-of-dont-ask-dont-tell-paves-way-for-gay-sex,17698/
Reminded me of this article:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/repeal-of-dont-ask-dont-tell-paves-way-for-gay-sex,17698/
Have you tried not being gay..? Ok i'm not serious.. He was probably just really surprised. He'll get over it. It's not as if youre a different person now, and he'll realize that. If not then find someone who is your friend for your personality, and doesn't judge you on your sexual preference.
If your friend is more important, consider not being gay. If your self identity is more important consider losing that friend. It's that simply really.
The dilemma right now is how to keep your friend at the same type keep being gay I assume. But you need to always consider the possibility that you have to choose one over the other, and sometime that's the only possibility. Might as well just make the decision right now than later.
The dilemma right now is how to keep your friend at the same type keep being gay I assume. But you need to always consider the possibility that you have to choose one over the other, and sometime that's the only possibility. Might as well just make the decision right now than later.