One of my best friend left me! please help!

[Kurokami]

Beat the living shit out of him. If he won't talk to you because hes homophobic, show him what it is to be truly afraid of you.

Ignorant bastard.

Really?

I... wha... what is this I don't even...

The amount of 'liberals' on this site who actively advocate violence over other peoples perspectives (yet are probably the same people demanding freedom of speech whenever they want a soup box) simply astonishes me.

Your post doesn't even make sense.

Someone have a prejudice about you? Prove their prejudice correct. That oughta show them. I don't see why this isn't a bannable post. I will contact a mod.

How is it bannable? I'm not really serious to be honest, I just HATE homophobic people who think gays or muslims are evil just because they're not normal. They deserve to get a good hammering.

Well its up to the mods now. You'll probably get by without any moderation because its not racist or sexist. They don't seem to care when a possible 'real' crime is committed. Honestly mate, the only people who deserve to get bashed are those who go around telling people to bash eachother (or actually bashing people).

Sorry friend, but some people need a good ass kicking. A lot of people, in fact.

That guy didn't deserve to get reported.

Being reported isn't a bad thing, it just makes the mods review it. If he recieves no punishment, no harm no foul. If he does, then its lucky I did.

He was advocating violence which is a crime (I believe).

No, no-one deserves an arse kicking. People deserve to be educated and to become better people. I don't know anyone who's rethought their attitudes/beliefs because someone with opposing beliefs attacks them.

Sorry, but while I perfectly respect your opinion and wish it were true, no... Some people have to learn by punishment, some people are so ignorant that the only way to make sure they don't bother anyone else is to take their toys away and show them its not okay to go hitting others. A punishment for ignorance is in my opinion perfectly fine, don't get me wrong in this case its by no means called for, and you're absolutely right that some people can and should simply be educated, but thinking that all people can be is in itself, to me anyway, naive. Then again perhaps I'm simply impatient and somewhat angry having been hated for no good reasons, but how would you go about teaching someone who's blind and deaf and often even wielding violence themselves?

 

[Kurokami]

Sorry, but while I perfectly respect your opinion and wish it were true, no... Some people have to learn by punishment, some people are so ignorant that the only way to make sure they don't bother anyone else is to take their toys away and show them its not okay to go hitting others. A punishment for ignorance is in my opinion perfectly fine, don't get me wrong in this case its by no means called for, and you're absolutely right that some people can and should simply be educated, but thinking that all people can be is in itself, to me anyway, naive. Then again perhaps I'm simply impatient and somewhat angry having been hated for no good reasons, but how would you go about teaching someone who's blind and deaf and often even wielding violence themselves?

What exactly is he learning here? That he should accept all people? Its you who's living in a perfect world.

Teaching someone who's blind and deaf? Man this argument comes up a fair bit. Just because someone holds a prejudicial view does not make them a bigot. I used to be a racist, I am no longer.

By your standards I should have been bashed because 'obviously it safe to assume' my views could not be changed.

Don't know what you were like, but I guess you were changeable. And please, PLEASE don't make bigots out to be victims. All I mean to go and say is that if anyone should be bashed, its them, that's not to say I'm gonna go out with a banner and round em up to shoot, I just mean if they're out there looking for violence, I would be happy if they found it in kind as opposed to some poor soul wondering about who fits their misperceived notion of evil.

I really don't see how that's in anyway unfair, or unjust, its not hypocritical either, unless of course you turn around real quick and close one eye before you look at it.

 

[Kurokami]

I'm not being clear.

I dislike bigots. Bigot=/=ignorant. Just because someone has a non-liberal/uneducated view does not mean that they are a bigot.

Alright, well in that case I'm by no means disagreeing with you.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

[EchetusXe]

Either let him come to you and apologize or forget about him. I'm 20 and I change best friends about once every two years, there just comes a point where you know all about a person and you lose interest in them. Get new friends.

 

[Dys]

You tried hitting on him and you wonder why he doesn't want to talk about you....Maybe if you didn't let your dick control your actions you'd still have a friend....

It's gunna take a lot of convincing for him to trust that you want friendship and not romantic relationship. Other than being patient, there's not really any advice anyone can give.

 

[zatzie zombie num666]

and yes i tried hitting on him... think thats why he was shocked.

or maby he got a bit freaked geez why is everyone saying he is a asshole and all this if my best freind started hiting on me id freak right the fuck out and also the trust thing everyone els alredy explaind

 

[Swny Nerdgasm]

What you should do, since he is a crappy homophobe is flirt with him shamelessly, unless you think he'll attempt to kick your ass.

and hey for honesty's sake I actually have nothing against gays, but for some reason I find my self slighty uncomfortable around the extremely flamboyant ones, I have a friend who i hang out with quite often who is openly gay, but he doesn't go around broadcasting it, you ask him he'll tell you the truth, thats it. The ones who scream out "We're here and we're queer!!" just for some reason set me off a bit

 

[zatzie zombie num666]

This, perfect response to this thread. 'cept I would say give the friend some time, I'm sure he is a decent person and will come round eventually.

Thank the fuck Christ I'm not the only one annoyed at the increasing feel-good bigotry on display in this thread, and on this forum. Sorry for maybe driving this a little off-topic, but I'm really getting pissed at all these fucking "open-minded" asshole constantly bashing everyone who isn't like them.

While this flame isn't directed at anyone in particular(There are also too many offenders to list) I'm certain these people are sad fucking individuals for such an incredible display of hypocrisy.

"NOT A REAL FRIEND BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU BECAUSE OF SEXUALITY, OMG! TELL HIM HE IS A PRICK!!!"

Oh my fucking God. What the hell!?

Everyone here is so stuck up being the best they can be. Such damn snobbery. Such damn bigotry. Everyone who doesn't fit the "open-minded nerdfreak" criteria is automatically devalued and is reminded in several posts that they should reevaluate their existence.

I once wrote in a "What is your stance on metrosexuals?" that I thought they looked gay. I never stated they were gay. I never say I didn't like gays. I never did anything except answer the question.
Do you have any idea how much I was flamed? This forum is turning really bad. Everyone is jumping the feel-good bandwagon.

Such an easy answer: "He is not a good friend"
Somebody offers you drugs. "He offered you drugs!? You should either call the police or simply just break all contact with him at once"
Somebody calls another person a paki in a heated discussion or fight. "Omg racist. Not a good friend"
Somebody smokes marijuana. "LOl marijuanana++?A lLOol Nice" or "Uhh... Get out of there, fast"
Somebody drinks alcohol at a party and gets really, really wasted to the point of throwing up several times. "You probably shouldn't associate with such people. They're fun but not really friends, get what I'm saying?"
Someone has their own opinions on matters(Political/Sexuality/Gay-Marriage/Whatever) that differ from your own. "Uhhh... You're against gay marriage? You're a bigot asshole bitchfaggot and should be shot"

FUCK ME THIS IS GETTING TIRING.

It extends past this, to the point where I can barely criticise a game or a review without being told:
"Hey man, if you don't like it don't play it"

the whole world is geting like this its fucking terable

 

[Swny Nerdgasm]

What you should do, since he is a crappy homophobe is flirt with him shamelessly, unless you think he'll attempt to kick your ass

Or if you read the OP he says that hitting on him is what caused all this trouble. He hit on this guy, fully knowing his sexuality and the guy was a bit upset when his friend of years professed sexual desire for him. As I said above you wouldn't pull that on a friend regardless of circumstance, romance breaks a friendship and deliberately hitting on someone with the wrong sexuality, not even getting to reciprocated attraction, is frankly a little disrespectful to the other person and at the very least is confusing for him.

I mean, was that friendship ever for real or was it an attempt to get into his pants?

I apologize I didn't see that in the OP I was kind of doing two or three things at once at the time, but yeah now that i look at it, it does seem a little weird that he did it knowing that his friend was straight, but hey I hit on my straight friends all the time, hell i routinely ask if any of my friends wanna cuddle or make babies

 

[Varrdy]

For starters, it's a sad fact of life that some people are homphobic for no real reason I can fathom. The suggestion you should "beat the shit" out of him, however, is just as moronic - don't do that (Not that I thought for a second you would!).

OK so making a move on him probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, regardless of wether or not he knew you were gay or not, but if/when he's had time to cool down a little, I suggest that you write / email / call and at least ask to speak to him and apologise. Try directly first and if that fails, try an intermediary - a mutal friend perhaps?

Explain that what happened wont happen again and point out that you didn't become gay the second you came out / hit on him; you're the same person you always were and he just found out something new about you. OK so he could have found out in a slightly less awkward manner but what's done is done.

Tell him you don't want to lose him as a friend and why (although I'd refrain from saying it's because you're attracted to him) and hopefully he will come around. It may take a while but don't over-do it - Don't plead or harrass, in other words (Trust me, I speak from experience).

I wish you the best of luck and I hope your friend is reasonable enough to see your side of things. You may have to do some accepting of your own but friendship is a 2-way thing, remember. He might have felt threatened, betrayed or even disgusted (hopefully not) and this is why he stopped speaking to you. Like I said, let him calm down (if he hasn't already) and then make a start on building bridges.

Sadly there is every possibility that he will want nothing more to do with you no matter what is said and whilst I hope that isn't the case, I don't want to sugar coat anything or raise your hopes. There is a chance that, as has been suggested, he's just a homophobe and there's not much you can do about that, sadly. At least if you make the effort to reconcile you can hold your head up and say at least you tried.

Again, good luck mate!

Wardy

 

[Vaer]

I like how everyone is judging the guy so harshly without even reading the post and being all high and mighty when they probably have never been in a similar situation

One of my best friend just stopped talking to me because he found out i was gay, please give me some advice, what should i try to do in order for me to get him back? i don't wanna lose him. I knew him since sixth grade, that was about 4 years ago and yes i tried hitting on him... think thats why he was shocked.

You failed as a friend really, if you knew he wasn't gay or bi and you most likely knew since he was your friend for so long a time why in gods name would you hit on him ? I am fairly tolerant of gay people and I have nothing against them however if my best friend suddenly tries hitting on me without me ever knowing he was gay to begin with I would be shocked, confused hell.. I wouldn't even know what to think of our friendship and I would most likely avoid him since it would be awkward talking to him..

 

[ntw3001]

Did anyone read the 'and yes I tried hitting on him' portion of the post? I guess not. Yeah, he's justified in finding that difficult to deal with. Why do people think it's necessarily a homophobia thing? I'm not homophobic, but that doesn't mean I like guys hitting on me. If the guy in question were also a longtime friend, I'd find it incredibly awkward.

 

[Swny Nerdgasm]

the other guy taking time to get everything straight in his head.

I see what you did there