One of my best friend left me! please help!

[Cheery Lunatic]

Why is everyone calling him a homophobe?

Chances are nobody here would know how to react, if their best friend suddenly turned gay over night(I know that's not what happens, but as one doesn't know anything until one day, that's what really transpires) let alone if we weren't told.

Think of all the showers(gym class/football/whatever) you had with the guy. Think of all the times you gave him a hug. Sure, not all gay men are attracted to all straight men, but the mind ponders - and realizing that your lifelong friend is gay and has been all the time, is a frightening thought.

Show some fucking respect for this guy, instead of condemning him without knowing any kind of circumstance. The OP is particularly vague in this post, and maybe we need more information to decide, if we should even decide on anything.

Everyone is different. Stop being assholes to people who aren't as "open-minded" as yourself. It's really getting old.

Damn, you deserve a high five for that, bro.

OT: Maybe you shouldn't have hit on him, OP. It's one thing for your bestest buddy to be secretly gay, but it's a whole different thing for him to hit on ya.

He'll prolly come around if you've been friends for that long. He's just shellshocked that there's a part of you he had no idea existed. Give him some time, but be sure you make it clear that you just wanna be friends again.

 

[Banana Phone Man]

I would apologise for hitting on him as that was your fault and not his.

However if he can't see past the differences you may want to consider if this guy it truley a friend. Don't try to force him though as the news probly came to a shock to his system.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Why is everyone calling him a homophobe?

Chances are nobody here would know how to react, if their best friend suddenly turned gay over night(I know that's not what happens, but as one doesn't know anything until one day, that's what really transpires) let alone if we weren't told.

Think of all the showers(gym class/football/whatever) you had with the guy. Think of all the times you gave him a hug. Sure, not all gay men are attracted to all straight men, but the mind ponders - and realizing that your lifelong friend is gay and has been all the time, is a frightening thought.

Show some fucking respect for this guy, instead of condemning him without knowing any kind of circumstance. The OP is particularly vague in this post, and maybe we need more information to decide, if we should even decide on anything.

Everyone is different. Stop being assholes to people who aren't as "open-minded" as yourself. It's really getting old.

I found out my close friend was gay about 2 weeks ago and I was just like "K" and got on with my life.

Also, how often do you hug your GUY friends unless you're just fooling around and doing the whole "pretend gay" thing that is so popular nowdays.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Beat the living shit out of him. If he won't talk to you because hes homophobic, show him what it is to be truly afraid of you.

Ignorant bastard.

Really?

I... wha... what is this I don't even...

The amount of 'liberals' on this site who actively advocate violence over other peoples perspectives (yet are probably the same people demanding freedom of speech whenever they want a soup box) simply astonishes me.

Your post doesn't even make sense.

Someone have a prejudice about you? Prove their prejudice correct. That oughta show them. I don't see why this isn't a bannable post. I will contact a mod.

How is it bannable? I'm not really serious to be honest, I just HATE homophobic people who think gays or muslims are evil just because they're not normal. They deserve to get a good hammering.

Well its up to the mods now. You'll probably get by without any moderation because its not racist or sexist. They don't seem to care when a possible 'real' crime is committed. Honestly mate, the only people who deserve to get bashed are those who go around telling people to bash eachother (or actually bashing people).

Alright then, they deserve a stern talking to regarding their blatant and willing prejudice.

EDIT also, I should probably state that "Beat the living shit out of him" was an overstatement, I just meant he needed sense knocked into him, not curb stomped to the ground or anything.

To paraphrase the joker.

You shouldn't hit them. It makes it harder for them to think straight.

I agree there should be discussion. However, I'll not assume my own liberal views are necessarily 'right'. They have a chance (small) to convince me and I expect the same open-mindedness. People close up a bit when getting lectured/told what to think.

I guess you have a point, but I've seen first-hand too many people's lives ruined by ignorance/racism, i just don't see how people can think that way nowdays unless they live somewhere which they're conditioned to hate gay/other race people.

 

[MetalDooley]

Ok if he's such a good friend then why were you hitting on him?That doesn't seem like the type of thing a friend would do.I love how around 90% of the people in this thread have ignored that fact.I know that if I found out that one of my best friends was sexually attracted to me and suddenly started hitting on me then it would take me some time to get used to the idea

Just apologise for hitting on him and give him some time.If he comes around then no harm done.If not then he's not your friend anymore and you'll just have to get used to the idea

 

[Jedamethis]

Wurds

:O Almost word for word what I was going to say!
Mind reading gypsy lady! *flees*

 

[Colour Scientist]

Why is everyone calling him a homophobe?

Chances are nobody here would know how to react, if their best friend suddenly turned gay over night(I know that's not what happens, but as one doesn't know anything until one day, that's what really transpires) let alone if we weren't told.

My ex girlfriend came out as bisexual 2 weeks after we split up, but I have been reassured since that it wasn't because of me. I was a bit irritated that she came out when she did, but she told me it was just a case of bad timing.

She came out as a lesbian about a week after splitting up with a guy who was considered one of my best friends until he screwed loads of us around. We think he was responsible, because even she admitted he treated her like dirt. She couldn't trust guys after him.

I'm sorry, but are you suggesting that a guy turned her into a lesbian?
You're joking, aren't you?

If you think about it, if a girl loses trust in guys then they could turn to girls. It isn't as stupid as you may think. She said she felt more comfortable around girls too.

Having a bad experience with a guy doesn't suddenly make you sexually attracted to girls. You seem to have had a bad experience with her, does that mean you're gay now too?

You can't just alter your sexuality at will, regardless of your past relationships. I doubt she broke up with that guy and went 'that was shit, I'm a lesbian now'.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Why is everyone calling him a homophobe?

Chances are nobody here would know how to react, if their best friend suddenly turned gay over night(I know that's not what happens, but as one doesn't know anything until one day, that's what really transpires) let alone if we weren't told.

My ex girlfriend came out as bisexual 2 weeks after we split up, but I have been reassured since that it wasn't because of me. I was a bit irritated that she came out when she did, but she told me it was just a case of bad timing.

She came out as a lesbian about a week after splitting up with a guy who was considered one of my best friends until he screwed loads of us around. We think he was responsible, because even she admitted he treated her like dirt. She couldn't trust guys after him.

I'm sorry, but are you suggesting that a guy turned her into a lesbian?
You're joking, aren't you?

If you think about it, if a girl loses trust in guys then they could turn to girls. It isn't as stupid as you may think. She said she felt more comfortable around girls too.

Having a bad experience with a guy doesn't suddenly make you sexually attracted to girls. You seem to have had a bad experience with her, does that mean you're gay now too?

You can't just alter your sexuality at will, regardless of your past relationships. I doubt she broke up with that guy and went 'that was shit, I'm a lesbian now'.

I think she was always Bi, she just changes her preference every time she has a bad encounter.
I don't know, bitches be crazy.

 

[Thedayrecker]

Screw him (not literaly). If he's no longer your friend because you're gay, then you don't want him as a friend. If he realizes how big of an ass he is, and asks your forgiveness then good, but until then, forget about him.

 

[TheButteryGoodness]

This, perfect response to this thread. 'cept I would say give the friend some time, I'm sure he is a decent person and will come round eventually.

Thank the fuck Christ I'm not the only one annoyed at the increasing feel-good bigotry on display in this thread, and on this forum. Sorry for maybe driving this a little off-topic, but I'm really getting pissed at all these fucking "open-minded" asshole constantly bashing everyone who isn't like them.

While this flame isn't directed at anyone in particular(There are also too many offenders to list) I'm certain these people are sad fucking individuals for such an incredible display of hypocrisy.

"NOT A REAL FRIEND BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU BECAUSE OF SEXUALITY, OMG! TELL HIM HE IS A PRICK!!!"

Oh my fucking God. What the hell!?

Everyone here is so stuck up being the best they can be. Such damn snobbery. Such damn bigotry. Everyone who doesn't fit the "open-minded nerdfreak" criteria is automatically devalued and is reminded in several posts that they should reevaluate their existence.

I once wrote in a "What is your stance on metrosexuals?" that I thought they looked gay. I never stated they were gay. I never say I didn't like gays. I never did anything except answer the question.
Do you have any idea how much I was flamed? This forum is turning really bad. Everyone is jumping the feel-good bandwagon.

Such an easy answer: "He is not a good friend"
Somebody offers you drugs. "He offered you drugs!? You should either call the police or simply just break all contact with him at once"
Somebody calls another person a paki in a heated discussion or fight. "Omg racist. Not a good friend"
Somebody smokes marijuana. "LOl marijuanana++?A lLOol Nice" or "Uhh... Get out of there, fast"
Somebody drinks alcohol at a party and gets really, really wasted to the point of throwing up several times. "You probably shouldn't associate with such people. They're fun but not really friends, get what I'm saying?"
Someone has their own opinions on matters(Political/Sexuality/Gay-Marriage/Whatever) that differ from your own. "Uhhh... You're against gay marriage? You're a bigot asshole bitchfaggot and should be shot"

FUCK ME THIS IS GETTING TIRING.

OT:
I've already answered the question.
My answer is the same, boiled down, as PayJ567's:
Give him some time. Surely he will come around.

Although I agree with some of what you said, you can't really call what you're describing "open-minded". Also if some one definitly IS a homophobe who think gays are evil or whatever, then maybe you shouldn't be friends with them (they don't need to be shot or anything).

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

Beat the living shit out of him. If he won't talk to you because hes homophobic, show him what it is to be truly afraid of you.

Ignorant bastard.

Really?

I... wha... what is this I don't even...

The amount of 'liberals' on this site who actively advocate violence over other peoples perspectives (yet are probably the same people demanding freedom of speech whenever they want a soup box) simply astonishes me.

Your post doesn't even make sense.

Someone have a prejudice about you? Prove their prejudice correct. That oughta show them. I don't see why this isn't a bannable post. I will contact a mod.

How is it bannable? I'm not really serious to be honest, I just HATE homophobic people who think gays or muslims are evil just because they're not normal. They deserve to get a good hammering.

Well its up to the mods now. You'll probably get by without any moderation because its not racist or sexist. They don't seem to care when a possible 'real' crime is committed. Honestly mate, the only people who deserve to get bashed are those who go around telling people to bash eachother (or actually bashing people).

Sorry friend, but some people need a good ass kicking. A lot of people, in fact.

That guy didn't deserve to get reported.

 

[The Stonker]

Huh I had a friend like that 5 months ago,he found out that I was bi sexual and called me a freak.
Even horded up some guys to try and beat me up but their attempt was pathetic since well I beat the living crap out of him and those guys.
But when I was pinning him down on the ground and holding my fist over him then I asked him why he was seeking me out and forcing me with violance.
His answer was that I was an unnatural beign and should be destroyed (you get the speech).
Today I got 4 good friends that accept me for who I am and will not judge me no matter what because they adore me and my personality not who I want to screw around with.
Interesting fact the same day I came home after that massacre was that my parents didn't notice the blackeye I had.
Oh and he asked me how I could fight since I like both men and women, easy! I wrestle alot if you know what I mean .
Well today I regret of having used force against them but I had no choice since they where going to attack me.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

yes i tried hitting on him... think thats why he was shocked.

That could be your problem right there.

You haven't told us much about the situation but if he thinks you are trying to get into his pants and that's the only reason you were friends I'm not surprised he's keeping away from you. It would be a good idea to talk to him and tell him that you understand that you probably freaked him out by coming on to him and that you know he's not gay and that you just want to be friends like you used to be and you won't hit on him again.

Really, hitting on a friend that you know to be straight (or at the very least don't know is gay) is a pretty stupid. It is not going to end well. If I had a female friend that I knew was a lesbian and I started hitting on her seriously, I would expect a very angry and hurt response and I feel that she would be deserving of a very sincere apology from me.

Would I be right in thinking you added the above quote later on, after all the "he's not your friend etc" answers?

 

[twasdfzxcv]

If your friend is more important, consider not being gay. If your self identity is more important consider losing that friend. It's that simply really.

The dilemma right now is how to keep your friend at the same type keep being gay I assume. But you need to always consider the possibility that you have to choose one over the other, and sometime that's the only possibility. Might as well just make the decision right now than later.

Biological processes are so easy to override after all.

I see that you're of the opinion that homosexuality is a choice.

Ever heard of something called denial? I'm not saying he should stop wanting to have sex with people of the same sex. What I'm suggesting is that if his friend is that important to him, maybe he should stop expressing himself or acting as a gay person. People can suppress their sexual desire. That is a choice they can make no matter what their sexual preference are.

And what's with the mentality that just because this is who I am I'm going to act it out. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you need to act like a gay person. Just because you're racist doesn't mean you need to act like a racist. Just because you're extreme religious doesn't mean you need to act like a fanatic. The list goes on and on.

 

[Jonluw]

For how long has he been avoiding you?

If it has only been a day or two, I would just relax and let him keep his distance for a while, let him work off the initial shock of being hit on by his friend.

 

[Cody211282]

If your friend is going to stop being your friend just because you're gay, they're not that good of a friend to begin with. It'd be much better if you moved on and got better friends, because someone like that simply isn't someone you want as your friend.

Exactly, sadly you are just going to have to wait for this moron to grow up.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

If your friend is more important, consider not being gay. If your self identity is more important consider losing that friend. It's that simply really.

The dilemma right now is how to keep your friend at the same type keep being gay I assume. But you need to always consider the possibility that you have to choose one over the other, and sometime that's the only possibility. Might as well just make the decision right now than later.

Biological processes are so easy to override after all.

I see that you're of the opinion that homosexuality is a choice.

Ever heard of something called denial? I'm not saying he should stop wanting to have sex with people of the same sex. What I'm suggesting is that if his friend is that important to him, maybe he should stop expressing himself or acting as a gay person. People can suppress their sexual desire. That is a choice they can make no matter what their sexual preference are.

And what's with the mentality that just because this is who I am I'm going to act it out. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you need to act like a gay person. Just because you're racist doesn't mean you need to act like a racist. Just because you're extreme religious doesn't mean you need to act like a fanatic. The list goes on and on.

You made it sound like he should try being straight instead. I never implied he acted the stereotype. When you say "being gay", do you mean as in expressing it etc.? Because when I say "being gay", that's your sexuality, no matter how you may act.

 

[Doclector]

He sounds like an intolerant scumbag. Of course, you probabally don't believe that. Thing is, people are the most deceptive creatures on the planet. They can seem like one thing, but be a completely different entity. I had a few friends for almost a year who seemed like the most honest, friendly people on the planet, but they completely forgot I existed once they didn't need help with anything anymore. You can't trust anyone, the only thing you can do is be prepared for if they stab you in the back. Always have a back-up plan, that's what I say.