Oprah and Dr.Phil is Brainwashing my Mother

[Chaos Bringer]

Tell her calmly and respectfully to "FUCK OFF!"

 

[dududf]

Whenever she is checking her emails, go up to her, and say, "GET OFF THE MSN"... IT'LL ROT YOUR BRAIN, AND YOU'LL END UP LIKE THAT 15 YEAR OLD *****"

Edited for Truth.

You! Just made my day!

 

[Robert632]

Whenever she is checking her emails, go up to her, and say, "GET OFF THE MSN".
Or move out.

actually, he should go up to her when she's watchin oprah or dr.phil, and tell her THEY ROT YOUR BRAIN. and what you said to do at the same time. much more effective.

 

[AWC Viper]

make a code. or just make a kill icon on your desktop that minimises all your chat windows?.

or tell her to mind her own biusness and that it's nothing to be concerned with and that your are probably smarter then that girl. also lock your door? and tell her to mind your personal space?

 

[Lilani]

As Dr. Phil would say, tell your mother what you think. Unless you're hoping she'll move out of that phase spontaneously, nothing will change unless you do something to make it happen.

Also, tell her to get out of the house more and stop shacking up watching daytime talk shows all day like she's gonna learn the secret of the universe from those inflated egos.

 

[jericu]

Sorry to say I can't help you. My mom doesn't watch any of that sensationalist crap they call television anymore. I've been a gamer my whole life, and my mom has never really gotten angry at me over video games or chatting with friends or anything like that. Hell, she nows half the crap on television is wrong, because if it was right, I'd be a sex-crazed serial killer by now. I'm not, therefore sensationalistic television is stupid.

I'd do what most people are saying, try to explain to her that your brain isn't melting from talking to your friends online, and if that doesn't work, turn the tables on her and show her how annoying and stupid a thing she's doing.

Best of luck.

 

[Sigel]

Tell her that the word "gullible" is not in the dictionary and see if she looks for it. Hilarity with ensue afterward I am sure.

Other than that, move out as soon as possible, or fully educate her about tech cause she fears it.

 

[MercenaryCanary]

Okay, I have the perfect tip for you.
Kill your mother. Its best to use some poison. You know, like an accidental mixing of rat poison with chocolate chip cookies.
That way you can keep the house.
Yay(?)!

 

[Larmo]

Invite her at the beginning of a conversation, a tame one mind, just you and your friends talking and let her read them, show her its not a brain sink or whatever she thinks your doing, and that it like your talking on the phone with many people at once about something you like doing.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

call Dr Phil and ask him to help your mother get over her sheeple habits.
it would be beautiful.
"tonight's guest is concerned that his mother actually might actually take me seriously,"
"now Douk's mother your son is telling me that you are mimicking actions that would label you a what we call in the fake physiological business: a border line Sheeple, his says that you actually think that my advice has helped more people than it's hurt and that I don't just tell people obvious things in a soothing voice."
well I've kinda milked that anyways I would recommend consulting any father figure in your community but if that's not possible..............you must reason with it.................. mothers are strange and confusing creatures but if your argument is strong enough................you might reach her..........good luck and god speed

 

[Fiendishfiend]

Am i the only one thinking.........get a damn lock on your door?

I concur.

Which may or may not cause more problems....but you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

 

[DubMan]

Move out of your mother's house. Problem solved

/thread

More to the point,

/life

 

[ethaninja]

So last week my mother was watching Oprah or Dr. Phil like she does every day. I always make sure to change the channel if its something that will concern me (video games, computers, homework) but today I forgot. there was some 15 year old ***** on the show who was in trouble with her parents for texting well over 10,000 times in a month (I think, don't remember the number google it). She was proud of it and the parents were shocked as expected and Dr. Phil being the milker he is decided to ask the girl what she typed in the phone. Things like 'lol' 'rofl' which needed the huge tv in the wall to explain that it was an acronym of 'laugh out loud'. Then she told about her custom made slang terms that she and her friend invented which were NOT invented by her except for like two. Then they went on to talk about how texting replaces conversation in the teen world and if your teen is holed up in their room all day they're texting to each other.

After this show my mom came to my room and said "GET OFF THE MSN!" (She calls any window with text in it MSN) she told me that she doesn't want me to be like that dumb girl so I pointed out that I do not own a phone for that very reason. Then someone messaged me on Steam (chat for pc gaming) and she said 'who is this your girlfriend? I said close the msn!' I told her it wasn't msn and she said 'TWO chat windows? This is too much.'

Now she frequently comes in and forces me to show her my Steam messages and she reads them out of context thinking they're my personal harem or gang. Just wanted to share my story, any tips on how to save my mother would be nice.

Tell her its none of her business, and if she continues, action will be taken. Or yeah, move out.

 

[ranasan]

After this show my mom came to my room and said "GET OFF THE MSN!" (She calls any window with text in it MSN) she told me that she doesn't want me to be like that dumb girl so I pointed out that I do not own a phone for that very reason. Then someone messaged me on Steam (chat for pc gaming) and she said 'who is this your girlfriend? I said close the msn!' I told her it wasn't msn and she said 'TWO chat windows? This is too much.'

I think you're lucky... I wish my mother actually did something like that for my older brother. My brother is a complete freak who never shaves and just texts people on the internet, he has no real friends and even though he is 21 he still bites people. What you need to do is tell her the story of my brother and also show her pictures of you in the real world being social with people you know in real life to prove you are nothing like that freak. Also let her know that doctor phil is just trying to get money from her

and remember texting is no real substitute to actually talking to people. I only text to discuss with my fans on how to improve my comic

 

[The Lea]

You mom needs an IQ check, that's pretty much it. Or a son who can speak for himself.

My mom had a lot of strange ideas when I was young. For example she thought Rammstein was nazi music because their songs were in german. Fortunatly I was mature and smart enough to make a decent comeback, which in my case was doing a John Cleese imitation of Hitler soon after the comment. It broke the tension a bit.
She was interested in my chatting for a while until she gave up trying to influence me, asking what people I were talking to etc.

Fortunatly (In a way) I have Hemophilia, hence I can do pretty much whatever I want to as long as I don't die for all she cares.
I moved away from home 5 years ago, so that solved the issue of parental snooping.
Now I can run around my apartment naked reciting Hitlers speeches while masturbating all I want.

I can only tell you to stop listening to your mother. She obviously isn't capable of constructive thinking. It's time for a rebellion without the immaturity and crap usually involved.
Tell her that you wish her to stay the fuck away from your private life and that there is nothing she can do to prevent you from chatting with your friends. Add humor to it for greater effect. "I can't manage my harem of bitches online with you interrupting my base of operations all the time!" etc etc. Show her you're not like that girl on Dr.Phil.

On second thought, ram a crowbar through the TV, it rots brains.

 

[Gardenia]

I feel you man, my mother is an idiot like that too. She reads about something in the newspapers or watches it on TV, and then immediately assumes I am so deep in that particular problem that only her motherly intervention can save me. here follows my account of a conversation about 1,5 years ago:

(I don't know exactly how it started but she brought up something she had read about some teen gambling away all his money on online poker, and then made it abundantly clear that she suspected me of doing the same thing. This was in line at a grocery store, no less.)

Her: You come here and act like everything is okay but you are probably gamling away all your money on the internet!
Me: What?
Her: You heard me, I cannot trust you with money at all!
Me: Good thing you aren't then. (I had been living on student loans for 6 months)
Her: Don't talk your way out of this!
Me: I don't even know how to play fucking poker!
Her: But you spend alot of time on the internet! I read there are all kinds of gambling sites there!
Me: I play online video games and watch videos on youtube!
Her: And you expect me to believe that???
Me: YES!
Her: Well I don't!

Then I gave her a rant about how she was stupider than an average creationist and that how she even managed to copulate was so astonishing I often doubted it ever happened and that I was the product of human parthenogenesis. I then left the store, and went home to my apartment. She didn't contact me for 3 weeks. Best 3 weeks ever.

The end.

 

[Tears of Blood]

*Snap*

Go up to your mother next time she tells you to do that. Say these words in the exacty order I give them to you.

"Dr. Phil and Oprah are cunts. I am not the same as some crazy ***** who can't put her phone down long enough to do anything else with her life. Not to mention, half the time you tell me to get off of "MSN" I am not even on it. So please, let me use my PC in peace, mother."

That's what I'd do.

 

[The Lea]

I'll add something.

This BS about "She is your mother, you have to obey her!" I know a lot of older "sensible" people tell you needs to get purged out of this world.
Parents are not "Sensible". You're far better off not listening to them at all in most cases. You seem like a smart guy, you can probably decide what's good for you and what's not.
I mean seriously, a mom who watches Oprah and Dr.Phil and then proceeds to apply what they say to everything in life does not have the mental faculties to properly raise a child.

 

[The Lea]

After this show my mom came to my room and said "GET OFF THE MSN!" (She calls any window with text in it MSN) she told me that she doesn't want me to be like that dumb girl so I pointed out that I do not own a phone for that very reason. Then someone messaged me on Steam (chat for pc gaming) and she said 'who is this your girlfriend? I said close the msn!' I told her it wasn't msn and she said 'TWO chat windows? This is too much.'

I think you're lucky... I wish my mother actually did something like that for my older brother. My brother is a complete freak who never shaves and just texts people on the internet, he has no real friends and even though he is 21 he still bites people. What you need to do is tell her the story of my brother and also show her pictures of you in the real world being social with people you know in real life to prove you are nothing like that freak. Also let her know that doctor phil is just trying to get money from her

and remember texting is no real substitute to actually talking to people. I only text to discuss with my fans on how to improve my comic

Your brother would have turned out the same anyway, and you know it.

 

[Gardenia]

I'll add something.
I mean seriously, a mom who watches Oprah and Dr.Phil and then proceeds to apply what they say to everything in life does not have the mental faculties to properly raise a child.

This! These shows should come with mandatory contraception.