Oprah and Dr.Phil is Brainwashing my Mother

[londelen]

Welcome to the club! We have coffee, donuts and pretzels on that table over there! Make yourself comfortable!

And by all means, drink the kool-aid on that silver platter right next to it.

 

[Undercover]

Whenever she is checking her emails, go up to her, and say, "GET OFF THE MSN".
Or move out.

Thats funny cause I actually check her emails because she gets a lot of these weird scam things and spam and she doesn't know how to tell real from fake.

Don't help her out, in fact, just don't talk to her. Completely ignore her.

And whenever she comes in the room minimize any chat boxes you have up and pretend she's not there.

I mastered alt tabbing when my door creaks a certain way and I can usually hear her on the stairs on the way so I have more time. But lately she's getting smarter and probably wearing sandals or something to keep quiet. She shocks me by opening the door really fast and says that I'm surprised because I was chatting Haha.

LOL that's hilarious. One day you should start fapping (or just pretend you are) when you hear her on the stairs so when she opens the door she'll get the shock of her life...

That will either:

A: Freak her out so badly that she'll never come into your room without knocking again.
B: Backfire completely and she'll lose her mind that her son is a sexual deviant and take your computer away altogether
OR
C: Immediately gets her on the phone to Oprah's producers about her pervert son who is constantly masturbating to internet porn and is TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL and please please all knowing, all seeing Goddess Oprah and High Priest Dr. Phil, please bring us on your show so you can fix my son's terrible MSN porn obsession!

I have like, WAY too much free time these days...

The Escapist better give me a shot at a writing gig soon or I might have to do something drastic...

 

[Berethond]

Move out of your mother's house. Problem solved

Seconded. If your Mom's outlook is so easily influenced by opinion shows disguised as "helpful journalism" like Oprah, there's no way you're going to change her mind about anything.

My ex's Mom was an "Opralyte" for years, & I finally knew she'd lost her mind when she started referring to herself in the third-person, saying things like "Oprah says blah blah blah food is good for us.. Oprah says we should read this book..." and the like.

Oprah Winfrey is about as qualified to tell people how to raise their kids as Dr. Phil is to tell people how to drywall their basement. And Dr. Phil himself is so incredibly full of shit that I could go on for days about how his diagnoses and advice have been debunked by real Psychiatrists and Psychologists who are eminently more qualified than him, and how his "advice" is more about ratings than it is about helping people, but I won't.

BTW, if anyone (your Mom for example) says that Dr. Phil is a mental health practicioner of any kind, you should probably let them know that his doctorate is in Nutrition, not Psychology or Psychiatry.

Asking Dr. Phil for mental health advice is like asking Bob Vila how to do a triple bypass...

And his son is a complete douchebag.

Fuck I hate the fact I know so much about these people!

I'm sorry man, but no amount of logic or common sense can change the mind of an "Opralyte" and it sounds like your Mom's already on her way. If she starts to begin her sentences with "Oprah says,"

Run.

I was curious about whether or not he was an actual psychologist, and Wikipedia says he was. Was. Fifteen years ago.

 

[setvak]

Old people these days. THESE EVIL MEDIA FADS ARE RUINING OUR SENIORS! FIRST IT'S OPRAH AND DR. PHIL, THEN THEY'LL START WORSHIPING SATAN!

LOL "Old people these days..." First it was old farts sitting on the porch sippin' whiskey and bitching about the youth of today, now its the youth of today sitting in front of a computer, sippin' red bull and bitching about old people.

The circle is now complete.

It's not over, though. When we're old, we're going to be sitting at our old-fashioned desktops, munching on Soylent Green and bitching about these kids who think that HL2 blows and is centuries outdated.

 

[51gunner]

You say you're still in high school, right? From this I infer that you have a large heavy bag of binders/books etc. that is easily (and frequently) dropped wherever in your room. When you're using the computer, drop leave it leaning against the door to slow it opening.

Not the most dramatic of suggestions, but it's easy and buys you an extra precious second to alt-tab in. Helps slow the burst-in.

 

[Lordpils]

It's a simple problem with a simple fix, your mother knows nothing about the internet and gaming culture any information about it she gets it from people like Dr. Phil. So to start off I would suggest explaining to her that Phil (I officially refuse to call him doctor) gets money by making parents scared pissless of their children and changing the direction where kids are having problems from their parents to the culture that they experience you need to explain to her that the kids on Phil's show are one of the following: Extreme cases, shitty parents that want an out or actors because Phil couldn't find anything new and crazy. Another important thing to explain to her is Phil is not allowed to practice psychiatry (hence the refusal to call him doctor).

So simplified my advise goes thus.

Explain that Phil is a dirtbag and is not a doctor, that his motives aren't to help parents they're to up his ratings.

 

[Korolev]

You can't. Old people will never understand technology. I have a very similar mother - she's smart but she is way behind the times, and is very easily influenced by sensationalist news stories. Simply put, there is nothing you can do. Wait for her to find some other thing to get worked up about.

 

[Cartman2nd]

-snip-

That's the funniest thing I've ever heard that is sad at the same time

 

[Daveman]

make her talk to her friends on msn, worked for my mum when she bugged me about facebook. but I didn't add her as a friend, crucial part of the plan there.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

Move out of your mother's house. Problem solved

I'm in high school. 1 more year then that is a possibility

Whenever she is checking her emails, go up to her, and say, "GET OFF THE MSN".
Or move out.

Thats funny cause I actually check her emails because she gets a lot of these weird scam things and spam and she doesn't know how to tell real from fake.

Let her become a victim of one of these scams. Or buy a dog.

 

[Julianking93]

Its times like this where I love my parents...

The only person who doesn't get how a computer works is my grandmother (understandably) but its so fucking annoying. She acts like she knows everything about it but thinks that everything is out to get her on the internet yet she downloads every smit fraud "spam blockers" and that just makes it worse.

OT, I'd say just try to explain how that stuff works to your mom and show her that your not like the dumb bimbo teenagers that text everyday.

Or take her TV privlages away. "No more TV for you, mom! Its rotting your brain!"

 

[Arisato-kun]

Damn you have my sympathy man.

I've thankfully never had a problem with this. My mom works with computers every day so she's relatively tech savvy. Plus, she knows that most things on TV are garbage so that helps as well.

 

[Xaryn Mar]

Now she frequently comes in and forces me to show her my Steam messages and she reads them out of context thinking they're my personal harem or gang. Just wanted to share my story, any tips on how to save my mother would be nice.

Tell her "No. I don't read the letters you get from your friends, and I don't listen to your private phone calls. This is the same thing, but on a computer."

This might actually work. Besides it is illegal to read other peoples mail (and yes direct messaging and email comes under this as well) so just tell her that she breaks the law by reading your messages.

OR. Get friends to write you in a way that really makes her think that it is your own personal harem. That might shock her enough.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

My mom never cared, so long as I'm not arrested or doing something blatantly terrorism of crime related she'll let me do whatever i please, hell i had a 3am curfew at age 14, long as i didn't make allotta noise coming into the house when I got home, no problems...
course being a socially deficient individual i guess she never thought I'd be into the whole party scene... and she's right and has always been right on those lines. drinking alot with a buncha douchebags and getting so hammered i lose important personal belongings, and or end up in the drunk tank for angrily shouting obscenities about governmental dictatorship of personal educational advancement or some such while stumbling into peoples yards and stuff...

but yeah even though she's not tech savvy at all, I got her to understand my constant use of my computer, through a series of discussions where I explained that I can ONLY make friends online, and I talk to people all over the world.
and how Gaming is a seriously useful stress relieving tool, hell i even play games like Civilization 3 and 4 with her, and such. she's warmed up to my habits and such over time, only took a year or so to get her to welcome my lifestyle...

yeah my advice, find a game to play with her, and while you have her attention and cooperation, start talking about such things with her. might open her eyes to your text chatting with your friends over the net.

 

[Deleted]

Let her become a victim of one of these scams. Or buy a dog.

Is a cat fine too?

 

[Pingieking]

I think my mom saw something similar on the TV receintly too. We had a hilarious discussion at the dinner table, where she was LOL-ing at all those stupid youngsters wasting away their lives on texting/messaging/stuff-like-that.
Then she turns to me and said "I'd laugh at you too, if only the games you play weren't so good. Or if you weren't doing physics. Or if you weren't making more money than me."
I thought that was pretty funny. I also thought that she had a hilarious attitude of "Yay, those kids are wasting their lives. Less competition for my kids. Go technology!"

One thing you might want to try is, instead of using MSN for friends in the local area, ust call them and talk about exactly what you were going to text. I remeber a long time ago my mom questioned (she wasn't bitching at me, just questioning) the wisdom of using a messenger so much. I promptly closed the messenger, then proceeded to take up our home's phone line for the next 4~5 hours by using the phone instead of MSN. She then forbit me to use the phone to call anyone on my MSN list unless they weren't online or won't respond.
Fun times.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

I find immense amusement upon your situation, due to the unforeseen irony plagued within it. I frequently watch Dr. Phil and recall this episode, although admittedly it has grown tiresome. Nonetheless your mother neglected to watch the entirety of the show for Dr. Phil stated in excess he had no qualms with people heavily active on the Internet, claiming so long as you are careful there exists nary a concern. He has stressed social interactive however his agitation is to those who spend excess hours upon the Internet whilst abandoning responsibilities.

Your mother undoubtedly should watch her precious television more attentively.

 

[ace_of_something]

Sooo glad my parents actually understand technology. (for the most part)
What always makes me laugh is when people say it has to do with age. My dad is 62 years old and can run his computer just fine. My mormor grandma (who is 84) know there is a difference between MSN and AIM.

 

[Gigaguy64]

Wow.
I guess im lucky my parents respect my privacy, to an extent.

 

[DayDark]

So last week my mother was watching Oprah or Dr. Phil like she does every day. I always make sure to change the channel if its something that will concern me (video games, computers, homework) but today I forgot. there was some 15 year old ***** on the show who was in trouble with her parents for texting well over 10,000 times in a month (I think, don't remember the number google it). She was proud of it and the parents were shocked as expected and Dr. Phil being the milker he is decided to ask the girl what she typed in the phone. Things like 'lol' 'rofl' which needed the huge tv in the wall to explain that it was an acronym of 'laugh out loud'. Then she told about her custom made slang terms that she and her friend invented which were NOT invented by her except for like two. Then they went on to talk about how texting replaces conversation in the teen world and if your teen is holed up in their room all day they're texting to each other.

After this show my mom came to my room and said "GET OFF THE MSN!" (She calls any window with text in it MSN) she told me that she doesn't want me to be like that dumb girl so I pointed out that I do not own a phone for that very reason. Then someone messaged me on Steam (chat for pc gaming) and she said 'who is this your girlfriend? I said close the msn!' I told her it wasn't msn and she said 'TWO chat windows? This is too much.'

Now she frequently comes in and forces me to show her my Steam messages and she reads them out of context thinking they're my personal harem or gang. Just wanted to share my story, any tips on how to save my mother would be nice.

bwahahahahaha!!

Sorry, it's just really funny. You're mother is a sweet mother. Remember parents raise you, but at some point you're the one who's going to show her how things really are connected.