pedophilia: double standard

[conflictofinterests]

the rest is that the child isn't ready to make such decisions as to engage in sex.

Try telling that to anyone, regardless of whether or not they are a child, that they "aren't ready to make decisions for themselves," and you have just earned their resentment and lost all hope of convincing them to take a look at what's going on. That children, more likely than not, aren't ready to make these decisions isn't based on the fact that they are children but on the fact that sex is an act with a huge number of facets and they probably have not yet considered even half of them. Making a decision based on little to no information on said decision is almost guaranteed to lead to regret.

 

[Vigormortis]

Um...I wouldn't be "ok" with either situation. Whether the child in question is male or female, it makes no difference when they're being sexually assaulted. Whether "willingly" or not. It's just wrong.

 

[UnravThreads]

It's a double standard in our heads. It's from the same opera as "there is not rape of males by females, cause guys always want sex".

But as a lawyer-in-training, I can tell you that legally it has no difference and I've seen cases of both gender go exactly the same way.

Got to agree with this. In the news, when you hear about rape, it's almost never about a man being raped by a woman (sometimes it's about a man being raped by another male, but rarely), and I think that's a big issue in itself, but that's a topic for another debate.

I do think there are some double standards around, but one can easily attribute some of them to "problems". A teenager wanting to perform sexual acts on an adult could be said to be "hormonally charged", and I have to say I agree with that. Some teachers are attractive, and a bunch of hormonal teenagers may find themselves attracted to them.

The problem doesn't fully lie within this attraction happening, the problem mainly lies in people acting upon these attractions. An adult will know what they're doing, and understand the physical and emotional aspects of it, whereas a teenager or even a child would not fully understand.

 

[tomtom94]

If both parties are willing participants, then it should be fine.

If I can just add "And can be proven trustworthy under psychological analysis" then this statement should apply to most situations.

OT: I think the difference is that generally a man pretty much has to consent, while a girl might not fully understand the decision she's making.

 

[Queen Michael]

Don't worry. I stand equally against BOTH of those scenarios.

And I am equally FOR them, as long as it's without a shade of a doubt clear that the kid wanted to.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

The big problem here that you're all missing is that in our hypothetical situation it's a fucking teacher! That is definitely a problem. You don't want a teacher having sex with kids even more so than other people.

 

[Rakkana]

Guess this just shows the difference in the sexes.

But law wise both would get in trouble.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

Gender bias doesn't exist because all of humanity is ignorant, or something. It pisses me off when people start pushing 'political correctness', especially when their answer to human diversity is "let's all pretend we're the same! Unity through homogeneity!"

See, women are gatekeepers. They're the ones that get pregnant. Men are hard-wired to want to pass on their genetic legacy, and so having sex doesn't take a lot out of them. Women, on the other hand, are taken out of the mating game for at least nine whole months (up to about 10 years of child-rearing).

So, in society, when a girl is seen to have been taken advantage of, it's a much bigger deal than a boy, because there's a lot more consequence for a girl. The double-standard exists because it's a fair and logical reaction.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Men have a Average Healthy Once a day passion for sex, from the time they are around 13 til 30. (After that its usually just habit & lifestyle)

Thats only 17 years of desire.. And Society says its wrong for them to engage in sex for the first 5 years of this? almost a Third???

Womens passion for sex doesn't START until she is 33, before this its all emotional desire and feelings (for the majority) They peak for a few final years in an attempt to get once last pregnancy, before menopause.

Hence Cougartown etc..

Most guys at 13 would LOVE to get laid, and fathers would cheer their sons on..

Most girls at 13 don't even THINK about having sex (or society perceives this to be true), and their parents would be mortified if anything was happening..

Given the situation, of course a double standard is going to happen.

Are you sure about this? Or are you saying this is what people believe? I don't know about it just being feelings/emotional desire for women. I know that's always been a component of female, um, "release," but I think there's some desire for sex in there too. It's just it seems like women can turn it off/on or have more control over their desires than men.

Like the last guy said, I'd really love to see statistics or research on that point. Sure, men tend to be attracted sexually to women for surface reasons (SOME men), but I think there are women younger than 33 who feel sexual desire for men on the basis of looks, too. Maybe it's a matter of degree, so we assume it isn't there.

A long time ago my mom said something like, "Men look at a pretty girl and desire her, women look at a good-looking man and appreciate his looks." Not sure if she can really speak for all women there, though. And this was a few years ago.

 

[Lonan]

It would be just awesome to have sex with an attractive female teacher, but if you were a girl, you probably would want it to be with someone you're age and a more emotional experience and all that jazz.

Speaking as someone who hasn't been 13 in 30 years... why would I want to do it with someone my own age, who knows as little about sex as I do and who will probably hurt me through lack of experience. When I was 13, I was crushing on Richard Chamberlain in "Shogun" (Angin-samma), not the boy the next seat over. Admittedly, this may be more due to the fact that he was always miming the motions and noise of masturbating at everyone he disliked. But there were no real suave and/or studly guys in my class, either At 13 boys still have acne and their voices are changing. Older men are much more fascinating. When I finally got to high school, I was absurdly attracted to a teacher's aide with a malformed hand, who was in his late 20's or early 30's.

To all the people who are claiming that the male being older is more frowned upon because it's worse to be penetrated- no, that's not it. It's abuse, pure and simple. Kids of that age are not able to give informed consent- by law. So it doesn't matter who is older, it's abuse no matter who is doing it. Female on female sexual abuse is just as damaging, mentally, as female on male, male on male and so on. You may not hear about it as often, but it does occur. And how will a young man feel if the "older woman" is his mom, or older sister? All of that happens, too.

Adults and older people have power over kids. Kids know the adults know more and tend to listen to them and go along with what they say, especially if the adult has other sorts of power over the child- being in a mentor or supervisory position over said child, like that of a teacher, Principal of a School, Babysitter- part of it is an abuse of the adult's power over the child, and the rest is that the child isn't ready to make such decisions as to engage in sex. They may think and feel themselves ready, but they are not. They may feel impelled by their own hormones, peer pressure, guilt, or other pressure, to have sex with the adult.

I have a friend who had sex with his sixteen-year old babysitter when he was twelve. At the time, he felt she had done him a favor. Now, he says, he's been around the block so many times, he can give guided tours. And he's not so sanguine about what she did. Because of her, he was introduced to sex too early, and he did lots of things to have sex that he regrets now.

I completely agree that it is wrong to abuse power. However, I take issue with people following around adults as you say. This is blatantly not true. My experience is viewing those older as the same age as you. I went to an all male boarding school from grade 7-12 and this was true the whole way through. Respect is given out of charity, and quickly withdraw if there is abuse of equally charitably given authority. There wouldn't be much more order anywhere else than my school, so I definitely take issue with that. I would solve the potential to abuse authority by empowering 13 year olds to always second guess adults decisions and to never go along with them. This seems far more logical than telling an experienced, beer drinking 13 year old he's just a little muffin cake still and has no power over himself somehow. People should find out what happened, the past of those people and other information rather than just "13 and 18, ok!" "13 and 19 NOT OK!" It's incredibly demeaning to have others attempt to reduce you're dignity to "13 year old" and the mere idea that this should be acceptable is offensive to me.

 

[Flying Dagger]

The problem seems to be your confusion between reality and that one south park episode

 

[katsumoto03]

No matter the sex, both people need someone to smack the upside the head.

OI!

 

[Joe Matsuda]

Its just how the world works..."14 yo boy and 34 yo female teacher" is just more okay than "14 yo girl and 34 male teacher"

its nature...just like the sky is blue and the grass is green...

though, I blame the fact that men are terrible and will hurt you (because this is Lifetime)

 

[Thunderhorse31]

The problem seems to be your confusion between reality and that one south park episode

"Nice."

But seriously, if you think that mindset only exists in a fantasy world, you are sadly mistaken. When I was 16 I was seduced by a 24-year-old and I was so proud of my experience, I wrote an essay about it for my senior writing class. My professor liked my story so much he asked me to read it to the class. Did he report me to the authorities? No, but he did find it funny. And I found it awesome.

 

[Wildcard5]

Even though you are talking about society and not the law I would stick to what the law says. Stautory is still stautory, and I believe we should abide by the laws that apply to our areas. This is one of a few subjects where I believe the law has fairly well got it covered as to how people should conduct themselves. I do think that a woman should be treated no differently than a man in this case regardless of attractiveness.

Justice should be equal to all, and exclusive or selective to none.

 

[DeadMix]

I'm not gonna lie, I'm more disgusted with the male pedophile. I'm not saying that's right, but there is a reason. I remember being fourteen. I was horny as ALL HELL. So at the same time I think "That's gross and icky of her," I'm also thinking "Go kid!."

But when it comes to the adult male sleeping with the girl, I can't empathize with that guy. It freaks me out and disgusts me at a much deeper level that rationality does jack shit for.