Poll: Am I a Bad Person?

[dkyros]

I got a lot of dirty looks and i was told i was being selfish. Does this mean im a jerk or would you have done the same?

It is not your responsibility for what happen or their well being. Nor is was it your responsibility to "baby-sit" three dumb and drunken teenage girls. You were a little to "direct" in answering truthfully, but THE TRUTH HURTS in this situation. The bad ones in this situation are the ones who did nothing to stop the girls from drinking and driving in the first place (especially in the snow). You should of asked their friends, where were they, and if they were with them why in God's name they did nothing to stop their friends from getting hurt and killed.

Honestly I would of told the friends of those girls to "Where the hell you, why didn't you stop them when you had the chance"? followed by a "get lost, it is none of my concern".

So jerks and assholes aren't bad people? So what, pray tell, would be a bad person if not a jerk or an asshole?

The People (the girls so called friends) who stood by doing nothing as their friends got drunk and killed, and the OP is the Bad one?

Being a jerk is not a crime or a sin, sitting by as you let some one throw their life away is.

To your "where the hell were you?" you don't think that the girl going around trying to raise money for her critically ill friends wouldn't be asking herself that all the time? If she was there, this would be a very tactless question and if she wasn't it would be even worse.

There are levels of being a jerk, telling someone that their recently deceased friend is an idiot and following it up with telling them they should have been there is way up there. You might as well tell her you wish she'd been with them so she'd stop bothering you.
This is kind of a response to most of this thread, yes drink driving on ice isn't a good idea, but the lack of compassion shown by the majority of people in this thread is staggering.

What we see is someone going against everything that has ever been taught to them and the community throughout life. This person then gets into an accident as foretold by the countless of people who say don't drink and drive. So there is a lack of compassion for the lack of common sense because when this happens it puts their life and everyone elses life in danger.

This is a story of a drunk driver running head on into a family of 5 in 2007.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/12/31/national/main3658376.shtml

Does it suck that one is dead and two are critical? Yes.
Am I glad they only affected themselves? Yes
Does that make me a bad person? You tell me

 

[game-lover]

You're aware that one of the girls in this case died, right? Wouldn't that be a callous disregard for human life?

Look, I don't think this guy should have given money if he didn't want to. That goes against everything I believe in. But not caring about other human beings just because they did something stupid(which one of us, may I ask, hasn't done something potentially suicidally stupid?) is a disregard for human life.

What he said, in my opinion, is true and accurate. Doesn't mean he should have said it, but I'd call what he did(more specifically, what he didn't do) to be a bad thing, thus making him a bad person.

Hm... that does make sense.

 

[Safaia]

it is a documented fact that doing stupid things leads to terrible consequences and I don't think that's anything to argue. You had every right to turn down donating because you don't know them and they were at fault. However, the way you worded it was not the best way of getting your point across. Some things need to be approached with a certain delicacy and 'dead teenagers' is one of them.

So, no, you're not a bad person but you really need to learn to word things better sometimes.

 

[darksakul]

Now if they were collecting money to help the family pay for the funeral because they can't afford a nice service for example, you better pay up.

What? Why? If the OP paid for every one down on there luck, the OP would be in the poor house.

OP has no obligation one way or the other to give any one, or any charity one cent.
Paying for a funeral for anyone regardless of cause unrelated to you does not make you bad, just indifferent.
Making someone unrelated to a event unrelated to him feel more guilty is wrong.

On the other hand I am the kind of jerk would would charge the friend of the girls a fee of my consultation, lawyers and insurance reps do this all the time.

 

[moretimethansense]

snip

no problem now that I think about it the drunks probably don't deserve very much sympathy( i actually have nothing but contempt for DUI drivers) it just as i have said my cousin just died(drop dead of heart failure) and the prospect of anyone scorning someone over a dead loved one is not a pleasant one.

Perhaps not, but I highly doubt your cousin brought his/her? heart failure upon themselves, unless I suppose they took an ungodly dose of amphetamines.

I offer my condolences, for what little worth the condolences of an internet stranger have.

 

[Major_Tom]

No you're not. They could've killed somebody innocent, but they were lucky to only kill themselves, great job!
Also American health care sucks.

 

[zega frega omega]

I see a lot of people are really unsympathetic with the girls. I can't say I feel they've been wronged or are victims of bad luck (as it was their choice to drive drunk), but they should be allowed to have learned from their mistake. I would have made a small donation at least. But no, I don't think you're a bad person, yet you're justifiably rude.

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

You don't need to be cruel to someone in mourning, even if you are right. Just decline politely by saying that you are broke. Or you know what? Spare $5 if you can. Just give them a token amount and send them on their way. They weren't looking for judgment, just some help.

 

[Lonan]

Most people wouldn't the courage to speak out against stupidity. For that I respect you. In my experience, the stupid can be told over and over again the flaws in what they are doing and how to avoid harming themselves and potentially others, but they only listen when physics tells them. So I can imagine myself telling these people to have a designated driver otherwise not be stupid, but then they would go off and do it anyway. And I never really understand why, but they always come asking me for help after they do these stupid things, and I was often far too kind. I really respect you for having the courage to say what I think, but never ended up saying.

 

[Random berk]

What everyone here seems to to be basing the 'no, op was right' argument on is that he wonders if he's a bad person for believing the dead recieved nothing more than the consequences of their actions. This is an undeniable fact. What does make him wrong though, is his complete lack of sympathy for the people who cared about them. The girl asking for money was not part of the incident, and didn't deserve to hear her friends slandered while she grieved for their deaths.Anyone who says that saying that to her was clever, or even morally acceptable, is most definitely bad, and should be ashamed, if they're even capable of feeling guilt for their actions.

 

[Lazier Than Thou]

Also, my question did not assume any morality whatsoever. It was a question of what makes a person bad, if not being a jerk or an asshole. I submit that being a jerk or an asshole DOES make you a bad person. Bad is as bad does. Jerks and assholes do bad things, ergo...

Being a jerk does not automatically make you a bad person, I am most definatly a jerk, an arrogant, argumentitive one at that, yet I give to charity when I can, I help people when asked, I give a sympathetic ear to my freinds and family no matter how shit I feel at the time, and I would both kill and die to protect someone that didn't deserve to suffer.

But I tell people to their face that their stupid family could have killed someone and as such don't deserve my sympathy or my money and I'M a bad person?!

As you said actions determine if you are a "good" or "bad" person, but words are not action, feelings are not action.

Hell I dissagree that actions determine you deserved place on the karma meter but tyhat's a discussion for a different thread.

So telling people, to their face, that their hurt family members are stupid and don't deserve your sympathy ISN'T a bad thing? You're morally superior to people related to someone that did something stupid?

Again, I reiterate. How the girls behaved has absolutely nothing to do with your goodness or badness. YOUR actions determine YOUR goodness or badness. If they're bad for what they did it has nothing to do with your badness for doing what you did. Just because their actions were far worse has nothing to do with if you are or are not a good or a bad person.

And, by the way, listening to people you care about when they feel bad does not negate hurting people you don't care about when they feel bad. It is not a morally superior position to take that you help and care about the people you care about.

Also, it's my opinion that being an arrogant, arumentative, jerk DOES make you a bad person. So does telling off a grieving family.

 

[Feste the Jester]

Personally I agree what they did was incredibly stupid. However, there's a time and a place and right after some people die/are in the hospital with serious wounds is not an appropriate time to mention it.

 

[Doive]

To your "where the hell were you?" you don't think that the girl going around trying to raise money for her critically ill friends wouldn't be asking herself that all the time? If she was there, this would be a very tactless question and if she wasn't it would be even worse.

There are levels of being a jerk, telling someone that their recently deceased friend is an idiot and following it up with telling them they should have been there is way up there. You might as well tell her you wish she'd been with them so she'd stop bothering you.
This is kind of a response to most of this thread, yes drink driving on ice isn't a good idea, but the lack of compassion shown by the majority of people in this thread is staggering.

Hey atleast I cleaned up my language first, what i would of said IRL would have been full of F Bombs, when you have people hurt or lost in an accident caused by a drunk driver you not have pity on the foolish. Look someone square in the eyes who's love one was lost because of the foolishness of a drunkard and tell them you pity the driver. Go ahead, I will wait.... You be lucky if they only slap you in the face.

You are completely missing the point. Nobody has said that drunk driving is ok, but that doesn't justify what basically amounts to deliberately making their bereaved innocent friend feel even worse. You seem to be assuming that the friend going around collecting money was there, which is a ridiculous assumption to make.
You're right, I wouldn't look a victim of drunk driving in the face and say I pity the driver because that would bring me down to the self righteous, compassionless, juvenile level you seem to be on.
Oh yeah, and look how big I am, I cleaned up my language first.

 

[TerranReaper]

"You may be right but don't say it out loud"

This is whats wrong with society now (globally), every one too scared to voice their opinions over bull-shit social nicety and political correctness. Which I must add by definition political correctness is a contradiction of terms since it trades the rights of one person for the comfort of another.

I'm fairly sure if people disregarded any kind of nicety towards other people, the world would be a lot shittier than it is. I bet this very forum can attest to that, when you compare it to a forum such as 4chan. What exactly do you think is wrong with just showing some decency towards people?

 

[Sennz0r]

Now if they were collecting money to help the family pay for the funeral because they can't afford a nice service for example, you better pay up.

What? Why? If the OP paid for every one down on there luck, the OP would be in the poor house.

OP has no obligation one way or the other to give any one, or any charity one cent.
Paying for a funeral for anyone regardless of cause unrelated to you does not make you bad, just indifferent.
Making someone unrelated to a event unrelated to him feel more guilty is wrong.

On the other hand I am the kind of jerk would would charge the friend of the girls a fee of my consultation, lawyers and insurance reps do this all the time.

I assumed he was either in the same class as these girls or they were colleagues or something. There are some social standards I might still adhere to. I'm not suggesting he'd pay for some stranger's funeral, and i hope you realise that too. Of course he has no obligation, I'm just saying he'd look like a pretty damn bad person if he wouldn't put down 10 bucks or something for a funeral (IF the family couldn't afford it, mind).
You don't have an obligation to be nice to anyone, but I'm pretty sure even you, darksakul, need to be nice to certain people to make them like you so you can get stuff done.

So fine, I'll revise my answer: Pay up if you want the people who will hear about you not paying up to like you.That's basically what this is about.

 

[Doive]

I got a lot of dirty looks and i was told i was being selfish. Does this mean im a jerk or would you have done the same?

It is not your responsibility for what happen or their well being. Nor is was it your responsibility to "baby-sit" three dumb and drunken teenage girls. You were a little to "direct" in answering truthfully, but THE TRUTH HURTS in this situation. The bad ones in this situation are the ones who did nothing to stop the girls from drinking and driving in the first place (especially in the snow). You should of asked their friends, where were they, and if they were with them why in God's name they did nothing to stop their friends from getting hurt and killed.

Honestly I would of told the friends of those girls to "Where the hell you, why didn't you stop them when you had the chance"? followed by a "get lost, it is none of my concern".

So jerks and assholes aren't bad people? So what, pray tell, would be a bad person if not a jerk or an asshole?

The People (the girls so called friends) who stood by doing nothing as their friends got drunk and killed, and the OP is the Bad one?

Being a jerk is not a crime or a sin, sitting by as you let some one throw their life away is.

To your "where the hell were you?" you don't think that the girl going around trying to raise money for her critically ill friends wouldn't be asking herself that all the time? If she was there, this would be a very tactless question and if she wasn't it would be even worse.

There are levels of being a jerk, telling someone that their recently deceased friend is an idiot and following it up with telling them they should have been there is way up there. You might as well tell her you wish she'd been with them so she'd stop bothering you.
This is kind of a response to most of this thread, yes drink driving on ice isn't a good idea, but the lack of compassion shown by the majority of people in this thread is staggering.

What we see is someone going against everything that has ever been taught to them and the community throughout life. This person then gets into an accident as foretold by the countless of people who say don't drink and drive. So there is a lack of compassion for the lack of common sense because when this happens it puts their life and everyone elses life in danger.

This is a story of a drunk driver running head on into a family of 5 in 2007.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/12/31/national/main3658376.shtml

Does it suck that one is dead and two are critical? Yes.
Am I glad they only affected themselves? Yes
Does that make me a bad person? You tell me

That's not the point and you know it. Yes drink driving is stupid, reckless and wrong. This isn't about being glad the only hurt themselves, it's about showing a complete lack of compassion for their innocent friend. She was being a friend and trying to help them, she didn't demand money, she asked for it. Having a go at her about her friends, one of whom died presumably days before, is completely unacceptable.
In answer to your question, if you spare the poor girls feelings you aren't a bad person. If you tell her her friends are idiots (which if we're honest amounts to saying the deserve to die) then you are.

 

[Doive]

"You may be right but don't say it out loud"

This is whats wrong with society now (globally), every one too scared to voice their opinions over bull-shit social nicety and political correctness. Which I must add by definition political correctness is a contradiction of terms since it trades the rights of one person for the comfort of another.

You're saying that sparing an innocent girl's feelings is wrong? This comment is just farcical.

 

[moretimethansense]

Also, my question did not assume any morality whatsoever. It was a question of what makes a person bad, if not being a jerk or an asshole. I submit that being a jerk or an asshole DOES make you a bad person. Bad is as bad does. Jerks and assholes do bad things, ergo...

Being a jerk does not automatically make you a bad person, I am most definatly a jerk, an arrogant, argumentitive one at that, yet I give to charity when I can, I help people when asked, I give a sympathetic ear to my freinds and family no matter how shit I feel at the time, and I would both kill and die to protect someone that didn't deserve to suffer.

But I tell people to their face that their stupid family could have killed someone and as such don't deserve my sympathy or my money and I'M a bad person?!

As you said actions determine if you are a "good" or "bad" person, but words are not action, feelings are not action.

Hell I dissagree that actions determine you deserved place on the karma meter but tyhat's a discussion for a different thread.

So telling people, to their face, that their hurt family members are stupid and don't deserve your sympathy ISN'T a bad thing? You're morally superior to people related to someone that did something stupid?

Again, I reiterate. How the girls behaved has absolutely nothing to do with your goodness or badness. YOUR actions determine YOUR goodness or badness. If they're bad for what they did it has nothing to do with your badness for doing what you did. Just because their actions were far worse has nothing to do with if you are or are not a good or a bad person.

And, by the way, listening to people you care about when they feel bad does not negate hurting people you don't care about when they feel bad. It is not a morally superior position to take that you help and care about the people you care about.

Also, it's my opinion that being an arrogant, arumentative, jerk DOES make you a bad person. So does telling off a grieving family.

If the morality of the other doesn't come in to play then killing a person that is activly trying to kill anotheer is an evil act, I know that's an extreme example but frankly your concept of good/bad is pretty fucking stupid.

I gave examples of my morality, now let's get in to the hypotheticals:

A man gives thousands to charity dayly, spends his spare time feeding the homeless personally, opens and funds homeless shelters across the country and does all this with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.
But then one day he insults someones idiot friend/family member because they through their stupidity nearly kill themselves and others.
Is this saint of a man, this man that has dedicated his life to helping others a bad person?
If you even think of saying yes don't bother, I don't have time for fools that would think that way.
I sincerely hope that you never have to deal with the pain of losing a loved one to anothers stupidity, but if you do I guarantee your feelings on this matter will change.

 

[Vilcus]

I would've said no, and then thought the exact same thing to myself. You aren't a bad person, just remember that they're people to, and people make stupid decisions, and despite popular belief, stupid people are indeed people.

 

[inFAMOUSCowZ]

You were right, but sometimes you don't need to say something so harsh. Even though I've been known to do that.