Poll: Am I a Bad Person?
- Thread starter Mr. Google
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Well, I see your logic. No I don't think you're a bad guy, but you know... some things you maybe shouldn't say out loud. Or maybe not directly to the person in questions parents or something, but I don't think you're a bad guy. 
And who knows, maybe having their friend die and being comtose will make the girls that survived think twice before they act like idiots again. But I totally get why you don't want to pay for ther care.
And who knows, maybe having their friend die and being comtose will make the girls that survived think twice before they act like idiots again. But I totally get why you don't want to pay for ther care.
My opinion about this matter was swung back and forth about this. Yeah you hurt people by saying that's their own fault, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said. What if your little sister or brother is standing behind you? Showing pity towards the girls is not sending the message that what they did was very wrong. They commit a grieve sin. I'm not saying that they got what they deserved, but I'm saying that they don't deserve pity or a good reputation. Pitying them is a slap in the face for all the victims of drunk-drivers.
What would have been appropriate is saying you'll give the money to support a don't-drink-and-drive-campaign.
What would have been appropriate is saying you'll give the money to support a don't-drink-and-drive-campaign.
I agree with you, but it's probably not the best thing to go telling to their friends afterwords.
So you commend the post and its message for being mature, and claim that "I actually think I understand now", only to go on about how you still feel you were in the right?Mr. Google said:
If you agree that it is a mature point of view, not to go out of your way to hurt others unnecessarily, then why do you stick to your side of the fence? Feel free to jump over, I'll give you a hand.
Nobody expected you to give any money. The family of the girls may or may not be poor. They may or may not be able to pay for the medical bills.
They didn't expect you to give money. They hoped you would. Is that wrong? You could politely decline.
What they didn't need to hear, however, was that you thought they were stupid, and deserved to die. That is extremely insensitive, uncalled for, and in every way repulsive behaviour.
Sure, some guys in this thread will agree "yeah, I would have done the same"... Please do not listen to them. Do not let them encourage you.
I remember when I was in high school. A friend of mines friend died in a car-crash. He was driving on snowy, icy roads too, although not at too high speed. He lost control of his car, and ended up dead.
I didn't give his family any money, but I offered them my condolences.
I realise you do not have to do similarly, but I think you are in the very least expected to not tell grieving people to their face, that whoever was killed deserved it for being stupid.
A few drug overdoses and suicides later, I'm the same way as you. With suicide there is no question; anyone who kills themselves deserves NOTHING as far as sympathy goes. Besides taking the easy way out, the uh... suicider does it because they want people to care. Giving them that sympathy only propagates suicide as a practical means of doing this. Back in the day, my high school didn't say a damn thing when some kid hung himself, and I say that's awesome. Two cheerleaders also died in a car crash in my school, but they weren't drunk, so I can understand some people being sad. However, the school handled this VERY poorly, by making a HUGE deal out of it and making us all be quiet for whole classes.Mr. Google said:
This is where I freaked out... I started arguing with all my teachers about how we never had this "Day of Silence" bullshit for the tsunami victims, and WAY more people died there. I think it was when I started saying that they would probably not have done much with their lives (although I said it comparatively to all the tsunami victims lives) that I got kicked out. The problem was that EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the school was freaking out because two deaths hit close to home for them, and they were young and didn't understand death (I was a little beyond most of my school as far as naivete goes.). So you really can't expect to win any arguments here... just state your points calmly and try to change the subject.
In short, drug overdose and drinking may be more relatable than suicide, but neither deserves any sympathy what-so-ever.
If they had hit somebody and the donations were for those people then I would probably give money. Drunk driving has many opportunities to be avoid. Am I going to drink today? How much? When should I stop? When was my last drink? Am I sober now? Should I really drive? Should I call a cab?
Giving money to help drunk drivers is a big, "No" for me. I have a cousin that was almost out of college, going to get married, and was hit by a drunk driver. She lived but, now has the mental capacity of a 6 year old. My cousin was stopped a stop light and then the drunk T-boned her on the drivers side. She was wearing her seatbelt and everything. She had no choice or options in this matter. When help arrived they found the drunk dumping her beer and trying to put the blame on my cousin.
When I was in high school there were some senors that killed themselves by driving drunk. It was a guy and two girls. The guy was the son of my Economic teacher at the time and was driving the two drunk girls home. Only person wearing the seatbelt was the passed out girl in the backseat. Then the "accident" happened. He rolled the car, with the sunroof open, and not wearing a seatbelt. Well his head stuck out of the sunroof when the car rolled onto the roof and took his head off. His girlfriend was in the passenger seat with no seatbelt, was thrown out the window and died on impact of the ground. The passed out girl in the back with the seatbelt was in a coma for six months and died.
The teacher took a leave of absence, naturally, for most of the semester. Came back long enough to give us a, "Life it too short to make such stupid decisions." I felt bad for him because he lost his son but, I could care less about the drunks.
Giving money to help drunk drivers is a big, "No" for me. I have a cousin that was almost out of college, going to get married, and was hit by a drunk driver. She lived but, now has the mental capacity of a 6 year old. My cousin was stopped a stop light and then the drunk T-boned her on the drivers side. She was wearing her seatbelt and everything. She had no choice or options in this matter. When help arrived they found the drunk dumping her beer and trying to put the blame on my cousin.
When I was in high school there were some senors that killed themselves by driving drunk. It was a guy and two girls. The guy was the son of my Economic teacher at the time and was driving the two drunk girls home. Only person wearing the seatbelt was the passed out girl in the backseat. Then the "accident" happened. He rolled the car, with the sunroof open, and not wearing a seatbelt. Well his head stuck out of the sunroof when the car rolled onto the roof and took his head off. His girlfriend was in the passenger seat with no seatbelt, was thrown out the window and died on impact of the ground. The passed out girl in the back with the seatbelt was in a coma for six months and died.
The teacher took a leave of absence, naturally, for most of the semester. Came back long enough to give us a, "Life it too short to make such stupid decisions." I felt bad for him because he lost his son but, I could care less about the drunks.
you are not a bad person, you told them the truth, not what they wanted to hear. and what you said will stick in the back of their skulls for ever.
Short answer Hell Yes.Mr. Meslier said:
Long answer, yes because:
Drunk driving does not only put yourself in danger, but also every other participant of traffic. Now when you drunk you probably don't realize this, and don't think about your actions. But you got there sober right? If you are going to drink don't come by car, or make sure you can't reach the car keys. That's the decision you need to make before you drink, and when you don't make it your responsible for your actions. Because you could have made that decision sober, but choice not to.
There isn't anything physically wrong with being a little selfish. It may put a damper on relationships though. Humans have an odd tendency to be hypocritical and judge others before they judge themselves; so I would advise saying a simple "no" the next time another situation like this comes around.
I don't feel that you're wrong, or necessarily bad. Some people are really dumb out there. However, you probably shouldn't advertise this little absolution I'm giving out. Dumb people tend to get mad when they're told.
What I find appaling is that ANYONE can say that he did the wrong thing!s0denone said:
These people commited an act of sheer idiocy, they could well have killed one or more innocent people AND THEN they expect to get money just handed out to them?!
The OP didn't do the right thing, he should have punched them in the face.
There are thousands of people killed or put in to critical condition every year by drunk drivers, they don't deserve ANY money, frankly they don't deserve to live, feelings be damned!
Almost no one can accept being killed or put into a coma in the peak of their life, it's not exactly easy. Yea, they made a mistake which lead to drastic consequences, so does that mean they deserve to have the best years of their life taken away, or their whole life taken away?Urgh76 said: