Poll: Am I a Bad Person?

[Signa]

Not a bad person, but you lack tact. I lack tact too though, so I probably would have taken it a step further by berating them for supporting their loved ones after they killed someone and risked the lives of other innocents. I am of the belief that if you act like an idiot, you should get treated like one. Family ties are meaningless if they aren't going to give you that slap across the side of the head and ask "what the hell were you thinking?!"

Then again that's probably asking too much of some one who raised a kid poorly enough that they would consider drunk driving at some point in their life. Really, you could turn this completely on them for their ineffective parenting.

 

[Gitty101]

Well, you're right that they were in the wrong, but don't you think that was being a little mean? I think the third option in your poll says it best really ^^

 

[Hashime]

I would have done the same.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Nope. I think you were right. They payed for their consequences. Although you should not have been THAT in their friend's faces about it.

But you were definitely right.

 

[dkyros]

well yeah you were being a jerk, doesnt mean your wrong you could have just handled it with more tact thats all

Pretty much what I was going to say. Now being put on the spot I'm not sure any of us would have a significantly better response that would've allowed you to walk away without the people collecting money thinking any less of you.

 

[Shining_Pyrelight]

Well, you're not a bad person (at least, if you are then I am too).

Maybe wrong place and time to say that though, even if you were correct. But, those are normally the thoughts I just say in my head whilst I politely decline to donate.

 

[Coop83]

You seem to be misunderstanding the situation.
The moral conundrum isn't whether or not OP was "bad" in not giving money... But whether or not OP was "bad" for outright telling someone whose friend/family had just passed away, that their relative/friend deserved to die for being stupid.

Will you argue this? You seem like a sensible guy, judging from your post. Are you telling me that going out of your way to add to the suffering of others is "fine"?

When you put it like that, it might sound insensitive, but that's just a question of spin. They were asking for money first of all. The reason that people pay for insurance is so that should something like this happen, we don't have to worry about paying medical bills. (I'll be right with you guys on health insurance soon, since I live in the UK and they're taking that free system apart). Begging is degrading and even in their time of need, loss and grief, the OP only spoke the truth in that it was the girl's own fault that they were drunk, they went for a drive in more than just hazardous conditions and in one case paid the ultimate price.

At some point, the family and friends of the girls will have to admit that it was their fault and due to an incredible lack of foresight (drinking that early in the morning for one, going for a drive in the snow, for two), they deserved what they got.

He didn't go out after these people, singling them out and saying "hey, you were friends with those idiots that got drunk, had an accident and got killed or injured, aren't you. They deserved it!". He was minding his own business and had the bucket rammed under his nose, just like in my situation. Sure, it could have been handled better, but he's entitled to an opinion and while I might not agree with his voicing of it, I will fight tooth and nail for his right to voice it.

 

[Lazier Than Thou]

Bad person? No.

Jerk? Most likely. Asshole? Definitely likely.

Your main problem was that you pretty much failed the notion of tact. Forever.

Can you honestly claim that it didn't occur to you that saying those words wouldn't be well received? Really?

Quite frankly, if any of the girls' loved ones were there, I'm surprised you didn't get punched in the face.

So jerks and assholes aren't bad people? So what, pray tell, would be a bad person if not a jerk or an asshole?

Um... well, it's just what it says on the tin. Just jerks and assholes.

I think there's a small difference between just being a jerk and having no value for human life for example. Or... the fact that this poster is here wondering if he's bad or not is a sign that he's not really. Otherwise, I doubt he'd care.

Most likely, he actually started feeling some guilt over what he said after the negative reaction he got.

You're aware that one of the girls in this case died, right? Wouldn't that be a callous disregard for human life?

Look, I don't think this guy should have given money if he didn't want to. That goes against everything I believe in. But not caring about other human beings just because they did something stupid(which one of us, may I ask, hasn't done something potentially suicidally stupid?) is a disregard for human life.

What he said, in my opinion, is true and accurate. Doesn't mean he should have said it, but I'd call what he did(more specifically, what he didn't do) to be a bad thing, thus making him a bad person.

 

[darksakul]

Well, you're right that they were in the wrong, but don't you think that was being a little mean? I think the third option in your poll says it best really ^^

Mean? He is not as half as bad as I would but those girls friends though if they asked me. I would put the blame on those girls so called friends and make them cry, then tell them to get lost. If I gave out a quarter to every idiot who got hurt or died in my home state, I would file for bankruptcy.

If it was my friends, they would never be able to get to the car keys, even if I have to physically restrain them or even hurt them to keep them from throwing away their lives.

 

[Mr Shrike]

I view this as Darwinism in action and would have done exactly the same as you, OP.

Does it make you a mean, heartless bastard? Maybe, but people never learn.

 

[hyzaku]

/snip...
[sub]Maybe I'm just desensitized...?[/sub]

I have to agree with you. I personally would have done the same as the OP. I hate a lot of things and drinking (to get drunk) and idiocy are two big ones for me. I personally find it "offensive" that someone would dare ask other people (strangers no less) to pay for the mistakes of their idiot friends. You don't want to die or end up in coma? Then try not getting drunk and driving in bad weather. The OP was not being selfish the friend of the drunk drivers was for asking people to pay for the mistakes of stupid people they don't even know. That the friend was offended by the comment is just icing on the cake for my cynical grin, because nothing is more useless than being offended by the truth.

 

[Doive]

I seriously have to commend you for this message. Like really i swear there is no sarcasm in this. It was probably the single most mature thing i have seen on the internet in the past 8 years of me using it. I actually think i understand now. In all honesty i wasn't trying to let the girl hear it. she left to go to another table and i thought i said it quite enough but i didnt back down when i noticed she heard me. I know that im generally a good person it just pissed me off when i got called an asshole when i view it as these girls who are causing unnecessary pain to their loved one to be the terrible people. And that because i dont feel its a good cause to give money to people who don't deserve it. I was just honest enough to say it. Id rather people hate me for the truth than to like me for my lies.

You say you think you understand then you finish by saying you were in the right anyway?!
It doesn't matter if you didn't mean her to hear it, you shouldn't have been saying it in the first place and you deserved to be called an arsehole. Being "honest enough to say it" is not noble in the slightest and viewing it as such makes it even worse. You might prefer to be hated for telling the truth but pick your battles.
You say that HER behaviour pissed you off. This after you called her just dead friend an idiot! If you feel that your behaviour is in any way justified then, as I see it, you are a bad person.

 

[InnerRebellion]

You are honest, but not a bad person.

 

[Manicotti]

You're my hero. I would have probably said something similar such as, "God forbid I stand in the way of natural selection."

 

[Doive]

I got a lot of dirty looks and i was told i was being selfish. Does this mean im a jerk or would you have done the same?

It is not your responsibility for what happen or their well being. Nor is was it your responsibility to "baby-sit" three dumb and drunken teenage girls. You were a little to "direct" in answering truthfully, but THE TRUTH HURTS in this situation. The bad ones in this situation are the ones who did nothing to stop the girls from drinking and driving in the first place (especially in the snow). You should of asked their friends, where were they, and if they were with them why in God's name they did nothing to stop their friends from getting hurt and killed.

Honestly I would of told the friends of those girls to "Where the hell you, why didn't you stop them when you had the chance"? followed by a "get lost, it is none of my concern".

So jerks and assholes aren't bad people? So what, pray tell, would be a bad person if not a jerk or an asshole?

The People (the girls so called friends) who stood by doing nothing as their friends got drunk and killed, and the OP is the Bad one?

Being a jerk is not a crime or a sin, sitting by as you let some one throw their life away is.

To your "where the hell were you?" you don't think that the girl going around trying to raise money for her critically ill friends wouldn't be asking herself that all the time? If she was there, this would be a very tactless question and if she wasn't it would be even worse.

There are levels of being a jerk, telling someone that their recently deceased friend is an idiot and following it up with telling them they should have been there is way up there. You might as well tell her you wish she'd been with them so she'd stop bothering you.
This is kind of a response to most of this thread, yes drink driving on ice isn't a good idea, but the lack of compassion shown by the majority of people in this thread is staggering.

 

[Lekonua]

I find your response perfectly justified.

 

[moretimethansense]

you see the problem with punching people is that they tend to punch back and unless,putting it in gaming terms, your strength stat is higher than theirs(which it probably isn't considering your post number) you are the one that needs medical attention

That's where you're wrong!
I managed to get some gauntlets of hill giant strength after a random loot drop so I'm sorted.

Okay so physical assault isn't always the best solution, but I stand by my statement, they have no right to expect help after endangering people like that.


Also, what does post count have to do with my strength stat?
I could be the strong silent type for all you know.

nice but attacking them might send them into a berserker rage increasing their STR significantly plus you don't know what weapons they might have so attacking them physically is risky unless you have a full party.( the post count thing was just me being an a hole I apologize for it). I'll think anyone expects charity but giving is nice and I don't condone scorning people who ask for it in a time of need. But hey we agreed to disagree

True but I always keep my trusty archer companian close at hand, it may not make it easy but it'll help even the odds.

Okay, I'll concede that I spoke in anger, but this kind of thing happens all the time and it infuriates me:
Idiot acts like an idiot and does something that could well kill someone, idiot thenm immediatly gets them damn fool selves maimed and/or killed but through the grace of Aisha somehow don't kill/maim others, then people act like it was some great tragedy and treat me like the arsehole for saying this is the best possible outcome.

Idiot dies, no one else does = one less idiot in the world.
Idiot lives innocent dies = one dead innocent + the idiot gets a chance to do it again.
No one dies = Idiot gets a chance to do it again
no one dies + idiot gets arrested = idiot drains public funds through court, then more than likely gets to do it again.

I don't hate the family so much as I hate the idiots, but I still can't get over their cheek, "Our idiot drove drunk and could well have killed someone you care about, but they got hurt themselves. Give us money for their treatment, money that we more than likley wouldn't give you if our idiot hurt your freind/family instead of themselves."

the post count thing was just me being an a hole I apologize for it

No need to, I just figured you were making a post count-dick size joke and I responded with a jokee of my own.

 

[JoJo]

I personally wouldn't donate to these people, as drunk driving is not only dangerous to the one who is drunk but also to all others using the roads, including pedestrians. There are much worthier causes such as children with serious illnesses or poor people in other countries which I'd much rather donate towards.