Poll: Bad parents are to blame: why?

[The Infamous Scamola]

You seem to be implying that parents today are somewhat worse than the parents of the past.

I'm pretty sure we can all agree that bad parenting is a timeless tradition.

they are, havn't you noticed?
speeding, regular fights, drinking, all the whoring around and don't bring up the littering or language.
i swear year 8 kids are getting worse and worse.

Do you have any data to back this up? Or is this all a product of your own perception of society today?

Kids have been getting drunk, fighting and giving it up since the time Rome was the centre of the world.

But you know, maybe you preferred it when we were teaching our kids to not let women vote or lynch blacks in the streets.

 

[bluepilot]

Parents let their children get away with murder then expect the rest of society to pick up the mess made after them

Complacency and a self-sense of entitlement has done more damage to children than a good sharp smack will ever do.

Children need structure and discipline. But kids are also getting harder to discipline these days. Child is naughty, take away x-box, so child watches TV. Child is naughty again, take away TV, child plays on internet. Child is yet again naughty, so take away internet, child texts on phone...see the problem...

Plus it is hardly a punishment to be grounded or sent to your room anymore...these days a childs room is an entertainment paradise. Plus children do not want to play outside when then can play games and internet indoors.

 

[LockHeart]

The problem is that parents now expect society to help them bring up their kids, when in reality it is their reponsibility and theirs alone. No one else owes them any aid in bringing up their spawn.

 

[Ygfi]

off-topic: this topic is huge, thank good advice i didn't pick this to do my discussion peice for english on, i'm probly going to be in a bit of troubly with the size of my essay on the michael aktinson things as it is...
how do you code a spoiler warning and such? (i use html code for italics and bold)

On-topic: thanks for your input jard but you really didn't say much on why these parents are doing said things.

 

[ACM_Shadow]

But these days, you get 9 year olds being little shit bags and thinking they're the best thing since sliced bread. The street round the back of me is prolly mostly council owned.. There's a shit load of druggies and yeah I can't walk down the street without getting started on by an 8 year old.

Simple way to fix this with immature kids at school, next time you see a kid being bullied, stop the bullying. then when the immature bully turns to you and says "what are you doing etc etc" either, A: grab something heavy and smash him, or B: hurt him, ieunch/kick/ headbutt(recommended for soccer players) etc.
works wonders, no more bullying around you and the best thing is, all the yr 8-9's stay clear of you. Did this to a yr 9 bullying a yr 7 at school, yr 9's vanished from the side of the school for a month and never bothered me and friends again, of course having 3 peoples textbooks in my bag i smashed him with helped (must've weighed least 5 kilos). Mean, slightly cruel but works. And definately worth the suspension i got to stop the random fights at my school.
Both parents and society are to blame for the kids actions, although it is mostly the parents to blame

 

[Ygfi]

You seem to be implying that parents today are somewhat worse than the parents of the past.

I'm pretty sure we can all agree that bad parenting is a timeless tradition.

they are, havn't you noticed?
speeding, regular fights, drinking, all the whoring around and don't bring up the littering or language.
i swear year 8 kids are getting worse and worse.

Do you have any data to back this up? Or is this all a product of your own perception of society today?

Kids have been getting drunk, fighting and giving it up since the time Rome was the centre of the world.

But you know, maybe you preferred it when we were teaching our kids to not let women vote or lynch blacks in the streets.

womens rights and other rights arn't to do with kids anyway, keep it on topic.
my opinion is based on my own perseption, but that's gethered from what kids were actually doing. in the old days, fights were shocking and rare, now days, they happen so often it's such a bore to hear about (many teachers and older people i know through my 'rents have told of how few fights occured at schools).


guys, try keep to the subject of the reasoning; i'd rather keep it on topic and not just drift into bad things parents do; lets get back to why it's happening.

off-topic, i'm going to sleep, can someone make sure this stays on topic while i'm gone?

 

[Amata]

In my opinion it is mostly the parents fault. Yeah society has a hand in it too, but if you ask me, it is part of the parents' job to teach their kids not to take what they see on TV and at school as absolute truth.

As a few people have said in this thread, it's not really bad parenting, it's mostly just the parents wanting to be "friends" with their child, which is more than a bit ridiculous. When kids are young, they need someone to teach them that bad behaviour will be punished and to set boundaries. Later on in the kids' life, when they don't need to be lead by the hand as much, then I could understand the desire to be friends with your child, because once they have hit a certain age, you have to let your kid go off and experience things for themselves.

One thing I will say though, is that I don't think this whole thing about being against spanking and parents being afraid of being labelled as "abusers" is a valid reason. You can punish your child without hitting them, in fact, if I were a parent, spanking would be the last resort, to be used only if grounding and the like had failed.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

To me, it's a 1:1:1 (parents:society:kid) because anyone who is involved is to blame. Everyone has a choice they could have made differently. When people start taking responsibility and not looking for a scapegoat, then we'll see a change in how things are done.

Everyone says to blame the parents or social influences (which would include parents...) but they never say that it's the kid's fault for being a dumb kid. Why? Because it would hurt their feelings or something. Whenever people say something they did was entirely not their fault I just laugh, because there are almost no situations where your actions are entirely blameless. At the very least you need to admit that yes, you did something that may have been stupid.

No matter how good a parent you are, there's always going to be a kid who doesn't behave or act responsibly so we cannot just blame the parents. People need to take more responsibility for their own actions.

 

[DarkRyter]

You know who's fault it really is?

Bears.

 

[Kasawd]

Sociological theory states that the three main influences when it comes to socialization are Parents, friends and School/Church. Personally, my parents laid down the law when it was needed but supplied me with a good deal of freedom and trust. This made me a well adjusted member of society. I love my parents for the way they raised me and my parents ARE my friends, as well. My parents did make me pay for my own things, though, and that does wonders for the child and their attitude towards money and possesions.

 

[JaredXE]

off-topic: this topic is huge, thank good advice i didn't pick this to do my discussion peice for english on, i'm probly going to be in a bit of troubly with the size of my essay on the michael aktinson things as it is...
how do you code a spoiler warning and such? (i use html code for italics and bold)

On-topic: thanks for your input jard but you really didn't say much on why these parents are doing said things.

Why? My guess would be because of the glut of talk-shows, articles in magazines and generally the outspokenness of child psychologists who have been pushing the self-esteem movement. I don't blame their origins, raising a child who takes pride in what they accomplish and become a confident member of the human race IS important. There is no doubt in that. But they took it too far. Most parents like to think their child is special, after all, why would they have gone through the trouble of raising them if they were going to turn into an underachieving loser? The problem is, children aren't all special, and when you combine a parent's natural inclination to coddle their child and couple that with psychologists telling them that if they just put down the paddle and let the child express themselves, then their kid could be the next President or something. But it doesn't work like that.

If I, as an adult, were to take a baseball bat and some spraypaint and go vandalize some property, I would land in jail and get fined (and probably get the shit kicked out of me by the owner). If I, as a minor were to do the same thing and I had parents like the ones I'm talking about, then punishment not only would be light, but it would be combined with counseling sessions designed to find something OTHER THAN MY OWN DAMN SELF to blame. It really comes down to that: "It's not my own/kid's fault that it happened. It was lack of hugs or a molesting uncle or a learning disorder or the other person started it!"

It's parents feeding off of and contributing to a society that simply wants to blame others for their problems, and take the easy way out. They believe what they are shown in media, and they pass it on to their kids. And then THESE kids grow up to be selfish and entitled people and then this leads (in part) to the collapse of corporations and the inevitable screwing of the economy.

Afterward: I also need to mention about the sharp and horrendious rise in single-parenting in Western society. This is also a huge contribution as to why people are acting the way they are and as to why parents are so damn lenient on their kids. With the advent of no-fault divorces, children around America have been left bereft of one-half of what is supposed to be a stable foundation for their life. We now have a generation of adults who were raised with only one parent (I was one), usually the mother. And since the single parent has to worry about things like bills and roof over head, when it comes to paying attention to their children....they just don't have the time. So they take the quick and easy method. And Yoda has never seen a Dark Side more insidious than armchair child psychologists appearing on talk shows and parenting magazines and writing their own books detailing how the way your parents raised you was wrong, but THEY (who are usually childless btw) can tell you the proper way to raise a happy/healthy/successful child. And you DO want a successful child, don't you?

 

[Supreme Unleaded]

People are bad parents, because they don't want to PARENT. You know, enforce guidelines and punish their children when they do something that goes against those guidelines. People are too worried about upsetting their children, because they want to be the "Best Friend." This is the closest video that I could find on the matter, even though it might not be spot on.
(Let me just go on the record by stating: I do not like Dr. Phil. If anything, just watch the introduction to this. Specifically the part where she states "I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it." Simple solution: No car, no phone, nobody dies. Easy.)

What I would do is say, you can Text and drive, BUT, any crah or accadent you get into, i will NOT help you, and let you pay for the dammages.

Either that or take away the phone.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

You seem to be implying that parents today are somewhat worse than the parents of the past.

I'm pretty sure we can all agree that bad parenting is a timeless tradition.

they are, havn't you noticed?
speeding, regular fights, drinking, all the whoring around and don't bring up the littering or language.
i swear year 8 kids are getting worse and worse.

Do you have any data to back this up? Or is this all a product of your own perception of society today?

Kids have been getting drunk, fighting and giving it up since the time Rome was the centre of the world.

But you know, maybe you preferred it when we were teaching our kids to not let women vote or lynch blacks in the streets.

womens rights and other rights arn't to do with kids anyway, keep it on topic.

Of course it has to do with it, everything has to do with it, it is through their parents that kids learn what is acceptable in society.

 

[A random person]

People are bad parents, because they don't want to PARENT. You know, enforce guidelines and punish their children when they do something that goes against those guidelines. People are too worried about upsetting their children, because they want to be the "Best Friend." This is the closest video that I could find on the matter, even though it might not be spot on.
(Let me just go on the record by stating: I do not like Dr. Phil. If anything, just watch the introduction to this. Specifically the part where she states "I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it." Simple solution: No car, no phone, nobody dies. Easy.)

Ok, that girl's an idiot. I don't care how good you are at texting, it's a distraction and a terrible thing to do while operating a fast 2-ton chunk of metal. It's girls like her that give us not-retarded teen drivers (we do exist contrary to what Allstate says) a bad name.

But on topic, I think it's mostly parents with a good bit of society (mostly school) in there, so 3:2.

 

[AvsJoe]

It's society almost all the way. If you want to blame your and other parents, keep in mind that society dictates their actions as well. But there are outliers. Some people just aren't cut out to be parents. It's kind of a 90/10 split for society.

 

[KaZZaP]

Its the job of the parents to teach the child good values and respect. Even you would of turned out fucked up if your parents beat you or would pay or to beat up other kids or something.

 

[esperandote]

People are bad parents, because they don't want to PARENT. You know, enforce guidelines and punish their children when they do something that goes against those guidelines. People are too worried about upsetting their children, because they want to be the "Best Friend." This is the closest video that I could find on the matter, even though it might not be spot on.
(Let me just go on the record by stating: I do not like Dr. Phil. If anything, just watch the introduction to this. Specifically the part where she states "I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it." Simple solution: No car, no phone, nobody dies. Easy.)

now i feel bad about texting and driving xD but i almost never do it, i dont speed, i keept the messages short and i can text almost without looking at the phone

 

[Ygfi]

You seem to be implying that parents today are somewhat worse than the parents of the past.

I'm pretty sure we can all agree that bad parenting is a timeless tradition.

they are, havn't you noticed?
speeding, regular fights, drinking, all the whoring around and don't bring up the littering or language.
i swear year 8 kids are getting worse and worse.

Do you have any data to back this up? Or is this all a product of your own perception of society today?

Kids have been getting drunk, fighting and giving it up since the time Rome was the centre of the world.

But you know, maybe you preferred it when we were teaching our kids to not let women vote or lynch blacks in the streets.

womens rights and other rights arn't to do with kids anyway, keep it on topic.

Of course it has to do with it, everything has to do with it, it is through their parents that kids learn what is acceptable in society.

i mean, teaching kids proper morals has nothing to do what proper moral are.... we're talking about why the kids don't know what is propper and what is unacceptable, not what these things are.


again guys, try to actually keep to the why rather than the what.

now i'm actually going to sleep...

 

[scnj]

Honestly, I think the blame lies all around. It's partly the parents' fault for not disciplining their children properly, but it's also partly society's fault for looking down on parents who do discipline their children.

My parents weren't strict, but they were firm, and quick to teach me what was right and what was wrong.

As for the texting driving girl, that's partly her fault for having absolutely no fucking common sense. The road requires 100% concentration, not some electronic conversation. Absolutely ridiculous.

 

[Aschenkatza]

We're in a reccession, and I know in my area thats hit parents really hard. Most of them have to work 3 jobs to keep up house payments [and for many thats still not enough]. Schools are losing teachers, class sizes are huge. Schools don't have as many after school activities to keep the children [and specially teenagers] out of trouble. Parents are somewhat to blame, but most of the time, they just can't be constantly watching their children.