Poll: Can you hate gay culture and not be homophobic?

[ReservoirAngel]

I always get kind of annoyed when people mention "gays shouldn't flaunt their sexuality". Mostly because it's such a fucking double-standard. Straight people flaunt their sexuality all the time, yet when we say the same stuff they do about our lives suddenly we're "flaunting it" or "forcing it on people".

Seriously, I can't go one day without one of my friends mentioning his girlfriend, some chick he banged, some chick he wants to bang, or anything like that. But I mention my boyfriend once, or say I find a guy hot, and that's apparently "flaunting" my sexuality. It's such bullshit.

And on the immediate question: there is no "gay culture", just like there is no "straight culture". People just get most annoyed at the camp, parade-throwing sons of bitches that is the common stereotype of gay people. That's not gay culture, that's camp culture as far I'm concerned.

 

[the Dept of Science]

I am curious about why there is even a link in the first place. Why does having a sexual preference for men over women manifest itself in a liking for, say, kitch, musical theatre, certain fashions etc? Even really random things like the stereotypical "gay voice"? I know these things aren't universal, but there is definately a trend.

Back on topic, one thing I would say is that we probably don't realise how much heterosexuality is flaunted in our everyday lives because we have been somewhat desensitised to it. Pretty much all male-focused advertising follows the idea of "if you use our product, attractive women will want to sex you up". If we listen to, for example, old hard rock (eg. AC/DC, Led Zep, Rolling Stones) or hiphop (eg. Jay Z), we are getting a very overt flaunting of heterosexuality, but we don't bat an eyelid.

Also:

 

[tobyornottoby]

It can be a result of homophobia, but it doesn't have to be. It's still silly. Why not let other people be what they want to be as long as it's not hurting anyone? It's just like goths, or whatever, some people just feel more need to express themselves than others. Let them.

I am curious about why there is even a link in the first place. Why does having a sexual preference for men over women manifest itself in a liking for, say, kitch, musical theatre, certain fashions etc? Even really random things like the stereotypical "gay voice"? I know these things aren't universal, but there is definately a trend.

Because it all depends on how our brain is built. A man can be born with the parts of his brain regulating sexual preference, fashion and talking feminized, meaning that stereotypical gay person. A man can also be born with only the fashion part feminized, meaning he'll be straight but still act feminine/gay in certain aspects. Or with only the sexual preference part feminized, meaning he'll be gay but acts like a straight man.

The reason we have these stereotypes, is because the majority of people is built in a certain way. The majority of men will have a predominantly masculine brain, the majority of women will have a predominantly feminine brain, the majority of gay men will have multiple feminized parts, etc.

 

[Indeterminacy]

I always get kind of annoyed when people mention "gays shouldn't flaunt their sexuality". Mostly because it's such a fucking double-standard. Straight people flaunt their sexuality all the time, yet when we say the same stuff they do about our lives suddenly we're "flaunting it" or "forcing it on people".

Seriously, I can't go one day without one of my friends mentioning his girlfriend, some chick he banged, some chick he wants to bang, or anything like that. But I mention my boyfriend once, or say I find a guy hot, and that's apparently "flaunting" my sexuality. It's such bullshit.

It is, but my instinct here is to say your friends are complete pricks, not that you should be able to be like them.

 

[Macgyvercas]

I take the same stance on homosexuality that I take on everything: As long as you aren't an asshole, I have no problem with you.

 

[Lion Ellus]

I'd say you can dislike gay culture but not be homophobic. Just like I can dislike rap, hip-hop, and other cultural icons/media of black people, but I'd hardly consider myself racist.

 

[deadxero]

No issues with anyone's lifestyle, but I never got gay males tendency towards the flamboyant. I've known, very, few gay men who were basically one of the guys aside from the aversion to vagina. The vast majority I've met have been closer to out-of-costume drag queens.

Always kind of figured the "regular-guy" gays were just more comfortable with themselves while the others want to be the center of attention.

On the flip side, almost every lesbian I've ever met had to speak up about their preference or I'd never have known.

 

[TheBelgianGuy]

I have no problem whatsoever with gays or any other minority.
What I do hate is when those people can't shut up about it. Like a vegan mentioning he doesn't eat meat EVERY SENTENCE. That's not about tolerance, that's just hating a stupid annoying piece of shit - I don't care if it's politically incorrect.
Likewise, I'd ask a straight Caucasian meat-lover (ie. non-minority) to fuck off if he kept talking about the same thing over and over again to no end.

People have to learn that being annoying makes others hate you, and that using things like religion, sexual orientation, colour of your skin and disabilities as a shield is effin' immature and cowardly.

 

[Disgruntled_peasant]

Entirely depends on what you mean by 'gay culture', I know gay people who hate so-called 'gay culture' for the stereotypes it creates.
So, no it isnt homophobic as a rule but it easily could be.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

Snip

I feel exactly the same way about this, but have never said anything because it's such a sensitive issue.

 

[Conza]

Well, can you? I know a few gay people, and I've called some of them my friends but never someone who makes 'I'm gay' a major part of their identity. By major part, I mean someone who flaunts it at any opportunity. I realize that it's part of the whole 'we're here, we're queer' thing, but I still think it's obnoxious to flaunt your sexuality (no matter what it is) because it's obviously going to make some people uncomfortable (again, no matter what you like to hump). So, are people who like me who don't automatically hate gay people for being gay but don't like the 'in your face' attitude surrounding a large part of that culture homophobic? Or is it acceptable to draw that distinction?


EDIT: OMNOMNOMNOM *bits of my poll go flying everywhere*

A. Where's the Poll?

B. Yes you can, its just irritating, its not homophobic not to like gay parades or whatever.

 

[MrBenSampson]

I stopped being a fan of Adam Lambert because he made his sexuality a major part of his image(and I also don't like pop music). I'm not homophobic in the least but it still irritated me, simply because what a person is sexually attracted to is completely irrelevant outside of the bedroom.

 

[weker]

No you can still hate gay culture without being homophobic, it's silly and ignorant to think otherwise. Reminds me of an other discussion I had, when I was accessed of being homophobic because I fast forwarded through a gay sex scene in Torchwood.

 

[Dascylus]

I have alot of good friends who (despite being straight) go to a gay club. For the guys it's some fun for the girls it's a club where they can be free from the neanderthal guys who are obnoxiously hitting on them come the 1130pm point.

I hate the place and find I have to explain myself every time I say I don't want to go.
"Oh come on" they say "You're not homophobic are you?"
"You'll have loads of fun"
"It's not like a bunch of gay guys will be grabbing your ass all night"

And I get these arguments even now from people who have already heard my reply...

Eventually I will be loudly and clearly explaining to my friends. (I'll skip typing thi9s in all caps)
It's a tiny club with shit music that overcrowds its dance floor and has no beer behind the bar over 2.8% or under a reasonable price. I guarantee that I am not currently drunk enough nor will be capable of getting drunk enough to enjoy the experience. This means that the entry fee the coat fee and the obligatory drink (cause it's so fucking hot in there) will be money I could have spent on a good few shots of Jaeger and spewed in the bathroom and still felt like I got better value for money.

Why do I have to be so clear?
Because my first response of "Nah, I don't like the place" is assumed to be a sign of homophobia and demands questioning from my friends.

Can you hate gay culture and not be homophobic? Yes, but your friends won't believe you.

 

[Sarcastic_Applause]

No issues with anyone's lifestyle, but I never got gay males tendency towards the flamboyant. I've known, very, few gay men who were basically one of the guys aside from the aversion to vagina. The vast majority I've met have been closer to out-of-costume drag queens.

Always kind of figured the "regular-guy" gays were just more comfortable with themselves while the others want to be the center of attention.

On the flip side, almost every lesbian I've ever met had to speak up about their preference or I'd never have known.

I used to work with a guy who, midway through knowing him, turned Flamboyantly gay, i could not stand him at that point.

Don't get me wrong, im perfectly fine with homosexuality, lesbianism, etc (im bi-sexual myself), If it's more a case of 'Im 'Insert sexuality here', just deal with it' i can get behind that whole heartedly, it's when they bang on about it and constantly bring it up that I get annoyed.

It's almost as though they operate on a system that thinks that sexuality is something that constantly needs to be brought up as a reminder; almost as though they think straight people go around saying how much they want to have sex with the opposite gender.