Poll: Did your parents hit you?

[Strykz]

Nope. I never did misbehave anywhere near enough to be hit (at least for my parents views).

 

[superbatranger]

Yea, but my mom and dad had their own approach. My dad always went for his belt. Didn't help that he had a short temper, and that was his first choice. My mom would just grab a slipper and give me a few smacks on the rear end. There were instances where I was at fault, but at the same time, there were times it was actually unnecessary.

 

[Skuffyshootster]

Oh yeah, my mom would smack me around if I went too far. It made me the level headed serial rapist I am to ... forget I said that.

You didn't say it. You typed it. With the ability to read over it. If you didn't want to make a statement you wouldn't have posted that. If you really had second thoughts about posting it you would have edited it.

You are more then entitled to your opinion, but you should probably working on not belittling another's opinion while making your stance vague, and then ask people to over look it. It just comes across as childish and petty, and you know what? It does more to reinforce the OPs statement than your own.

I...what?

If that was supposed to be funny, I don't get it.

OT: No. Unless you count 'light swipes with a magazine' as hitting.

Does it look like it was supposed to be funny? And I don't ask that sarcastically. I didn't mean that statement as funny, I sometimes point out how absurd people are being, and that was all I was doing there.

How was he belittling anyone's opinion? It was obvious he was just trying to be funny.

You know, I think you're just fucking with me...

ROAR ZABIMARU

WAIT A SECOND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

Christ, I need to lay off the nail polish remover...

 

[TehCookie]

Depends on how bad I was, saying something mean would get me a slap across the face, doing something bad got me a spanking and talking back got me black and blue. The worst part was when my brother and I got into fights (they were pretty one sided since he was 3 years older) my mom would hit both of us afterwords and said "it takes two to fight". So I not only was beaten by my brother but also my mother afterwords. Usually my brother would hit me for stupid things like breathing to hard or not being his slave.

Today if I start doing something bad all my mom has to do is raise her hand and I'll stop. My dad never hit me and often had to pull my mom off be if she went beyond discipline.

I can't tell if you think this was a good thing or a bad thing.
If that was my mother, I would have resented her and probably not spoken to her until she lay on her death-bed.

As a kid I thought it was normal and I was glad she only used her hand. My grandparents have a paddle they used on my mom and her siblings and they had to sign the back every time they were hit. Besides non-violent punishments never worked on me because if she grounded me from TV and video games I'd play them anyways, and if she hid the console I'd find it. If she made me sit in a corner I'd either leave or read a book and pretend to enjoy myself.

 

[groundedcrow]

My dad spanked me once when I was 5 or so, and it was cause I lied to him, so I had it coming.

 

[Zorg Machine]

My grandparents would beat me for the most insignificant of things (For e.g. I stayed on the computer for one hour more than I was allowed to and got a spanking or when my studying interfered with my grandfathers daily news watching).

My mum thought the best way to deal with a child was also spanking and proceeded to do so up every time I dared to point a flaw with her character or if I wouldn't act like her boyfriend was the only thing that mattered in my life.

I was also spanked whenever I'd be upset over not being allowed to go outside (and this wasn't a case of coming home late, this was a case of not being allowed out of the goddamn house until I was 13)

This all stopped due to my own accord the moment I reached the age of 14. I showed a big fuck you to my mum when she'd try the same tactics like before and a big go fuck yourself to my grandparents whenever they'd try to enter the equation. My mum ended up going for "punishments" like no pocket money but that hardly did any good since I was an avid fan of stealing from her purse whenever she thought the money my dad sent me was better put to use paying for a fucking TV she barely ever used and a goddamn bigger appartment she didn't need.

Did I mention how both my parents thought friends didn't matter, family should be everything for me, criticizing your parents was a "mortal sin" and should be punishable by forcing said critic into a mental institution and my free time should be spent reading books to become more cultured?

I always have and always will hate this family.

You are the most awesome person in this thread (salutes). It's so refreshing to hear someone say that it wasn't for the best that they were beaten.

 

[Dexiro]

I can't remember any of it, but according to my dad i got beaten a lot.

 

[FlyAwayAutumn]

I got my ass handed to me when I deserved it. I think I probably would've grew up different if my parents weren't intimidating.

 

[RanD00M]

No they din't.And I turned out rather well.
Well they never really had a reason to hit me.I was a good boy.

 

[Jesus Phish]

My father hit me and my brothers and sisters when we deserved it. And by hit, I mean a slap with a belt or something that could be fashioned into a paddle across the back.

It was never uncalled for and I don't hold anything against them and I do personally believe that it's a perfectly acceptable form of punishment.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

So you didn't curse at your parents because you respected them or because you thought that it was a bad thing to do, you didn't curse at them because you was afraid of your father hitting you with a belt? Over here, almost nobody would dream of belting their child. It's what they did in the middle ages because people didn't know how to communicate with their children in any other way than the fist.

It is nice to see that even this forum is not above having users who decide to inject their own meaning into others' posts.

I am not sure Medieval children were beaten with belts, and I am also not sure doing something in the Middle Ages makes it archaic or evil... they drank beer in the Middle Ages, they ate pork in the Middle Ages, men had sex with women in the Middle Ages, well, you get my point (I hope).

Having a lesson "spanked" into isn't the creation of some fearful Pavlovian response to a behavior, it is a wake-up call that if something you have done could incur such a punishment, there must really be something fundamentally wrong with it. Time spent alone after a spanking was often the most cathartic for me at a young age, because I was trying to understand what could make the only two people in the world I had loved want to physically hurt me, and I always came to the conclusion it was because what I had done was truly bad, which, 99% of the time, it was.

So, to answer your question, no, I didn't stop cursing at my parents out of fear, I did it out of respect and understanding for the purpose of the punishment and the consequences of the behavior.

Exactly this. I don't necessarily disagree with not hitting a child, it's the bullshit, holier than thou response I hate by people who weren't. Kind of like those zealous vegetarians.

 

[Artina89]

Yes they did hit me, but only if I did something really bad. But when I say hit, I really mean smacked on the ass. My parents gave me and my brother solid boundaries and we knew the consequences of overstepping them. As a result, it meant that I respected my parents and the rules of the house. My mum always laughs at stupid TV programmes such as "Nanny 911" or "Supernanny" because she doesn't believe for one second that it works on every child and that they just cherrypick the success stories. When used in moderation, and the child knows why they are being punished spanking can be an effective deterrent against bad behaviour. My parent's next door neighbours kids could do with a good spanking, mind you, one of them got bitten by their Rottweiler when the stupid kid kicked it and then smacked it on the nose with a coca-cola bottle, so I don't hear much of that kid anymore.

 

[Zorg Machine]

Depends on how bad I was, saying something mean would get me a slap across the face, doing something bad got me a spanking and talking back got me black and blue. The worst part was when my brother and I got into fights (they were pretty one sided since he was 3 years older) my mom would hit both of us afterwords and said "it takes two to fight". So I not only was beaten by my brother but also my mother afterwords. Usually my brother would hit me for stupid things like breathing to hard or not being his slave.

Today if I start doing something bad all my mom has to do is raise her hand and I'll stop. My dad never hit me and often had to pull my mom off be if she went beyond discipline.

I can't tell if you think this was a good thing or a bad thing.
If that was my mother, I would have resented her and probably not spoken to her until she lay on her death-bed.

As a kid I thought it was normal and I was glad she only used her hand. My grandparents have a paddle they used on my mom and her siblings and they had to sign the back every time they were hit. Besides non-violent punishments never worked on me because if she grounded me from TV and video games I'd play them anyways, and if she hid the console I'd find it. If she made me sit in a corner I'd either leave or read a book and pretend to enjoy myself.

...still don't get if you think beating children is good.
Ah well, let's get to arguing. Banning from television games and the sit in the corner thing only works on children who either respect or fear their parents. If you don't like your children talking back, argue against them with logic, if they win the argument it means that your child is smarter than you and using physical punishment means that you are a complete jackass and a failure as a parent.

If you don't want your children to do bad things, punishing them will make them do it in secret and if they do it repeatedly after you explain that it's bad it means that you failed in persuading them not to do it or that they will do it no matter what.

 

[ARatherHandsomeGent]

no, but they probably should have.

 

[Pariah87]

I was on the receiving end of a fair amount of corporal punishment, seeing as to my dad it was the only way to reprimand, same way as his parents had done to him.

I understand getting a smack for swearing at an adult, or breaking something deliberately or being a smart ass. I used to get a smack if I made a cup of tea wrong or folded clothes incorrectly.

I don't count it as abuse, ok it has messed with me a bit, confidence wise I found it best to stay quiet and stay out the way, so I've brought that into adult life with me but seeing how many of my peers in school have turned out, it was probably for the best.
*snipp*

Becoming quiet and staying out of the way is probably linked to emotional trauma and seems to be the reason why people hit their children, to get the "children should be seen but not heard effect. The one that turns numerous people into emotional wrecks and is associated with people lacking a sense of creativity and passion.

Most people who are physically punished as children usually get self-confidence by establishing physical domination over others.

Yeah I understand it messed me up quite a bit. I suppose if I were to ever talk to a proffesional it would be revealed just how much of a mess of a human being I actually am, yet it doesn't all come back to this. I certainly lack passion, for anything.

I can only speak for myself about the second bit in bold. I have never used my size to aggressivly force someone else into submission (6'8, very broad, somewhat overweight) nor have I ever used violence as an easy way out, I'd much rather reason with a person than start a fight. I DO use my size/demenour to keep others at arms length however. I have found even drunk people are disinclined to start a fight with the big guy who looks like he'd tear your head off for looking at him the wrong way, even though I'm actually the complete opposite.

Downside is I can't turn that off, so I end up making everyone overly cautious of me, then there's the whole unable to form bonds/get close to people thing etc etc.

Thinking about it, seeing that proffesional probably wouldn't be a bad idea.

 

[Vet2501]

Oh yes. If I misbehaved I got a good skelping for it... and so will my kids (if I heave any). It didn't do me any harm in the long run.

You just now freely admitted that you intend to treat your own children violently. Many people, me included, would argue that giving you that view of punishment through violence can be called harm in the long run.

As far as I know, there are no statistics that clearly show children behaving much worse when they aren't physically punished. Rather, when parents never beat their kids it shows that those parents firmly believe in non-violence.

Well that's your opinion. I still belive that it was the fact that my parents disiplined me that way as a child that has lead to me being the reasonably well rounded individual that I am today. Parents have the right to disipline their children how they please (within reason), and I don't belive in not punishing someone that deserves it.

 

[JWAN]

Sometimes when I was little, nothing to complain about, beating can be good for children if it's moderated and reasoned.

^this

Keep kids in line or they turn out to be twats.