Hi.
I'm a nice guy.
I'm a gentleman, I'm shy, I don't socialize easily or often and am often quite unsure what the heck it is I'm doing. I loan out money that I'll never see again and feel bad asking to get it back.
That said, I'm presently in a relationship with a lovely woman that's coming on a year. If I, a guy who formerly used to complain about the EXACT things this topic asks about, have a chance then yes. Yes, nice guys in general have a chance.
First, your entire premise (that you can know anything about "women nowadays" based on a handful of interactions with certain women) is false. Every woman is an individual with their own desires, interests and tastes.
You may well be handicapping your own ability to succeed at dating by holding such a perspective. I know it kicked my ass when I was your age.
Speaking of: You are seventeen years old. You are too young to even pretend that you know what it is you're talking about here. People at your age behave in a variety of ways that they won't once you're an adult. You do not know what "women nowadays" want. You are seventeen and, therefore, have no experience with "women nowadays". Just the young women and girls in your peer group. Women and girls who are, by the way, going through the same load of BS you are while also having to head off the potentiality of rape.
She did not dump you because you were "too nice".
This girl was, likely, lying to you to spare your (apparently quite fragile) ego. "Too nice" is a way to make it sound as if the problem she had with you was REALLY a GOOD THING and to create the impression that she, being the one doing the dumping,
The problem, then, is one of perspective.
What is "nice"? What is "a jerk"?
If "nice" is mumbling a bunch, hovering around and expecting praise for treating a member of the opposite sex (or same sex, as I have gay friends who've made this same complaint) like a human being or with any amount of courtesy, then it's not nice.
Being nice means nothing more than being considerate of others and honest about your motivations. If you want to date a girl, ask her out. And if she says she wants to just be friends, accept that and ask a DIFFERENT girl out.
You WILL be rejected.
Because EVERYONE gets rejected at some point.
Yes, even those "jerks". Even the girls and women you want to ask out.
EVERYONE GETS REJECTED.
Everyone will be friend-zoned at some point in their life. Everyone will have a breakup based on a little ego-sparing white lie at some point in their life.
Further, if being "a jerk" is acting confident (keyword is acting, as, again, everyone fears rejection), taking care of your appearance or stating what you want plainly and honestly, then being "a jerk" is just code for "acting more adult".
Or, more charitably to those of us who lack the social bluster or who socialized later in life (23-ish here), acting out our socially-imposed gender role. The "jerks" attract more attention from women at this stage in your life because it's easier for women (who have a lot of social pressure to act in certain ways which are conducive to idea constructs like "women nowadays" and to be pleasers and to stroke the male ego when they can) to know what to do around guys who conform to the societal "norm".
You will grow up. You will meet girls who are interested in you.
Hit the gym so you are an attractive specimen when you hit your twenties. Read all kinds of books; fiction, non-fiction, philosophy, anthropology, etc. to make sure you will always have something clever to say about a wide variety of subjects. Make sure your clothes fit you. Take acting lessons or public speaking courses if you have trouble talking in public.
And if you DO find yourself being "just friends" with a girl, ask her for advice in the matters of clothing or if there's anything that might help you date SOMEONE ELSE.
I promise you, your female friends (if you let them actually become your friends as opposed to people you hang out with in the hopes that they'll one day pity you enough to have sex with you, which is just painful for everyone) can be an invaluable resource for not only advice on how to meet and talk to women, but also to understand what the problem ACTUALLY IS.
'Cause, again, I don't buy that you're "too nice".
The best part is that with the exception of some of your clothing (which is a great way to attract someone who doesn't know what's going on in your head), you don't actually have to change who you are at your core. You can be interested in video games, comic books and D&D and still have a good romantic life.
If you're a basically nice person, there will be people for you.
And if you keep that in mind and don't expect to get anything without having to work at it and don't let yourself become bitter or angry or entitled, you'll be able to find those people.
Last but not least, though, is "the Barry Rule" which states that "What you like is as important as what you are like".
Make sure the girls you're courting are interested in the same things you are. At least one of them.
The old stereotype goes that the nerdy guy (that is: me) will go after the cheerleader.
With some exceptions, cheerleaders tend to be very into their gender role which means no video games, no comic books, no D&D, no fun movies, no good music. So, with nothing in common, why would you go out, right?
There's hope for you. Just keep growing up and improving your understanding of the world. It's the old Dan Savage rule: "Don't worry about getting your fifteen year-old self laid; worry about getting your twenty year-old self laid."
Best of luck.
