Poll: How do you see people that sleep around? (Updated)

[Vesamne]

Where are the options for "I am one of those people" or "Good for them, sex is great and being the well-wisher that I am, I wish everybody could have it all the time"? Judging by the poll, I'd say that a significant amount of The Escapist community has a severe case of sour poisonous grapes that manifests itself as a phenomenon known as slut shaming [http://collegecandy.com/2011/03/25/can-we-stop-the-slut-shaming-now/], which is a woefully outdated and irrationally hateful method of regarding those with fewer inhibitions and hangups than one's self by claiming that their sexual ambition (which is apparently very threatening to some people) stems from a lack of morality or a hollow approach to life.

I'm flattered that you'd be so acutely jealous of us sexually active folks, though. We do have it pretty swell.

Oh, and this.

 

[Eikoandmog]

Eh, they can go do that if they want as long as they're being safe. Nothing wrong with a bit of casual fun.

 

[icyneesan]

>Implying a website full of dudes talking about how the PC is the best system ever get laid a lot if at all

Srs: If you wanna go have lots of sex, go do it. If you want to save it for marriage, thats cool too. If you want to brag constantly about it and flaunt your genitals in my face please do that on 4ch

 

[game-lover]

Have you read the comments on that article by the way? Just curious.

You mean those pussyfooting "you're right but let me make a few moderate statements that nobody can disagree with so it looks like you missed some stuff and I'm the smart guy for noticing" comments? Yeah, I read them. The first twenty, anyway.

You're assuming people label all sexually active people sluts. I like to think especially from the replies here that it's the kind of sexually active people and the activity that makes it particular.

The Escapist, in my many years here, has consistently proven itself to be a hangout for socially incompetent niceguys that find women to be alien and frightening due to their lack of experience, and they are abjectly terrified by the idea that a woman might have bigger plans than eternally chaining herself to the first emotionally fragile guy that doesn't just screw her and leave.

I can't really cite any specific examples since I tend to use my memory for more pertinent tasks, so I'll concede that this isn't a fantastic counterpoint, but if you're willing to take my word for it: believe me when I say I've seen tickertape parades of insecure, possessive sexual frustration roll through here to raucous fanfare. If that's not good enough for you, you're more than welcome to chock it up to being a purely anecdotal precedent.

Also, assuming everyone is jealous is incredibly obnoxious. Have you read all the replies or did you just skip over everybody.

I've read the entire thread. Believe it or not, dissenting opinions aren't always born of ignorance, and implying otherwise is similarly obnoxious. You also don't seem to be quite sure of who exactly I'm addressing, so allow me to clarify: this isn't an open letter to everybody, ever, love SODAssault, PS get laid fags; it's the ones that get snotty (as Escapists are wont to do) and dismiss the promiscuous as being... well, how about this guy says it for me.

Pretty much sluts.


And I use the term for both males and females. I've met both, and they tend to be extremely weird and creepy people who lack morality and restraint.

Moving on.

I think you should read the rest. Or at least search for those who aren't as sexually open as you are.

I did and don't see the point, respectively. If the latter suggestion is to be taken literally: jackpot?

Heh... All right, I concede.

I suppose I was mostly thinking about my reply but as you pointed out, my error was assuming that your reply was including everyone.

But since it's only for a certain few that can be and are just as obnoxious, it's hardly an issue. So carry on!

 

[Orange Monkey]

To be honest you seem a little biased as all the choices in your poll are ones that seem to serve a negative opinion. Personally I enjoy sleeping around but I know it's not for everyone, but it's not doing any harm, I use protection and everyone walks away satisfied, As long as everyone remains safe I do not see the problem with promiscuity.

 

[tigermilk]

Nice balanced poll there.

I selected other: While I think people with children should take their responsibilities into account, adults without children who are able to consent should be allowed to sleep together if they wish as often as they wish and in as many different combinations as they wish.

I think adjectives like slut, slag etc are damaging and unhelpful and make the world a more unpleasent place.

I find it rather depressing at least 55% of people (people who didn't select other) feel they haved the right to cast judgement and in some cases can see the future ("growing out of it" option).

EDIT:

Lucky bastards.

This made me laugh.

 

[the Dept of Science]

I see them as people that sleep around.

Thinking about it "They will stop when they get older" is not necessarily negative. For 99% of people this is probably true. There is a certain age after which it is difficult to carry on chasing after girls (and soon it becomes a weird thing to be doing), so most people settle down eventually. However, because of this, when someone is young, they really should be trying to get as many experiences as possible. You don't want to be sitting around at 50 wishing that you slept with more girls when you were in your 20s.

On the other hand, I would hate to make a blanket judgement on all promiscuous people.
There are guys that sleep around who are total douchebags, who mislead and mistreat women. They treat them as conquests so have little in the way of standards, have no qualms about going with completely drunk girls and don't make any effort to follow up the sex with anything.
Yet, there are guys that sleep with lots of women because they are high value guys and they simply love women and sex. They treat them with decency and affection, but know how to turn a woman on as well. They are often upfront and straightforward about their intentions and won't just go cold on a girls after they've had sex.
The one end of the spectrum I have a great contempt for, they are manipulative and amoral, and I consider them not many notches above rapists. The other end of the spectrum deserve all the tail they get. All parties involved get a positive experience out of the relationship, whether it lasts a night or a year, and so I really don't see how these people deserve any ire. In fact, I think these people should be held up as positive role models.

 

[priestswearseatbelts]

Damaged goods.

 

[Mr Shrike]

I don't really care, to be honest.

Their body is theirs to share with as many or as few people as they wish.

None of my concern.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Via binoculars...

It's funny how everyone feels the need to proselytise. People lay their polarised "wisdom" on me constantly and I honestly don't think it changes my behaviour one-iota. I feel I have an innate understanding of my own needs and priorities, and don't need to be told to have more or less sex.

I think that if you make it a moral issue, you're a damn fool. But, I also despise the "you'll regret it on your death bed if you don't do this, that and this" talk as well.

 

[Jonabob87]

Curious how all the polling choices are negative and judgmental.

Sex isn't some magic thing which should be seen through rose tinted glasses and held up with reverence. If you want to sleep around, sleep around, its your life, your choices. As long as you're not lying to the people you sleep with, or manipulating them, then you're fine.

I personally find "No sex before marriage" far weirder and far more unhealthy than "Lots of sex please"

Tell that to the throngs of fatherless children currently growing up emotionally imbalanced.

Disclaimer: I was a fatherless child myself, grew up emotionally imbalanced but fixed now. I'm not speaking from a lack of experience.

Would you like a tissue? Also, [Citation needed]. I know plenty of emotionally fucked up people who had two live in parents and plenty of emotionally healthy people who were raised by single parents.

You seem to be mixing up sleeping around with knocking up people and running away. So you may not be speaking from a lack of experience from the latter, but what we're actually talking about is the former.

If someone is safe, courteous and responsible then by all means they can fuck away. There is simply nothing wrong with that.

If contraception always worked I'd be in complete agreement. But it doesn't always work does it?

 

[sagacious]

Let me just say this...

There is a fundamental moral difference between cheating, being promiscuous, and poly-amory.

Cheating is having sex with many people without the consent of your sexual partner(s). If you cheat you are a dirtbag.

Being promiscuous is having many sex-only relationships, but not getting into attachments. While not very smart disease-wise, promiscuity really isn't wrong so long as everyone involved knows what is going on, and what everyone else wants out of it.

Poly-amory is where a commited relationship is structured around having sexual and/or intimate relationships with more than one individual. really, as long as everyone involved is aware and consenting to a poly-amorous relationship, there is nothing wrong with this at all.

Now here's the problem: all of these three look the same from the outside at first glance. So basically the moral of the story is: don't judge people based on a glance, it just makes you an idiot.

 

[Sovvolf]

Well... this poll could do with a "Don't really care option" as well... I don't. Look its no business of mine who people sleep with, if they want to sleep around then its fine by me, more power to them... Also long as its not behind a partners back, I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[ragestreet]

I see them as people with a better sex life than me.

 

[gazumped]

My first opinions on this topic were formed by my mum who (by her own word) has slept with over 300 people in her lifetime. She was rejected by her dad when she was young and her mother never loved her, she says she slept with so many people because she "wanted to feel loved".

So I grew up assuming that people slept around because they had emotional problems.

I'm older now and my mum's been diagnosed since with a mental illness that develops from being rejected by your parents at a young age. I've met people who sleep around and seem perfectly happy about it. Probably due to my mum's early influence on my opinion on this topic it's hard for me to accept that these people are really happy but I've just got to remember that my mum's different 'cause she's crazy.

I couldn't be happy sleeping around but I have screw ups about sex because I've used it too often to attempt to make people like me, it's just that I've only wanted a select few people to like me that badly.

 

[Laser Priest]

It's fine by me as long as they don't interfere with me or my friends.

But I won't feel bad for them when it comes back to bite them.