Poll: How Will You Give Your Kids "The Talk?"
- Thread starter Julianking93
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I pretty much found out on my own. I don't even remember my mom mentioning anything about sex to me. This is pretty much how me and my mom's "talk" went:
"Matthew, if you ever bring a girl back here pregnant at 15 I will kill you."
"....okay....."
I understand why she said that, but god, telling it to an 8 year old....that was harsh, mom.
[small]...like it worked anyway[/small]
"Matthew, if you ever bring a girl back here pregnant at 15 I will kill you."
"....okay....."
I understand why she said that, but god, telling it to an 8 year old....that was harsh, mom.
[small]...like it worked anyway[/small]
If its a girl, Il let the mother do it.
If its a boy, il probley just tell him bits and pieces, here and there.
Rather than one big talk.
If its a boy, il probley just tell him bits and pieces, here and there.
Rather than one big talk.
basicly my experience of it as a kid
me: "mum where do babies come from?"
mum: "sex honey"
me: "ok"
mum: "remember to use a condom"
me: "...right"
mum: "also if you use my computer delete the history i dont care for those sites you go on"
i just slowly backed away at this point (do note that this happened at the age of 5)
me: "mum where do babies come from?"
mum: "sex honey"
me: "ok"
mum: "remember to use a condom"
me: "...right"
mum: "also if you use my computer delete the history i dont care for those sites you go on"
i just slowly backed away at this point (do note that this happened at the age of 5)
I was raised in a house full of honesty I intend to mimic that, when they are old enough to ask they are old enough to know. I'll try for a cut and dry humorless description to the best of my ability. If I have a boy I may need to buy a butterfly porkchop to act as a visual aid, If it's a girl that part will promptly be skipped because there seems to be very little hope of a good laugh down the line.
I would imagine (I don't have kids yet) that I would be rather open about it, but at a level that they understand. I felt quite insulted at the age of 11 when mum tried giving me the birds and the bees talk when the sex-ed teacher was fairly straight forward about it. The sex-ed teacher didn't make talking about it an awkward moment.
I personally don't want kids, but if I did I'd find out on their own. I could get all nitty and gritty and start telling my daughter/son about straight sex, but what if they're bisexual, pansexual or homosexual? Then I'm making it sound like there's a "right way" to have sex in terms of sexuality. It's a lot easier to let them find out themselves and be there if they feel like asking questions.
It probably sounds more anal intensive than it really is. I don't need to dart around questions and accuse random things of teaching homosexuality as inferior instead of an alternative (and I wouldn't anyway since heterosexuality is the social norm), I just let them find out on their own.
It probably sounds more anal intensive than it really is. I don't need to dart around questions and accuse random things of teaching homosexuality as inferior instead of an alternative (and I wouldn't anyway since heterosexuality is the social norm), I just let them find out on their own.
Basically, I have two different plans which I'll follow, depending on what gender my child is;
Boy;
I'm just going to sit him down, basically assume he knows what goes on, tell him not to be a fuckin' idiot, and give him a box of condoms when he's about 14 or so.
Girl;
Tell her that she's not doing shit till she hits 18.
Boy;
I'm just going to sit him down, basically assume he knows what goes on, tell him not to be a fuckin' idiot, and give him a box of condoms when he's about 14 or so.
Girl;
Tell her that she's not doing shit till she hits 18.
I'll probably say something along the lines of: "I know you learned a lot about sex in school, so I won't go into details, but if you have questions, I'll answer them to the best of my abilities."
Hopefully he will have learned enough at school to not ask. (My "talk" was very embarresing, I was 17...)
Though, both having kids and having the talk, necessitates me having had sex. And I don't see that happening any time soon...
Hopefully he will have learned enough at school to not ask. (My "talk" was very embarresing, I was 17...)
Though, both having kids and having the talk, necessitates me having had sex. And I don't see that happening any time soon...
I'm not one to shelter my kids (note: future kids), but I am one to withhold information until they're mature enough to handle it. Sex is used so poorly and irresponsibly in our culture (regardless of "safe sex") that I owe that much to them. I'll wait until they're old enough (preferably around 7th grade, or, I guess, whenever they'll inevitably end up finding out anyway) and explain it to them. In enough detail so they know what it is. Ideally, I'd love to take them on a weekend trip or something (a son at least, my wife would take a daughter), where we can talk about it and I can teach my kid how to deal with the information.
And for the record OP, Christians don't think sex is evil: it's a very good thing. The idea is that it's a very valuable thing meant for a particular context: that of a committed, lifelong relationship. So no, there is no "sex is evil" thing going on here, simply a more cautious, rational approach than "here's some porn, find someone to do that with you and use a condom."
And for the record OP, Christians don't think sex is evil: it's a very good thing. The idea is that it's a very valuable thing meant for a particular context: that of a committed, lifelong relationship. So no, there is no "sex is evil" thing going on here, simply a more cautious, rational approach than "here's some porn, find someone to do that with you and use a condom."
This one learned for himself about sex, (mostly from Biology classes, documentaries, and the occasional sex ed class), and I expect any potential spawnling of mine to do the same.
However, if it asks me directly, it will be directed to google, or if one is feeling lazy, tell him to read some biology books, or watch the discovery channel...
My parents only ever said this to me:
"Make sure you use protection, as you don't want to make a girl pregnant and ruin your future"
"Trust me, focus on your education rather than girls"
"Don't marry your first girlfriend, we regret it" (That one is a different issue in its enirety, and I made sure they knew that I knew that! >
)
EDIT: These exact phrases may be the real reason I am still a Virgin, and have NEVER been in a romantic relationship with a woman, (I'm perfectly satisfied with the mango tree).
However, if it asks me directly, it will be directed to google, or if one is feeling lazy, tell him to read some biology books, or watch the discovery channel...
My parents only ever said this to me:
"Make sure you use protection, as you don't want to make a girl pregnant and ruin your future"
"Trust me, focus on your education rather than girls"
"Don't marry your first girlfriend, we regret it" (That one is a different issue in its enirety, and I made sure they knew that I knew that! >
)EDIT: These exact phrases may be the real reason I am still a Virgin, and have NEVER been in a romantic relationship with a woman, (I'm perfectly satisfied with the mango tree).
I was never actually given "the talk" and I've turned out just fine. I might just leave my kids to find out themselves as well.
Well, chances are, I won't have to.
Hell, I knew everything there was to know abut sex by ten. And I was an incredibly late learner, compared to most.
Still, when the kid turns about thirteen, maybe fourteen, I'll ask them what they know, and fill in any blanks, if there are any.
Oh, and smack them stupid if they are having it.
Which they probably will be.
Hell, I knew everything there was to know abut sex by ten. And I was an incredibly late learner, compared to most.
Still, when the kid turns about thirteen, maybe fourteen, I'll ask them what they know, and fill in any blanks, if there are any.
Oh, and smack them stupid if they are having it.
Which they probably will be.
I'm actually pissed for my parents sheltering me from sex. Sheltered me from a lot actually. Mostly my mom....Weibchen. Fortunately for me, my dad is more easy going, and he opened me up to a lot, like guns.
So I'm going to let them learn in the best way. People that aren't me. Relatives mostly. Avoid the whole discomfort from "The talk". It's always easier when it's not your own kid.
So I'm going to let them learn in the best way. People that aren't me. Relatives mostly. Avoid the whole discomfort from "The talk". It's always easier when it's not your own kid.
