Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?

[Flac00]

I was spanked a few times as a child and I turned out as a near sociopathic boy who behaves very well and never acts out his violent fantasies towards the mother he abhors. I suppose it made me better behaved but I doubt it made me a better person.

ok....good luck then.....PS: Don't let your mother see your posts.

 

[Wrists]

I wouldn't say it made me a better person, but it certainly affected how I view authority, so I suppose it had an effect on the "model citizen" I have become...

 

[agrajagthetesty]

I find the poll results pretty interesting, I have to say. Seems the group that most virulently oppose spanking are those who were never spanked themselves, which hardly seems insignificant to me. Of course, from the point of view of someone who was spanked, they might not want to see their parents in a bad light or condemn them, so maybe they feel some psychological pressure to justify the spanking so as to defend them. (Obviously just a theory; I'm not in this category so I have no idea.)

For myself, I voted "no", but I'm starting to think I shouldn't have voted because my experiences weren't so much of a "standard" form of punishment. I remember receiving the typical set of smacks to the rear a few times, but I also remember having my head knocked against my little brother's, and being hit so that the force threw me up some stairs. Stuff like that probably doesn't count as spanking, by most people's standards.

 

[DanielDeFig]

Spanking is physical abuse: it's not ok to do it to adults (illegality of physical assault/abuse) and even less ok to do it to children (when do by parents it adds an element of psychological abuse). End of story.

Spanking is included as physical abuse of children, in Sweden, which is illegal. I tihnk some other countries in the world have this law.


EDIT:

There seems to be a worries of a "bias" issue here on the thread, where people who were never spanked say 'no', and people who were said 'yes'.

When i hear/read "Spank", i think of a smacking that is aimed at the butt. Considering that, i was never spanked, but i was definitely "smacked" when i was younger.

When i was really young, my parents never laid a finger on me. As i got older (7+), i began to so what my dad considered "stupid" things (that were sometimes dangerous), and he decided to get my attention by smacking me across the back of the head. I'm not sure if he was going through something during those years (i have yet to seriously talk to him about this), but there were a few years when he did this with a certain frequency (7-10 years old). My mother clearly voiced her dislike of this, but she never physically attempted to stop him (only comforted me afterwards), maybe they were both going through some tough time outside of the family.
The frequency of this became very low as i entered my pre-teens (11-12), and eventually stopped before i hit puberty. i'm not sure if i did less "stupid" things (i still act without thinking, though with somewhat less frequency), or if my parents were no longer going through tough times, probably a bit of both.
My Dad hadn't hit me in over a year, when he decided to do it again (bad mood? I don't remember). Unfortunately, i was 13 and i knew from what my mother had been telling both me and my dad, that what he just did was wrong, and i wasn't going to stand for it. I smacked my fist straight into his chest, to get him to realize he needed to back off. Then i ran for it. He chased me a few steps and then smacked me hared than he had ever had before. I shouted. My mother, sister, and brother were appalled (my brother looked angry, while my mother and sister looked terrified) and started shouting too. I don't remember but i think he just left. My dad never laid hands on me again.
I love my dad, and we do NOT have a bad / abusive relationship. But this is something that actually happened, and something i still want to talk to him seriously about. He didn't exactly have an easy childhood, but even he knows what he did was wrong, just like he knows his smoking habits are bad for him (he's trying to stop smoking again, hopefully it will be for good this time).

I hope this helps to show that smacking children is fundamentally wrong, regardless if you experienced it or not. Someone on this thread made an excellent parallel: If hitting your spouse is wrong (and illegal), then hitting your children is wrong under the same logic.

 

[dementis]

I was as a punishment to my worst behaviour, usually it would be sent to my room and not allowed to go near anything to entertain me and dammit I listened to my punishment, I think i've turned out a pretty decent person, I work hard, pay attention to what i'm told and behave accordingly, I meet people who have never been punished for misbehaving in their lives and they're just dicks generally, I think they could do with a good smack at this age.

 

[Flac00]

*snip*

Right. For supposedly 'advanced' beings we (as a race) have an awful lot of trouble suppressing our own natural urges and instincts. When my ***** was rearing her pups she nipped ears and tails to stop them doing things they shouldn't. This is a supposedly inferior animal but never once have any of the pups stepped out of line with us or their mother. These creatures of supposed animosity driven by instinct can be taught, no different than human beings. We just do it on a different intellectual level.

I mean for christ sake, we're part of a race that have fought countless wars over opinions and clashes of ideals. We meaninglessly killed others because of the colour of their skin or the beliefs they held in their head and you're trying to tell me we're superior beings to many maternal animals?

I'm going massively off point here, but here's the relevance to the statement: A ***** knows the force of her jaws and will not bite the pup enough to make him bleed, she will nip in discouragement. This is her instinct. We as human beings have trouble knowing the limits of our strength, but to make up for that we have a higher level of intelligence. But this doesn't automatically throw physical punishments out of the window. A cut will invariably hurt a child, it's a cut and it draws blood and will hurt no matter how. A smack on the bottom will not leave a mark, will not draw blood and will only remain painful long enough for the child to think about what he did.

You can run this around in circles forever; but stubbornly countering every argument with the exact same retort will get you no-where and is only serving to make you look more and more ignorant to the concept of opinion.

I have no idea what the guy you were quoting said, so I'll just respond to what you said instead. You can't justify your actions just because it happens in the natural world. Children, unlike puppies, have a mental ability to be punished by non-physical actions (like scolding words, grounding, etc.). Puppies, and dogs in general, are stupid (in comparison to humans). They lack any sort of complex communication skill beyond a few barks, smells, and body language. Comparing a human mind, which works on a vastly different scale then anything else in the known world, to a dog's mind is like comparing sweet potatoes to bananas, nothing alike. You may like the idea of spanking because of personal experience or moral beliefs, but the effectiveness of spanking cannot be proven or disproven by comparing humans to animals.
I would never pursue spanking as an effective form of punishment, probably because I have a deep dislike of any sort of violence towards children, no matter how minor. Other forms of punishment, sure. A time out, grounding, the good-ole counting to ten rule (which for some reason actually works really well), and scolding. All of those options work well enough to get a child in line, without having to resort to spanking. Again, there is no right way, but at least we can all agree that beating (not spanking) is morally reprehensible.

 

[deonte9109]

Sometimes just talking just wont do it. Sure i had some resentment towards my parents when I was younger but I got over it because looking back I realize that actions speak better than words.

 

[Kakashi on crack]

There's a fine line between a good ol disciplinary spanking and abuse, people seem to get the two mixed up a lot though.

I was spanked as a child, and it got me in line real quick, kept my grades up, etc. It's a great tactic to achieve discipline in a child if used in moderation.

For instance: My dad used spanking as the first and only option. (unless we cursed, then it was habinero tobasco sauce on our tounges.) For the longest time, it worked, but because it was the only method of punishment he knew, it lost its effect by the time I turned 8, and I refused to notice it. (and he used leather belts by the way, not his hand)

If you use spanking for a punishment to everything, it won't do crap. But if used in moderation, for, for instance if the child is very disobediant, it is a great method. It worked on me, taught me to behave and act respectfully to those older than me, I don't see why it wouldn't pshycologically work on others.

 

[mrF00bar]

When I was younger I only needed to be 'spanked' once and it worked. My dad brought me up with to have respect and discipline and I think that contributed somewhat, now I think I am a better person that if I had been allowed to run rampant.

 

[bak00777]

i was spanked, i think it did the trick. I wasnt bad as a child,, maybe back talking here or there, but i got punished for it. I learned right from wrong, and because of it i never got in any real trouble. I know people that say spanking kids will emotionally scar them, but they wern't spanked as a child. Abuse will lead to emotional scaring, but a spanking when the child does something wrong wont (atleast it didnt scar me or my siblings)

 

[Gudrests]

Yes. Pain was the only punishment that got through to me. Without it, I would be my brother, who was not beaten. He is not exactly the best individual.

You all had it easy, I got the belt.

you got hit before you did something wrong didnt you?...yepp i know the feeling

 

[Ham_authority95]

This is to quash a claim on another thread that anecdotes from people who were spanked aren't proof it works and another person questioned when opinion becomes survey data?

I say: when you make a Poll on the Escapist!!!

So, if you were spanked as a child, please answer whether you support it, due to your own experiences or otherwise. If you weren't spanked, please don't say yes or no solely based on your own opinion of spanking. I've made some options for you, partially to keep you from lying and ruining the poll but also to answer a statistical question of my own...

Have fun, discuss and don't be jerks!!

My parents knew that just yelling at me is the easiest solution for bad behavior.

They only had to spank me twice in my whole life, anyway...

 

[Sn1P3r M98]

I was spanked, and I'm a good person, but I don't think I'm a good person because I was spanked.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I was spanked, and I'm a good person, but I don't think I'm a good person because I was spanked.

This is also my answer, except replace "good" with "isn't a complete ass".

 

[Isan]

so, to summarise the poll as it is at the moment of my posting:

the majority of people agree with the way that their parents raised them.

 

[spartan231490]

I was a very quiet kid and my actions didn't warrant spanking, but I support it. This is going to be tricky to explain, so please bear with me and by all means, I'd be very glad if someone chose to discuss this with me further.

I support a bit of well-timed and entirely justified spanking because I personally feel that there are pitfalls to the "let's reason with him" method that are very hard to foresee. For example: my mother and my grandmother applied this method extensively with me - but as I said before, I was an ok kid, so I guess that makes sense. Throughout the years I learned many many techniques and triggers to manipulate and talk people into getting what I want, when I want it, be it parents, friends, teachers, you name it. You know Jeff Winger from Community? I'm like that, just not good looking, not a lawyer and not the owner of a Lexus.

I feel like the necessary discipline and respect for authority that would've probably made me a more focused, more responsible person would probably have sunk in way better if there had been less compromise and negotiation and more spanking. I'm not saying I'm a jerk and a loose cannon now, because I'm not. But I do have a very low threshold for long-term assignment, I lose interest and patience with projects that take a lot of time because I'm used to quick, easy and efficient results with minimal effort, which in turn gives me very little and short-lasting satisfaction, which makes me a miserable and depressed guy that can no longer see any value in anything he does.

Am I grossly over-analyzing this, searching for things to explain my situation in the wrong places, or is there any sort of truth in my little expose here? I'm genuinely curious of you guys' opinions.

I can kinda see what your saying here. I think that a lot of this is coincidence, but being disciplined in such a pliable manner may have something to do with it.

 

[stone0042]

Not sure if it made me a better person, but it certainly didn't make me worse. It was only done when I acted like a complete dunce, and only then because it was sure to make me understand. Like when I was two, and tried to run across the road. I got smacked, and I sure as hell never did that again.

 

[Dana22]

Nope. It merely implants the idea in their minds.

Which is exactly what we call learning.

I don't think spanking alone does that.

Of course it doesn't, but I thought it is a topic about spanking by responsible parents, not beating child senselessly when he spills daddies beer.

 

[jovack22]

I was a very bad child, and I now turned out just fine.

Although now that I deal with problem-children for a living I know far superior ways of discipline and compliance, but spanking, depending how it is administered and at certain ages is not all bad.

 

[Varya]

Yes I know perfectly well that quote from ancient Greece about children being out of control, and I`m not one of those people going out of my way saying children are all out of control today.

As for the research data, that's never going to establish itself as a fully legit argument because too many people have personal experience (myself included, and 50+% of the people polled) that says otherwise. I mean I grew up with 5 siblings and we all got spanked when we stepped over the line, and the majority of our friends got the same treatment... to suggest that we were physical abused (going by your definition) by our parents with long lasting effects is simply absurd. Additionally, I would question how impartial these studies are, as I'd imagine they're done by like minded people to yourself who equate spanking as child abuse. If you equate spanking to child abuse, then do you differentiate what I consider to be simple discipline on one hand and real child abuse on the other in your study? Either way you're going to have as much luck convincing me of this as you are telling me that the Earth is flat.

Perhaps a better way to put, taking the step from my view point to yours, if someone were to take the same step from there one might conclude: parents may not discipline their children period. They`ll say we're not allowed to just hit people in society, but in the same manner other ways you discipline your children doesn't doesn't translate to adult society either. Let's take 3 forms of discipline:

1. A spanking - physical assault!
2. Grounded to your room - unlawful imprisonment!
3. No Candy for a month - wait till the union here's about this!

If you step into a child's shoes, say you get offered a choice of discipline between getting a spank or being denied treats or privileges for a period of time, is one going to be that much worse than the other? It's not like children don't experience pain, you're always going to have scraped knee's or banged heads. It's all abusive punishment one way or the other, so let's get rid of discipline altogether and just use words to explain to children what they're doing wrong. And only kind words of course, you can hurt someone with a tongue lashing in a different way but just as well as with a hand.

Ok, to clarify, I do not think that all spanking is physical assault, or that anyone who has ever done it is abusing their kids, simply that they are wrong and should not do it. Hmm... still sounds bad... I mean that you can do something bad whilst believing it's good, and that's what I think it is.
Also, one cannot talk about oneself and say "I was spanked and I'm nice, so spanking made me nice" Who we become are dependent on a number of things, most of which we are unaware of on a conscious level. Only scentific studies can show us any form of "objective" result. (Yes, this also means I can't say that I am proof that spanking is wrong since I'm nice and unspanked, fair's fair.)
As far as I checked, the study was conducted by Columbia University, and not in Sweden. We are also not in the habit of falsifying results to suit our needs, that is not what science is for.
Thing is, spanking your children has been proven to have negative side effects. Not spanking children has been proven not to turn us in to raging chaos. We are country with fair laws and great education. It might not be because we don't spank pur kids, but if we can do it without, why would we do it when we undoubtedly KNOW that there ca be negative effects. I am not saying not to punish your kids, that is obvious, but it is not only possible, but preferable to do it without resorting to physical punishment. Kids can learn moral and consequences without pain.