Poll: Im in love?

[Manicotti]

100 bucks says you're more in love with the idea of being in love than with the actual person herself. Happens all the time and especially to people with no hard experience with relationships.

You want advice, go find out more about this person - or at least tell us more, because there's something about her that you either don't know or are afraid to admit. Figure out if what you two have in common is more important than what you don't, and if it isn't, then forget about a future with her. Better to break your heart yourself, now, than to have someone else do it later with less mercy when you actually have something to lose.

Get ready to fork over the dough than. This Girl and I have a deep interpersonal connection strong enough to override 2 and 1/2 years of me telling myself "Im no good for anyone just get to 18 join the Military and die." Shes funny, quirky, unique and beautiful we have a similar sense of humor, We like the same foods, we're both artistic and we are both of Scots ancestry. And we're both pale enough to make Marilyn Manson tell us to go outside.

I stand corrected, then. Go ask her to something, and good luck.

You stand at your computer? /wit

I crouch corrected at my computer, leering at my monitor in a troglodytic fashion.

 

[Mr. Doe]

TWO YEARS? Yeah I know that kind of relationships. You buy her lunch, help her out and shit and dream about her, while she knows you as 'that nerdy weirdo, but kinda sweet in a way'.

OK well, to give her the benefit of the doubt, you can ask her out. ONCE. Clearly. Like 'Hey, so how about we go out some day? Like, seriously. How about saturday evening?' If she says anything else then a clear YES (unless she's doing something very important on saturday evening - NOT washing her hair), run away, don't look back and find someone else.

Thankfully she doesnt refer to me as the nerdy guy because the Nerdiest I get is being angry at remakes for fucking up my childhood and talking to other nerds about nerdy stuff while other people in our (quite wide) circle of freinds gush about stuff like how to beat high level pokemon with a ratatat and where all the secret items are in Final fantasy 999 or whatever that series is on now. I think it also might be helped by her being a Quasi Goth chick and me being the size and shape of a Refridgerator wearing either a suit or a Denim vest. (depending on the day)

 

[Webb5432]

Dude, give it a shot. I've been in bad situations with relationships and as one guy to another, you can't let that stop you. I've been trying to have emotional connections for the past two years and until I met my girlfriend it was incredibly difficult. You're lucky to already have feelings for someone, and you should not let that hold you back. Ever.

Ask her out for lunch again, or to go for a coffee, or something. Go out with her. If you're shy, don't hide it. If you're nervous, tell her at some point. Don't make a big deal of it, just go out and do something fun together, like go for lunch or a movie or, heck, go mini-golfing. I dunno. Do something together that you both want to do. Show her who you are. And heck, at the end, ask her if she would like to go out again sometime.

If you got the will to go out, go out!

And in relationships, or in life, remember some important words:

"Do what you fear, and the death of fear is certain."

You got a chance with her. And you got a chance to be happy. Take it.

 

[clipse15]

So fellow escapists. Im very certain Im in love with this girl I know, weve spent alot of time together over the past two years and Ive bought her lunch quite a few times we have alot in common(she doesnt like "nerdy" stuff though.) But even though Ive caught her looking at me with a weird kind of smile (The same kind I get when I look at her) but shes never really said anything with a clear message. I dont know if now is a good time to say something as she just got out of a relationship with a huge D-Bag and Im kind of emotionally crippled. (because the first girl I ever tried to have anything more than freindship with ended up blowing my older brother within ten minutes of meeting him and that prevented me from attempting that again for about two years.) But on that very same hand Ive never been in a relationship or even gotten to hand holding for that matter. Whereas she isnt as unexperienced (which Im fine with but Im not sure if she is.) I just want to know if any of you other people on the forums have relevent advice or opinions.

Do you mind if I ask you how old you are? i'm only asking because I doubt very much that you are truly in love. Your in love with the idea that there's someone who likes all the same stuff as you.Love isn't simply having all the boxes checked off in your list of perfect qualities. People are more complex than that. I honestly believe that you like this girl a lot but if you plan to pursue her do not tell her that you love her because that will come off as insincere and she will probably throw you the "I don't see you that way" line. She will rationally, logically and correctly ask her self why would he love me when we haven't experienced any interections as a couple. Love develops it doesn't jsut happen.

 

[Blueruler182]

100 bucks says you're more in love with the idea of being in love than with the actual person herself. Happens all the time and especially to people with no hard experience with relationships.

You want advice, go find out more about this person - or at least tell us more, because there's something about her that you either don't know or are afraid to admit. Figure out if what you two have in common is more important than what you don't, and if it isn't, then forget about a future with her. Better to break your heart yourself, now, than to have someone else do it later with less mercy when you actually have something to lose.

Get ready to fork over the dough than. This Girl and I have a deep interpersonal connection strong enough to override 2 and 1/2 years of me telling myself "Im no good for anyone just get to 18 join the Military and die." Shes funny, quirky, unique and beautiful we have a similar sense of humor, We like the same foods, we're both artistic and we are both of Scots ancestry. And we're both pale enough to make Marilyn Manson tell us to go outside.

Okay, this is kind of creepy. You're starting to sound like me about a year ago. Here's my advice, ask now. I waited four years and all asking did was ruin a good friendship with a girl who clearly needed it. If you wait too long it's going to bite you in the ass.

 

[Tharwen]

Yes, you should do something. You obviously want to.

The only problem now is in overcoming the immediate fear of rejection, but if you can't do that, what makes you worth her time?

 

[Birdmad]

Go for it.
I know people say stuff like "friend zone", but I'm a girl and I've pretended I only saw my bf as a friend until he suddenly kissed me...
He knew I was just being shy and silly (awww! next month we'll be together for 2 years! yay!)
So... go and get her.

 

[Mr. Doe]

Snip

Do you mind if I ask you how old you are? i'm only asking because I doubt very much that you are truly in love. Your in love with the idea that there's someone who likes all the same stuff as you.Love isn't simply having all the boxes checked off in your list of perfect qualities. People are more complex than that. I honestly believe that you like this girl a lot but if you plan to pursue her do not tell her that you love her because that will come off as insincere and she will probably throw you the "I don't see you that way" line. She will rationally, logically and correctly ask her self why would he love me when we haven't experienced any interections as a couple. Love develops it doesn't jsut happen.

I will be Eighteen next month but I can assure you that I acknowledge and actually embrace her flaws along with her good qualities and during the first year of aquaintanceship I did not feel the same way about her that I do now but as we spent more time with each other I developed more complex and deep feeling for her so much so that I started to alter my at that point set in stone plans.

 

[tassyk]

Yes, ask her out. I can think of a fair few guys who I was friends with, who I KNEW were at least a bit interested, who I would have given it a go with, had they asked. But they NEVER did. Ahhh well. The one who did ask is still with me after 3 years, so I guess it went well.

It sounds like you're already hanging out one on one, so asking her out is a bit redundant. How bout next time you're out having coffee or whatever you crazy kids are getting up to these days, just say, "Hey Mary-Sue, I really like you. I would kinda like to be more than just friends." Just be prepared for it to be totally awkward for a bit if she says no.

And also, whats up with all these people ragging on love pre-18? You have some of your most intense loves pre-18, all the hormones make it a far more potent, obsessive kind of feeling. And the angst. Oh, the angst...

 

[Acier]

I would ask her out. Just something short, fun, and casual.

But here's a warning

DO NOT SAY YOU LOVE HER.
I have had this said to me by guys before, and if you haven't been in a steady relationship for a relatively substantial amount of time it will freak her out. Keep those feelings to yourself for a while.

And as far as a "Friend Zone" is concerned. It isn't real, there are boys I've known for years who if they asked me out I wouldn't hesitate to accept. I could elaborate, but I won't. Basically, if you have any vestige of romantic chemistry you have a chance. If she doesn't like you, it isn't because you waited for so long it's because she just plain doesn't like you in *that* way. It can't be forced, sorry.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

So fellow escapists. Im very certain Im in love with this girl I know, weve spent alot of time together over the past two years and Ive bought her lunch quite a few times we have alot in common(she doesnt like "nerdy" stuff though.) But even though Ive caught her looking at me with a weird kind of smile (The same kind I get when I look at her) but shes never really said anything with a clear message. I dont know if now is a good time to say something as she just got out of a relationship with a huge D-Bag and Im kind of emotionally crippled. (because the first girl I ever tried to have anything more than freindship with ended up blowing my older brother within ten minutes of meeting him and that prevented me from attempting that again for about two years.) But on that very same hand Ive never been in a relationship or even gotten to hand holding for that matter. Whereas she isnt as unexperienced (which Im fine with but Im not sure if she is.) I just want to know if any of you other people on the forums have relevent advice or opinions.

You should definitely make proper use of apostrophe's in words such as "I'm" and "I've". Chicks totally dig that.

OT and not being a jackass: Avoid the friends zone. Take a risk, make a move and see what happens - girls get the impression you are not interested very quickly. From a man who has been in the exact same situation as you multiple times that is the best advice I can give.

 

[clipse15]

Snip

Do you mind if I ask you how old you are? i'm only asking because I doubt very much that you are truly in love. Your in love with the idea that there's someone who likes all the same stuff as you.Love isn't simply having all the boxes checked off in your list of perfect qualities. People are more complex than that. I honestly believe that you like this girl a lot but if you plan to pursue her do not tell her that you love her because that will come off as insincere and she will probably throw you the "I don't see you that way" line. She will rationally, logically and correctly ask her self why would he love me when we haven't experienced any interections as a couple. Love develops it doesn't jsut happen.

I will be Eighteen next month but I can assure you that I acknowledge and actually embrace her flaws along with her good qualities and during the first year of aquaintanceship I did not feel the same way about her that I do now but as we spent more time with each other I developed more complex and deep feeling for her so much so that I started to alter my at that point set in stone plans.

Ya but you haven't experienced this development as a couple and what your describing is more of a sense of infatuation. trust me it can seem like love now but you two haven't experienced anything that would test that love. Everything you talk about is too calculated love is chaotic. If you do decide to pursue this girl just remember to start small like a date to a movie or something.

 

[NoblePhilistineFox]

100 bucks says you're more in love with the idea of being in love than with the actual person herself. Happens all the time and especially to people with no hard experience with relationships.

Ill take a piece of that action, im pitching 50 bucks hes only imagining that shes looking at him funny.

Go forth, my child! Conquer, stuff and mount your trophy!

yes,
just, just yes.
*hugs you*

OT:
I say you go for it, act shy and meak and youre in ^_^
dont come straight out and pour your heart out, thats a bad idea from the get-go.
take her out to coffee, then halfway through say with something like "so, *[insert name here]*, tell me the truth, what do you think of me?"
and if she blushes or averts her then she knows whats up, and depending on what she is like she might say what you want to say.
also, how old are you guys?
because this might work if youre like 22-30 ish, but if youre only like 14-17 then my advice to you would be...

I say go back to the blowjob chick bro.

because if thats the case, you need a release and NOT a serious relationship.

 

[luke10123]

To be honest, you'll always look back with regret if you don't - it's a mistake i've made and i've regretted it everyday since

 

[Mr. Doe]

Snip

Snap

Ya but you haven't experienced this development as a couple and what your describing is more of a sense of infatuation. trust me it can seem like love now but you two haven't experienced anything that would test that love. Everything you talk about is too calculated love is chaotic. If you do decide to pursue this girl just remember to start small like a date to a movie or something.

The fact that it sounds Calculated is probably me saying it wrong and yeah I guess youre right about not being tested except that I got drunk dialed by a girl I know and that brought up "unfortunate implications" while The Girl I have these feelings for was in a relationship and I was in a massive funk (I hadnt been out of the house in six months for anything but work) but despite my funk and apparently an out bridge on the road of love I denied. So I guess I have been tested but She hasnt and thats partly because she doesnt know I like her.

 

[Burningsok]

BonsaiK is your man

But since I want to add a bit more substance, I'll say what I think.

I doubt it will go well. From what it sounds like, you're in the "friend zone". She only views you as a friend, and if you ever hit it off, it will be because you'll be there for her at a difficult time in her life and she will trick herself into loving you as a defense mechanism.

I'd give it up if I were you.

OT: I've always wanted to ask; whats with the pineapple on your avatar lol

 

[Grey_Focks]

Ask her out, but whatever you do, don't just blurt out "I love you!" when asking her out. I really don't mean to sound like an asshole, but you sound like your young, and very unexpierienced when it comes to relationships. Don't tell her you love her until you are 110% sure, as that can REALLY freak girls out. That, and it makes you sound a little desperate.

Oh, and dude, I just read some of the above posts....your in the friend-zone. You do not know just how difficult that will make asking this girl out. Also, be advised that asking her out/ telling her you love can potentially kill the friendship, and from what I gather, she's a good friend. Is that really worth risking?

 

[Cherry Cola]

girls get the impression you are not interested very quickly.

And since he's known this girl for 2 years, I take it the train has already left a looooong time ago.

BonsaiK is your man

But since I want to add a bit more substance, I'll say what I think.

I doubt it will go well. From what it sounds like, you're in the "friend zone". She only views you as a friend, and if you ever hit it off, it will be because you'll be there for her at a difficult time in her life and she will trick herself into loving you as a defense mechanism.

I'd give it up if I were you.

OT: I've always wanted to ask; whats with the pineapple on your avatar lol

It's a symbol for tasty tasty love.

And the user group Priate.

But mostly tasty love

 

[_Cake_]

It's been 2 years, If she wanted you, you were right there. Personally I find it creepy when a guy pretends to be your friend when he wants more. It feels like the friendship was phony, like he was faking it the whole time.

IF YOU LIKE A GIRL TELL HER RIGHT AWAY!