Poll: Im in love?

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Mr. Doe

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Grey_Focks said:
Ask her out, but whatever you do, don't just blurt out "I love you!" when asking her out. I really don't mean to sound like an asshole, but you sound like your young, and very unexpierienced when it comes to relationships. Don't tell her you love her until you are 110% sure, as that can REALLY freak girls out. That, and it makes you sound a little desperate.

Oh, and dude, I just read some of the above posts....your in the friend-zone. You do not know just how difficult that will make asking this girl out. Also, be advised that asking her out/ telling her you love can potentially kill the friendship, and from what I gather, she's a good friend. Is that really worth risking?
Being as desperate as I am I turned down what Im pretty sure was an offer for Sexual intercourse so she means enough to me that I turned down everyone elses goal in life for the slimmest chance to be with her. and I know better than to just Shout "I love you." I may be emotionally crippled but I still gratuated with a regents diploma and enough freinds to start my own Jazz orchestra.
 

clipse15

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Mr. Doe said:
clipse15 said:
Mr. Doe said:
clipse15 said:
Snap
Ya but you haven't experienced this development as a couple and what your describing is more of a sense of infatuation. trust me it can seem like love now but you two haven't experienced anything that would test that love. Everything you talk about is too calculated love is chaotic. If you do decide to pursue this girl just remember to start small like a date to a movie or something.
The fact that it sounds Calculated is probably me saying it wrong and yeah I guess youre right about not being tested except that I got drunk dialed by a girl I know and that brought up "unfortunate implications" while The Girl I have these feelings for was in a relationship and I was in a massive funk (I hadnt been out of the house in six months for anything but work) but despite my funk and apparently an out bridge on the road of love I denied. So I guess I have been tested but She hasnt and thats partly because she doesnt know I like her.
But ya like I said love develops between two people have you had any intimate interactions? Just the two of you? I still stand by what i said and call this infatuation. By all means pursue her sooner than later but again start small. Also you must ask yourself do you "love" this girl enough to possibly lose her? say if you ask her out and you get cockblocked by the friendzone would you be able to let her go?
 

Mr. Doe

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clipse15 said:
But ya like I said love develops between two people have you had any intimate interactions? Just the two of you? I still stand by what i said and call this infatuation. By all means pursue her sooner than later but again start small. Also you must ask yourself do you "love" this girl enough to possibly lose her? say if you ask her out and you get cockblocked by the friendzone would you be able to let her go?
Well if things dont work out and I get Friendzoned than I would probably just be her friend and harbor these feelings in secret and be happy that shes happy. Then Id join the armed forces and die or whatever.
 

Grey_Focks

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Mr. Doe said:
Being as desperate as I am I turned down what Im pretty sure was an offer for Sexual intercourse so she means enough to me that I turned down everyone elses goal in life for the slimmest chance to be with her. and I know better than to just Shout "I love you." I may be emotionally crippled but I still gratuated with a regents diploma and enough freinds to start my own Jazz orchestra.
Well, okay man, but that doesn't change the fact that this will presumably be your first committed relationship, and if things turn south, you would still be losing what looks like a great friend. I stand by saying this doesn't sound like a good idea.

And a Jazz Orchestra? I'd love to see that, haven't seen one in years.
 

Lust

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Mr. Doe said:
clipse15 said:
But ya like I said love develops between two people have you had any intimate interactions? Just the two of you? I still stand by what i said and call this infatuation. By all means pursue her sooner than later but again start small. Also you must ask yourself do you "love" this girl enough to possibly lose her? say if you ask her out and you get cockblocked by the friendzone would you be able to let her go?
Well if things dont work out and I get Friendzoned than I would probably just be her friend and harbor these feelings in secret and be happy that shes happy. Then Id join the armed forces and die or whatever.
That's the spirit...............At least give it a try, you never know what might happen. I held my feelings inside once. Still regret it................*exhales*........Oh well..................

.....Just go for it!
 

ilion

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Aug 20, 2009
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Just go for it no regrets. However dont think love begins with a long time relationship or having the same interests or some shit. Love is like doing the wise choice at the wrong times, honest and selfless, and only devoted if the other side also cooperates, it begins in you and ends in you, the same with hate and disappointment. Be brave, be strong, you not emotionally crippled man, you re just young.
 

Stormz

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The friend zone doesn't exist. If you're really good friends but she's not interested, she wouldn't have been interested even if she wasn't your friend. So don't listen to that stuff.

I agree with the people saying go for it. You'll never know how she feels if you never ask. I'd still maybe wait a bit though if she just got out of a bad relationship.
 

Lyri

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Mr. Doe said:
So fellow escapists. Im very certain Im in love with this girl I know, weve spent alot of time together over the past two years and Ive bought her lunch quite a few times we have alot in common(she doesnt like "nerdy" stuff though.) But even though Ive caught her looking at me with a weird kind of smile (The same kind I get when I look at her) but shes never really said anything with a clear message. I dont know if now is a good time to say something as she just got out of a relationship with a huge D-Bag and Im kind of emotionally crippled. (because the first girl I ever tried to have anything more than freindship with ended up blowing my older brother within ten minutes of meeting him and that prevented me from attempting that again for about two years.) But on that very same hand Ive never been in a relationship or even gotten to hand holding for that matter. Whereas she isnt as unexperienced (which Im fine with but Im not sure if she is.) I just want to know if any of you other people on the forums have relevent advice or opinions.
Just go for it, for gods sake.

You clearly care enough to ask on an online forum, you probably care enough to tell the girl.
It'll either go to sucksville or you'll come out bouncin' like a baller with a shawty on your arm.

Old saying "Life is to short" because honestly, it is.
Go nuts.
 

vento 231

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Mr. Doe said:
So fellow escapists. Im very certain Im in love with this girl I know, weve spent alot of time together over the past two years and Ive bought her lunch quite a few times we have alot in common(she doesnt like "nerdy" stuff though.) But even though Ive caught her looking at me with a weird kind of smile (The same kind I get when I look at her) but shes never really said anything with a clear message. I dont know if now is a good time to say something as she just got out of a relationship with a huge D-Bag and Im kind of emotionally crippled. (because the first girl I ever tried to have anything more than freindship with ended up blowing my older brother within ten minutes of meeting him and that prevented me from attempting that again for about two years.) But on that very same hand Ive never been in a relationship or even gotten to hand holding for that matter. Whereas she isnt as unexperienced (which Im fine with but Im not sure if she is.) I just want to know if any of you other people on the forums have relevent advice or opinions.
I am very sorry to tell you, but a study (I'll see if I can find it) says that most relationships need to start from an aquatence, then skip friend stage and go into dating, girls like their friends to be friends and dates to be dates, not in between you know.
 

Mr Montmorency

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tassyk said:
Yes, ask her out. I can think of a fair few guys who I was friends with, who I KNEW were at least a bit interested, who I would have given it a go with, had they asked. But they NEVER did.
When why the fuck didn't you ask? No wonder this guy is shitting himself.
 

Urgh76

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Gralian said:
Go for it, but beware of entering 'the friend zone'

If that happens, you're screwed.
This man speaks the truth!

Unfortunately.......... :(
 

AXAXION

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Jun 30, 2010
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Mr.Doe this should make your decision really simple, think about what you want and go for it. If you are truly in love, would you be able to live the rest of your life knowing that you could've told her how you feel? Because no matter how you look at it if you dont go for it you will just look back and be kicking yourself later if you dont tell her.

Whether you are in the friend zone or not it doesnt matter, you either take the leap and get shot down or you take the leap and fly, and if you get shot down you just have to pick yourself up of the ground and keep searching for the right one. The thing is you will never know if you never try.

By what i can tell in your posts you really care for her, there are subtle ways of confirming this, Ask her out to lunch or dinner or movies and see what her reaction is. Start a study group etc, do something to allow you to spend more time with her.

Love is worth the sacrifice (especially if it's true love)
 

Mr. Doe

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vento 231 said:
Mr. Doe said:
So fellow escapists. Im very certain Im in love with this girl I know, weve spent alot of time together over the past two years and Ive bought her lunch quite a few times we have alot in common(she doesnt like "nerdy" stuff though.) But even though Ive caught her looking at me with a weird kind of smile (The same kind I get when I look at her) but shes never really said anything with a clear message. I dont know if now is a good time to say something as she just got out of a relationship with a huge D-Bag and Im kind of emotionally crippled. (because the first girl I ever tried to have anything more than freindship with ended up blowing my older brother within ten minutes of meeting him and that prevented me from attempting that again for about two years.) But on that very same hand Ive never been in a relationship or even gotten to hand holding for that matter. Whereas she isnt as unexperienced (which Im fine with but Im not sure if she is.) I just want to know if any of you other people on the forums have relevent advice or opinions.
I am very sorry to tell you, but a study (I'll see if I can find it) says that most relationships need to start from an aquatence, then skip friend stage and go into dating, girls like their friends to be friends and dates to be dates, not in between you know.
Yeah I think I read that study but thats a broad generalization and I usually fall into the Minority on those so Im hoping that My situation can fall into the percentage that didnt skip the friend stage.
 

spartan231490

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Jan 14, 2010
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Mr. Doe said:
So fellow escapists. Im very certain Im in love with this girl I know, weve spent alot of time together over the past two years and Ive bought her lunch quite a few times we have alot in common(she doesnt like "nerdy" stuff though.) But even though Ive caught her looking at me with a weird kind of smile (The same kind I get when I look at her) but shes never really said anything with a clear message. I dont know if now is a good time to say something as she just got out of a relationship with a huge D-Bag and Im kind of emotionally crippled. (because the first girl I ever tried to have anything more than freindship with ended up blowing my older brother within ten minutes of meeting him and that prevented me from attempting that again for about two years.) But on that very same hand Ive never been in a relationship or even gotten to hand holding for that matter. Whereas she isnt as unexperienced (which Im fine with but Im not sure if she is.) I just want to know if any of you other people on the forums have relevent advice or opinions.
How long ago did she break up, it would prolly be polite to wait until she is at least somewhat over it. That said, that could be about 5 seconds after it was over, depends on the girl and the situation. However, as someone who has repeatedly failed to step up for one reason or another, you will really regret it if you never ask her. Just tell her that ur a little emotionally fucked up, if you've been friends that long she prolly knows why, but that u still want to give it a try. She will or she won't, but if you never ask she never will.
 

Mr. Doe

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Aug 15, 2009
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llAVALANCHEll said:
Mr. Doe said:
CITIZEN SNIIIIIIPS!

I reluctantly advise you to go for it. I am hesitant to tell you to do so, as a very similar situation was presented to me about two months ago. Let's just say that I knew this girl for two years, she seemed to have romantic feelings towards me, and she was about to leave; long story short, I poured my heart out, and for two years worth of unrequited affection, I got this:

[My Name],

I was suprised by what you gave me...it was sweet...and I thank you for your kind words and incredible thoughtfulness.
Though, I'm sorry that I cannot return your feelings, [My Name]. However, consider my friendship yours.

[Her Name]


Nevertheless, if I could go back, I would do it again, so I think you should go for it; however, do yourself a favor don't end up an emotionally crippled shell of a human being like me.
Im already Emotionally crippled but Im trying to get better throught Emotional physical therapy.(read:putting myself back out there) But Im not yet a shell of a human being so thanks for the advice and sucks what happened for you dude.
 

spartan231490

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Mr. Doe said:
Manicotti said:
100 bucks says you're more in love with the idea of being in love than with the actual person herself. Happens all the time and especially to people with no hard experience with relationships.

You want advice, go find out more about this person - or at least tell us more, because there's something about her that you either don't know or are afraid to admit. Figure out if what you two have in common is more important than what you don't, and if it isn't, then forget about a future with her. Better to break your heart yourself, now, than to have someone else do it later with less mercy when you actually have something to lose.
Get ready to fork over the dough than. This Girl and I have a deep interpersonal connection strong enough to override 2 and 1/2 years of me telling myself "Im no good for anyone just get to 18 join the Military and die." Shes funny, quirky, unique and beautiful we have a similar sense of humor, We like the same foods, we're both artistic and we are both of Scots ancestry. And we're both pale enough to make Marilyn Manson tell us to go outside.
That right there is some hard core cynisism. And i would ignore it, that's just me.