Poll: Is Sex Actually Loving Someone?

[DrgoFx]

Alright Escapist, here is my question for all of you:

Is sex a loving or just pleasuring act?

I was watching several episodes of the Maury Show, and several cases dealing with cheating a lie detector tests interested me. The men were asked three question.

"Do you love your partner?"
"Have you cheated on your partner at all?"
"Have you cheated on your partner recently?"

The first one almost every time was yes and was the truth. However, every single time that question was thrown out the window when it was made fact that they cheated. So a question came to my mind: What is going on through their heads? I formed a theory, but only a theory. In the cases the men said "I love her." they had no long term affairs, all were short bursts of pleasure. At the same time, they showed love and affection towards their family. This makes me wonder if these men think sex is wrong or not when in a relationship.

It is a possibility that they don't see these sexual acts as cheating or acts of love, but rather just...sexual pleasure. They love one woman and they can only commit to one woman. In my honest opinion based off of this theory, they are being hurt more from the break up then the woman is from their cheating.

I personally can not do one night stands, I find nothing fun about them. I only find it meaningful to do it with that person you love. So I ask you Escapist, does having sex with someone mean you love them...?

EDIT: Let me ask you this Escapist, if sex does not equal love, then is cheating alright if the person is just after sexual pleasure and still loves their partner?

 

[Soviet Steve]

Sex is just a pleasuring act, how you choose to structure your sex life in relation to your love life is up to you.

 

[Nemu]

I think the answer will be different for the individual, because people measure sex differently. Some equate sex with love, others have sex as part of the whole experience of loving their partner.

Of course other folks are just DTF.

I'm not the DTF type. ;D

 

[Shadowstar38]

Sex is merely a biological function. People make the mistake of interperting that as love.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Sex is merely a biological function. People make the mistake of interperting that as love.

Implying that love isn't a biological function.


There's sex, and there's making love.

As with most things, context is everything.

 

[neonsword13-ops]

Nope.

It CAN be, but no usually.

Look at hormone crazy teens, they don't know how to love for shit.

 

[silverpimp]

"Where there is sexing, there shall be loving."

- Alexander Hamilton

 

[CrystalShadow]

Sex =/= love.

This is a fairly basic fact that somehow eludes a lot of men in particular.

The feelings associated with wanting to have sex with someone are quite independent of being in love, which in and of itself is not necessarily the same as loving someone.
(Love is a pretty loaded term in the English language anyway. You love your children, but you aren't in love with them. You should love your neighbours, but that's not the same as loving your husband. And to say you love chicken is something quite different again.)

Now, if you're in love with someone you probably do want to have sex with them.
But the reverse is much less likely to be true.

In short, I very much doubt having sex with someone means you love them. And it seems for men in particular, it doesn't even mean you like them at all in any sense.
Yeah... Sex is messed up like that. >_>

 

[shadyh8er]

So I ask you Escapist, does having sex with someone mean you love them...?

Oh of course not. Well, not all the time. From what I've heard, there actually is a difference between casual sex and doing it with someone you love. The emotional aspect is what that difference is.

I admit, I'm guilty of fantasizing about different girls in my college. I have, however, noticed that it's a lot better with the ones that I really care about than with those whom I don't.

Captcha: babots appears

Is that a new Pokemon?

 

[Ritter315]

Sex is love. We're often desensitized to sexual activity the same way we've become desensitized to violence, in the sense that in our own minds we're fine with it unti we actually encounter it. Thats my take on it anyways.

 

[Nargleblarg]

In short no, in long terms noooooooooooooooooooooo.

The compassionate and interpersonal feelings toward another that can last decades is not the same as a one night stand.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I personally can not do one night stands, I find nothing fun about them. I only find it meaningful to do it with that person you love.

I think this might describe you:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demisexuality

Sex is just a pleasuring act, how you choose to structure your sex life in relation to your love life is up to you.

My opinion's basically that, although I'd probably put it in more cynical terms.

 

[plugav]

Sex and love are, quite obviously, two very different things and I suppose cheating on your partner doesn't always mean that you don't love them. It does, however, mean that you're not fully commited - you want all the benefits that a steady relationship gives, but aren't willing to make the sacrifices it requires.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

(Delicious poll)

No, but it should be.
It sickens me how guys act about it, espicially if one party is convinced it's love.

 

[Kargathia]

The nice thing with "love" is that everyone interprets it as they see fit. Whether your personal interpretation runs along the same lines as your sexual desire is completely up to you.

On the practical side of things it's usually nice to realise that significant others tend not to appreciate you having sex with anyone besides them and your own hand.

Some even mind the competition from your hand. Get them therapy. Really.

 

[Vegosiux]

Sex can be either pleasuring, or loving, or both, or neither. It really depends.

Yes, I just said sex can even be/feel like a chore. *shiver*

 

[Ieyke]

Sex can be purely about pleasure, or it can be a powerful expression of love....or it can be somewhere in between. Or it can be neither.

Simple as that.


Personally, I couldn't bring myself to have sex with someone I didn't love and I'd see cheating on someone I love as massively wrong, but that's me. Other people have no issue here. Some people will have sex with anyone that has a pulse and have absolutely no emotional importance tied to that person.
And there are people whose opinions span every shade in between.

 

[Pimppeter2]

"Do you love your partner?"

Yes, I love her more than I could have ever imagined. We have sex, and we make love. They're not always mutually exclusive events. We have lots of fun crazy wild things and then again sometimes we just make love. We share each-other and kiss and explore and have fun being in love. Its hard to explain, but while sex isn't always necessarily love making, love making ins't always necessarily sex either.

You'd know if you've experienced it, basically.

"Have you cheated on your partner at all?"

No, never have and never will. I could never hurt her like that. I could never hurt anyone like that. I've been cheated on, and I've been tempted to cheat, but I never never never would. Especially since I know how much it would destroy what we have.

"Have you cheated on your partner recently?"

No. Look above

So I ask you Escapist, does having sex with someone mean you love them...?

No. But it could mean that. This is a silly question.

Let me ask you this Escapist, if sex does not equal love, then is cheating alright if the person is just after sexual pleasure and still loves their partner?

No, this is just a stupid question. If you've made a commitment, and that commitment specifically states that you will not share your self intimately with someone else, doesn't mean it doesn't apply to shallow pointless sex.

Basically, if your partner says its not okay. Then its not okay.

Who the fuck cares about semantics?

 

[rayen020]

No. in a nutshell no. However it is widely regarded that the act of Sex consummates a relationship. But yeah love is not required for sex, neither is sex required for love.