Poll: Is this sexist?
- Thread starter TheLefty
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The fact that you said your not letting a bunch of GIRLS made it sound sexist. But all you really meant was your not wanting people to pay for you. You just said it in the wrong context.
It's pretty sexist. If you were paying to be "polite", it wouldn't have been "I'm not letting a bunch of girls..." it would have been "I'm not letting my friends..." You said (a) as a result primarily of not wanting to go, and (b) phrased it as a question of gender. You can argue that you didn't actually mean it, since it was just an excuse, but your choice of reasons is telling. You could have gone with "I'm tired" or "I don't want to owe you", or "my pants are all on fire", but instead went with "I won't have a bunch of girls paying my admission".
The way you said it wasn't the best, but the principle isn't. I'm like you and wouldn't take money off of a girl, even though I'd obviously pay it back.
It's kind of like the don't hit a girl thing. That's not sexist - but I've met girls who insist I punch them as hard as I can (messing about obviously, but they still get annoyed when I say no).
It's kind of like the don't hit a girl thing. That's not sexist - but I've met girls who insist I punch them as hard as I can (messing about obviously, but they still get annoyed when I say no).
1. I think a little background as to why it was a heated argument that you weren't able to afford the haunted house might be in order.
2. Saying you won't accept charity isn't sexist. Specifically indicating that you wouldn't accept charity from "girls", is. If you meant that you weren't taking money from anyone, there was no need to indicate "girls".
3. Chivalry is many things, Duty to God, Country, and Women. Or fellow Christians, Countrymen, Fellow Man, and Women. A code of honor for Knights. As far as to women, and in a modern context, it is a default kindness and respect to women, even in an equal world. A man and woman get to a door at the same time, or the man in advance, chivalry is the man opening it for her. In a date where the man invites the woman, or mutual invitation, the man picks up the tab. Walking on the sidewalk, the man takes the streetside to shelter the woman from the traffic and splashes etc. If a woman is in need, helping her. Refusing to take money freely offered by someone, who could afford to give it to you, because they are a woman isn't chivalry, you're disrespecting them by saying their money is less valuable, or beneath you.
Yes, you say you wouldn't take money from anyone, and that the fact they are girls has no relevance. However, in your statement, you identified them as girls. You then attempt to cite chivalry, which would mean that being women was a consideration.
4. Appealing to "the internet" does no good. Not that you won't find people who agree with you, but no matter how many you do, it won't change the impact of your actions, or your friends' minds.
2. Saying you won't accept charity isn't sexist. Specifically indicating that you wouldn't accept charity from "girls", is. If you meant that you weren't taking money from anyone, there was no need to indicate "girls".
3. Chivalry is many things, Duty to God, Country, and Women. Or fellow Christians, Countrymen, Fellow Man, and Women. A code of honor for Knights. As far as to women, and in a modern context, it is a default kindness and respect to women, even in an equal world. A man and woman get to a door at the same time, or the man in advance, chivalry is the man opening it for her. In a date where the man invites the woman, or mutual invitation, the man picks up the tab. Walking on the sidewalk, the man takes the streetside to shelter the woman from the traffic and splashes etc. If a woman is in need, helping her. Refusing to take money freely offered by someone, who could afford to give it to you, because they are a woman isn't chivalry, you're disrespecting them by saying their money is less valuable, or beneath you.
Yes, you say you wouldn't take money from anyone, and that the fact they are girls has no relevance. However, in your statement, you identified them as girls. You then attempt to cite chivalry, which would mean that being women was a consideration.
4. Appealing to "the internet" does no good. Not that you won't find people who agree with you, but no matter how many you do, it won't change the impact of your actions, or your friends' minds.
No, I wouldn't consider it sexist. Now, if you had said wouldn't let a bunch of women instead of girls pay for it, then I could say otherwise and understand their frustration.
So few people actually listen to what is said, and instead listen more to perceived intentions.
If they honestly didn't think you were a sexist they would have asked for clarification first rather than jumped to the conclusion that they did.
The fact that they so quickly became defensive at this mishap is a strong indicator that they might not have held you in the highest regard to begin with.
There are two ways you can go; either try to patch things up, or just let them go. Neither one will be easy but patching thing up will more than likely save you a world of hurt down the line. Just admit your error, tell them what they want to hear, and apologize.
So few people actually listen to what is said, and instead listen more to perceived intentions.
If they honestly didn't think you were a sexist they would have asked for clarification first rather than jumped to the conclusion that they did.
The fact that they so quickly became defensive at this mishap is a strong indicator that they might not have held you in the highest regard to begin with.
There are two ways you can go; either try to patch things up, or just let them go. Neither one will be easy but patching thing up will more than likely save you a world of hurt down the line. Just admit your error, tell them what they want to hear, and apologize.
I can't. It makes us sound like powerups and therefor objects.TheRealCJ said:
I don't think he meant to be sexist it was just one of those saying something without thinking moments. I have those all the time and boy do they get me into some major trouble.Fallingwater said:
That's what happened. After refusing politely I was getting fed up.wadark said:
Not only would that have actually been sexist it would have won me a kick to the balls.ThePeiceOfEden said:No not really.
Just say you were going to let them save their money for new undies
Depends.. were you saying a girl's money isn't worthy of paying your entry fee, or that you feel you shouldn't be imposing upon a young lady to sub you the cash?
It's all in the delivery and the intention. As a general rule, if you think to yourself afterwards "that might have sounded sexist", it probably was.
It's all in the delivery and the intention. As a general rule, if you think to yourself afterwards "that might have sounded sexist", it probably was.
That's only part of it. Truthfully though money is really tight about my house and 30 bucks is A LOT for a stupid haunted house.happysock said:Us guys don't it like they do though
If you want to get out of it though just say your scared to go to the haunted house and wanted a reason to cover it upTeragRunner said:
At least if you use that one you might get pity from themTeragRunner said:That's only part of it. Truthfully though money is really tight about my house and 30 bucks is A LOT for a stupid haunted house.happysock said:Us guys don't it like they do though
If you want to get out of it though just say your scared to go to the haunted house and wanted a reason to cover it upTeragRunner said:
Yes, extremly. I'm pretty sure that is on the list of sexist no-nos that men should avoid ever voicing however right they may be.
there is nothing wrong with wanting to safeguard your masculinity, however you could have been more tactiful about it, maybe playing yourself down rather than saying what you did.