Poll: jokes

[Knight Templar]

so put down your jokes and rate the joke for a COMBINED score
but befor yours heres mine-
(jane walks in on jhon)
Jane: "Jhon what are you doing here? Are ..are you stalking me Jhon?"
Jhon: "Don't be rediclious Jane, i'm just pasing through."
Jane: "Jhon we're in my bathroom."
Jhon: "Jane do you know you talk in your sleep?"
END

what do you think? i made it myself. well post your own, but remember no rasist or old jokes like why did the chiken cross ect. or any thing along the likes of a black man walks into a bar. we've all hear them and this is not the place for that. but otherwise give your jokes and say if you made them up, oh and rate them all together

 

[Larenxis]

I really hope that's not observational humour.

 

[ChrisP.Lettuce]

A man and a woman are talking:

Woman: If I died, would your remarry?
Man: No
Woman: Why? Aren't you happy being married?
Man: Fine, I would remarry.
Woman: Would you live in the same house?
Man: Probably?
Woman: Would you sleep in the same bed?
Man: Why not? It's a perfectly good bed.
Woman: Would you drive the same car?
Man: It would be a waste to sell it.
Woman: Would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: No, she's left handed.
Woman: ....
Man: ...Shit.


I picked this one up a long time ago, I didn't make it.

 

[Hey Joe]

Q: Why did George crash the plane?

A: Because George was a potato

 

[Copter400]

Two dog owners are arguing in the park about whose dog is better. The first owner says, 'My dog is so smart, every morning he goes down to the shops, buys the newspaper and brings it to me with my slippers and a fresh cup of coffee.'
The second owner says, 'I know.'
'How?'
'My dog told me.'

 

[Easykill]

I prefer stuff that's like what happened here: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.53312

 

[TSED]

I really hope that's not observational humour.

Funniest thing in the thread. Not much competition, though.


To add my own blather which shan't up the comedic quality:
Descartes walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Hey, wanna drink?"
Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.

 

[qbert4ever]

Best one I have is from south park. "why did the rooster cross the road? To have sex with the chicken."

 

[Easykill]

How did those chicken crossing jokes even start? And if you say "your mom" I will destroy you.

 

[Knight Templar]

How did those chicken crossing jokes even start? And if you say "your mom" I will destroy you.

narr no you wont, ya mum will

 

[PurpleRain]

Two men walk into a bar. Then one of them takes the other out back and rapes him. And then kills him. And then kills himself over the regret. Then his mum dies of canser nine days later without her son by her bedside. She dies alone.

 

[Easykill]

...What....The....Fuck...Was...That?
Explain, Purplerain.

Hey, it rhymes!

 

[ChrisP.Lettuce]

Guess what!? You're a poet and didn't know it!

 

[Easykill]

Guess what!?

You're a poet
and didn't know it!

There, I fixed it for you.

 

[Anarchemitis]

A Guy and a girl walk into a room.

 

[PurpleRain]

...What....The....Fuck...Was...That?
Explain, Purplerain.

I made it up on the spot. Don't worry, the mother was a ***** and deserved it, if that makes you feel better

 

[Easykill]

Oh, that's not what was concerning me, it's that you spelled cancer as canser.

Edit: In case you were wondering, that was an intentionally bad joke meant to lower the score. Because I'm a dick like that.

 

[Spleenbag]

Oh, that's not what was concerning me, it's that you spelled cancer as canser.

Edit: In case you were wondering, that was an intentionally bad joke meant to lower the score. Because I'm a dick like that.

Why a dick like that and not the other one?

 

[Spleenbag]

A man walks into a bar. How, you say? Noclipping.

Crap brought to you by excessive Gmod playing.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

They call me Hadouken.....'cause I'm down right Fierce.

What did Ryu say when Ken told him he was dumb?

http://ryukenjokelol.ytmnd.com/