Poll: jokes
- Thread starter Knight Templar
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This is a joke I found on Comedy Central's website:
A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
I learned this one last summer, from a kid who had a pretty good fake Russian accent. Just imagine it being read in a Russian voice:
Here is joke from Russia.
There is capitalist; he is in Soviet Russia.
KGB finds him; they ask him "what is capitalist doing in Soviet Russia?" and he doesn't answer.
They take him to secret dungeon and ask him again: "what is capitalist doing in Soviet Russia?" and he still doesn't answer.
So they break off all his fingers!
HahahahahahahaSTOP!
Here is joke from Russia.
There is capitalist; he is in Soviet Russia.
KGB finds him; they ask him "what is capitalist doing in Soviet Russia?" and he doesn't answer.
They take him to secret dungeon and ask him again: "what is capitalist doing in Soviet Russia?" and he still doesn't answer.
So they break off all his fingers!
HahahahahahahaSTOP!
[quote/]To add my own blather which shan't up the comedic quality:
Descartes walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Hey, wanna drink?"
Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.[/quote]
Hey thats a good one.
Descartes walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Hey, wanna drink?"
Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.[/quote]
Hey thats a good one.
Well it worked fine the first time. Anyway I made this up, tell me what u think.PurpleRain said:Yeah... well... my C button on my keyboard doesn't work so I had to use an S instead.Easykill said:Oh, that's not what was concerning me, it's that you spelled cancer as canser.
What do you call a Vietnamese Turkey?
Gobbledygook.
Superman is flying by and sees wonder woman sunbathing naked on a roof.
He thinks to himself why not i'm faster than a speeding bullet.
So he flies down fucks her and is gone before she knows what happened.
Wonder woman yells "What the hell was that."
The invisable man says. "I don't know but my ass is killing me."
He thinks to himself why not i'm faster than a speeding bullet.
So he flies down fucks her and is gone before she knows what happened.
Wonder woman yells "What the hell was that."
The invisable man says. "I don't know but my ass is killing me."
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Elephino.
Now someone ask me if I'm a truck.
"Are you a truck?"
No.
Elephino.
Now someone ask me if I'm a truck.
"Are you a truck?"
No.
This isn't a joke but a cool riddle my friend told me.
A women goes to her mom's funeral and meets this incredible man there. He is perfect, and it's love at first sight. The next day the women realizes she didn't get the guys number and doesn't know his name. Next week she kills her sister, why did she do it? (If you figure this out you have the mind of a serial killer.)
Answer-She wanted to go to another funeral so she can meet the guy again.
A women goes to her mom's funeral and meets this incredible man there. He is perfect, and it's love at first sight. The next day the women realizes she didn't get the guys number and doesn't know his name. Next week she kills her sister, why did she do it? (If you figure this out you have the mind of a serial killer.)
Answer-She wanted to go to another funeral so she can meet the guy again.
What did the robot say to the centipede?
Stop being a centipede!
Its funny cause the robot has got no arms.
Stop being a centipede!
Its funny cause the robot has got no arms.