Poll: Looking for real advice not moral zealots

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Mana Fiend

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Jun 8, 2009
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To be honest, it sounds like you've already made up your mind. All I can say is that you should probably in no way seem too eager about it in front of the fiancee or the other girl. That's where the drama could come in.

The rest, I'm staying out of commenting on.
 

Russian_Assassin

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Apr 24, 2008
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Don't plan. Just flow with it and see where it takes you. If I were you, I wouldn't hesitate, but that's just me.
 

VitalSigns

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May 20, 2009
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Uncompetative said:
No moral zealots, eh? Well you certainly won't want to hear what I have to say...

You have a fiancee. Therefore you are engaged. The whole point of an engagement is to see if you can be faithful and monogamous.

No exceptions. No girlfriend-is-okay-with-it loopholes.

She isn't your girlfriend.

Comprehend?

Now, as a matter of fact I am not a moral zealot. In fact, I have no morals at all. I am an Atheist and I don't believe in anything. However, it really irritates me that jerks like you wank off about 'getting married', expecting everyone around you to be in awe of how grown-up you are to enter a sacred covenant under the eyes of the Lord when in fact you can't even keep it in your pants during the engagement.

By the way, the girl that wants to get involved in a threesome with your fiancee could be either:

- trying to get her foot-in-the-door-before-it-closes and set herself up as your mistress

or:

- trying to get off with your fiancee, who knows you may find yourself kicked out of bed as they seriously get down to it

With any luck the condoms you use will break and they'll both turn up pregnant.
My Fiancee wants to be in a threesome. Both girls are on birth control. I believe sex when you are in love is far better, but sex also has a place outside of love. I would never cheat on my fiancee I do love her. She wants to do this just as much as I do. Believe it or not women have sexual thoughts. Also I know for a fact that the other girl is not looking to just screw around with my fiancee. Not everything is so Black and White, From what i've been told everyone involved is just taking it for what it is, one crazy night.
 

Rajin Cajun

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Sep 12, 2008
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Internet Kraken said:
Oh yeah.

Go ahead and jeopardize your marriage over a sexual experience that will most likely be awkward and embarrassing.
Exactly, is this even serious or just trolling?
 

furnatic

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Mar 28, 2009
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First off, I will open with the infamous phrase
"ITS A TRAP!!"

Seriously, don't do it. My wife and I had a threesome with her female friend and it bought more drama than it was worth.
 

VitalSigns

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May 20, 2009
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Rajin Cajun said:
Internet Kraken said:
Oh yeah.

Go ahead and jeopardize your marriage over a sexual experience that will most likely be awkward and embarrassing.
Exactly, is this even serious or just trolling?
No trolling involved. This is the only forum I use and I couldn't really ask friends for advice cause We don't want it getting around that this is possibly happening.
 
Apr 24, 2008
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Susan Arendt said:
-Other girl (the friend) said that any feelings she may have for me are under control and would not let this become a problem. (she could just be saying that however)

That, sir, is a flat-out lie. I'm sure she doesn't think she's lying, but she is. Threesomes only work when it is clear to all parties that the third person is the extra -- the couple is the couple, and the third wheel is, for want of a better word, disposable. It's about boundaries. If the girl is coming in with feelings for you, she has already passed those boundaries, and moving forward is simply asking for trouble.
A thousand times this. I admire your optimism, but I don't trust that this other girl isn't full of crap and can properly surpress her feelings for you. Infact I don't trust that your fiance would even like the reality of the threesome as much as just the idea of the threesome...I think she could end up resenting you for going along with it, or for seemingly enjoying the others girls company more than hers...or something else you wouldn't expect. I'm bitter, twisted and untrusting as a result of my experiences with women...so maybe you should ignore me.
 

Jimmydanger

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Oct 13, 2008
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Do it. The only way things get f'd up is if you screw it up. First make sure you talk to the other girl about it first make sure she is absolutely certain its cool. After that make sure all the parties involved know the ground rules. Whatever you do DO NOT "just let it happen." Make sure you know whats ok and whats not in terms of kissing, and whatnot. The biggest thing is make damn sure it all ends while your with your fiance and it should be ok.

The only time threesomes get weird is if someone is doing something they do not want to do. You didn't shove the idea on anyone so you're good there. If either one of them starts getting weird don't be afraid to make sure they're ok or to just abort the operation.
 

Lyri

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Dec 8, 2008
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VitalSigns said:
My Fiancee wants to be in a threesome. Both girls are on birth control. I believe sex when you are in love is far better, but sex also has a place outside of love. I would never cheat on my fiancee I do love her. She wants to do this just as much as I do. Believe it or not women have sexual thoughts. Also I know for a fact that the other girl is not looking to just screw around with my fiancee. Not everything is so Black and White, From what i've been told everyone involved is just taking it for what it is, one crazy night.
You seem too have a rational head on your shoulders, I'd say go and do it. Have an experiance half of the posters here will never get close too.

WrongSprite said:
Seriously though....this isn't exactly showing your loyalty to your fiance.

It's not worth it.
Chaps like him.
 

Cocal

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Feb 7, 2009
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Go with it, but if I where you I wouldn't because I think it would cause more harm the do good. But I think if everyone is cool with it, then go for it. But It may cause problems.
 

Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
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Drama only happens if people react stupidly to situations, so long as you have faith in the intelligence of everyone involved go nuts.
 

WrongSprite

Resident Morrowind Fanboy
Aug 10, 2008
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Wizzie said:
VitalSigns said:
My Fiancee wants to be in a threesome. Both girls are on birth control. I believe sex when you are in love is far better, but sex also has a place outside of love. I would never cheat on my fiancee I do love her. She wants to do this just as much as I do. Believe it or not women have sexual thoughts. Also I know for a fact that the other girl is not looking to just screw around with my fiancee. Not everything is so Black and White, From what i've been told everyone involved is just taking it for what it is, one crazy night.
You seem too have a rational head on your shoulders, I'd say go and do it. Have an experiance half of the posters here will never get close too.

WrongSprite said:
Seriously though....this isn't exactly showing your loyalty to your fiance.

It's not worth it.
Chaps like him.
Way to be an asshole. Reported.
 

Rajin Cajun

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Sep 12, 2008
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VitalSigns said:
Rajin Cajun said:
Internet Kraken said:
Oh yeah.

Go ahead and jeopardize your marriage over a sexual experience that will most likely be awkward and embarrassing.
Exactly, is this even serious or just trolling?
No trolling involved. This is the only forum I use and I couldn't really ask friends for advice cause We don't want it getting around that this is possibly happening.
Yet you will post about it on the internet asking for advice? Irony.
 

Shapsters

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Dec 16, 2008
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Oh shit man, how many opportunity like this come up? Although it seems from your responses, that you have already made up your mind.
 

VitalSigns

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May 20, 2009
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WrongSprite said:
Seriously though....this isn't exactly showing your loyalty to your fiance.

It's not worth it.
I consider "cheating" to be anything I do that I wouldn't tell my fiancee about, This was something we talked about, and agreed we both wanted to try. Therefore this has nothing to do with loyalty.
 

chefassassin2

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Jan 2, 2009
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I have no personal basis for answering this, but I do have experience from others. I read the question, and since it's a slow day here in the kitchen, chatted up my fellow cooking types. General consensus, with the exception of 1- No, don't do it. Out of the 5 guys talking, 4 of them were in a situation similar. They thought, along with their respective spouses/girlfriends, that it would be awesome, like a porn flick where everything looks and feels cool and awesome. Apparently it was not. It was either awkward, people's feelings were hurt due to jealousy that they were not aware existed beforehand, and in the case of 1 open-minded cook and his apparently very open-minded wife, a divorce came out of it because the other woman had feelings that she apparently said were under control. The woman interfered so much by calling and basically turning into a crazy person that his wife couldn't take it and bailed.
Now, the one exception. My prep cook said he had a threesome about a year ago, but it was his girlfriend and a woman they met at a club. He said it was awesome, but also that he knew he would never see the other woman again, so he went for it.
Take from this what you will. I say do what you want, I don't know all the details of you, your fiance, or the friend. If you're sure nothing bad will caome of it, do it and I'll raise a glass to you. If you decide not to, I will raise a glass regardless.