Poll: Non-Heterosexuality: A Possibly Unpopular Opinion

[Meggiepants]

No. There is a huge difference between stating your sexual preference and hurling insults. If someone states they are gay, they aren't doing so to inflict harm on others. If someone comes back with an ugly insult about gay people, they are purposefully trying to hurt another person.

We shouldn't have to shut up just to avoid insults. That's akin to saying to women, "don't wear revealing clothing, or you are asking for it when a guy rapes you."

Sorry, but I call bullshit.

The thing I don't understand is why, at all, people feel the need to go around telling everyone else on the internet their sexuality. Surely it would be better to known because of your views and intelligence, rather than just being labelled, "oh, he's one of them gays" kinda thing.

Why do people feel the need to say anything about themselves online? It's part of who they are.

I'm not a particularly open person, so I understand the uncomfortableness of being around people, even in a digital sense like on a forum, who share so many details about their life.

But I also don't think that just because someone is more open about themselves, I should be given the right to insult them just because they should know better than to be open. It's just common decency not to immediately insult someone for any reason whatsoever. You shouldn't have to worry about being insulted for saying something about yourself.

As a heterosexual, I wouldn't worry about posting about the fact that I am in a happy relationship with a man. I don't worry that people might say, "Ew, keep it to yourself lady! We don't want that hetero talk in here!" I find it sad that people do have to worry about sharing such things. It's that very idea that has kept GBLT people in the closet for so long. It's unfair.

 

[CaptainCrunch]

Legally speaking, it seems perfectly reasonable for LGBT people to include such a reference with their online identity. The First Amendment exists to protect this type of free speech. However, I think it's opening a can of worms that didn't really need to be looked into just yet.

Consider the fact that a lot of what composes the cultural identity of a LGBT person is doing something that is not accepted by many. Identifying oneself as being part of a counter-culture community isn't exactly fulfilling the subcultural identity, is it?

So, my answer is "it's fine by me if they do, but it seems kinda silly for this to be an issue in the first place."

 

[bobknowsall]

EDIT: also why is it necessary to state that you are gay/bi/straight.

If you're talking about what I said in my OP, it's because people can be very quick to dismiss a straight person's assessment of non-heterosexuality. It's a hasty thing to do, but I can understand why they might do it.

 

[bobknowsall]

Legally speaking, it seems perfectly reasonable for LGBT people to include such a reference with their identity. The First Amendment exists to protect this type of free speech. However, I think it's opening a can of worms that didn't really need to be looked into just yet.

Consider the fact that a lot of what composes the cultural identity of a LGBT person is doing something that is not accepted by many. Identifying oneself as being part of a counter-culture community isn't exactly fulfilling the subcultural identity, is it?

So, my answer is "it's fine by me if they do, but it seems kinda silly for this to be an issue in the first place."

Ah, you've gotta love the First Amendment. But I don't live in the States, so it has little significance to me.

Besides, we're not talking about forcing LGBT people to keep things secret. It's a personal decision, and one that shouldn't be connected to law or consititution.

And yes, it is silly that it's an issue. But, silly or not, it is still an issue that affects an awful lot of people.

 

[Orange Monkey]

Any gay man who's ever been on the internet once knows to keep his sexuality on the down low (myself included) but then it also depends on where they frequent. I like to think the people here at the escapist are some of the most open-minded people i've met on the web, but I still tend to keep my sexuality a secret unless it would help me argue a point better or something along those lines.
I mean mention it on somewhere like Youtube and your just inviting a wave of misguided hatred.

 

[ssbn732]

As to the question on the pole, I have to say yes.
Dont take this the wrong way however, I dont feel non-heteros should be harrassed just because they arnt scared to admit it, but its a physics law that every action has an equal and oposit reaction (pardon my lack of spellcheck, and my lack of spellcare), the same is true with life as a whole.

If you can deal with the "wah wah homo!", "*genaric non-streight insult* crap then it realy dosnt matter. Again, people shouldnt get insulted for not being streight but you cant expect to go "Hi im a homosexual" online or otherwise without 10 people jumping out of a bush, or through a stargate, or some magic tear in the space time continum and insulting you.

But, as stated above, your on the freakin internet, you probably learned to deal with it (and if not, your in for a rough ride)...
If you cant stand the heat, warp away from the sun.
/annoying_text_spam
*PS: Those of you that know the song, are now hearing Lady GaGa - Boys Boys Boys in your head*

 

[bobknowsall]

No. There is a huge difference between stating your sexual preference and hurling insults. If someone states they are gay, they aren't doing so to inflict harm on others. If someone comes back with an ugly insult about gay people, they are purposefully trying to hurt another person.

We shouldn't have to shut up just to avoid insults. That's akin to saying to women, "don't wear revealing clothing, or you are asking for it when a guy rapes you."

Sorry, but I call bullshit.

Call bullshit on me if you like, but don't start comparing my argument to the condoning of rape.

I said in my first post that a "perfect" world would allow people to freely discuss their sexuality online. But this is not a perfect world.

If shutting up to avoid insults works, then perhaps some people should try it. The people who hurl homophobic slurs are aggressive and belligerent, so it's best not to attract their attention. I mean, would you loudly announce your sexuality in a Southern trucker bar? You probably wouldn't, because the results would be overwhelmingly negative. The internet is pretty much the same. Support for LGBT people is sorely lacking. I don't like the situation, but that's just the way things are.

 

[Sephychu]

I'm straight myself, but to me, I see sexuality as something you cannot control, nor would you want too. You have to proud of what you are. Furthermore, I think that anyone of any sexuality should be able to state it on the internet without fear of backlash, and to tell them that they should deal with the backlash seems wrong, but that's the world we live in. One of prejudice and intolerance of difference. So while I'd like to say they should put the details anywhere without fear of backlash, the backlash is going to exist for a long time.

 

[bobknowsall]

Your really walking on a thin line with what your saying - you can't ask people to just hide their sexuality if it differs from what we define as "normal", and if the refuse to, than you really can*'t say "well they exposed themselves, they had it coming".

I guess I am walking on a thin line, but I actually want to make people think, as opposed to just ragging on Halo or Twilight. I'm not asking people to completely hide their sexuality - Just to keep quiet about it when they're liable to be verbally attacked for it.

On the otherh and, there are people, both homo- and heterosexual, that keep going on and on about their sexuality, practically rubbing their opinion into any face that can't get into cover fast enough. And those people are indeed annoying (especially when they accuse you of being intolerant, for talking back on them)

Yes, they are exceedingly annoying. They also make the rest ofthe LGBT community look bad, which is a right pain.

 

[bobknowsall]

No, because the default isn't agnosticism; you're persumed to be straight unless otherwise stated. Since you can't restrict it for everyone, don't restrict it. That's the argument that assumes it's ok the censor for the sake of argument.

That being said, telling people they can't pronounce their sexuality is as stupid as telling people they can't pronounce their gender or their race. Black people should stop flaunting their blackness, etc.

and a little point that's tangential. The internet has been a place you could pretty much say and do anything since the days of usenet, why would you want to change that? In the presence of a sensible moderator (IRC FTW) it's essentially a perfect system.

The internet is not completely moderated, so it remains imperfect.

Actually, your comment on race rather amuses me, because the situation couldn't be any different. Race-based insults will cause people to look down on you, whereas sexuality-based remarks are still widely accepted.

Think about it: Which is considered more offensive, the N-word or the F-word? (You know which one I'm talking about)

EDIT: I'm not saying that we are supposed to restrict anything. It's a personal choice, and I just expressed an interest in what people think of it.

 

[Wolf-AUS]

Why do people feel the need to say anything about themselves online? It's part of who they are.

I'm not a particularly open person, so I understand the uncomfortableness of being around people, even in a digital sense like on a forum, who share so many details about their life.

But I also don't think that just because someone is more open about themselves, I should be given the right to insult them just because they should know better than to be open. It's just common decency not to immediately insult someone for any reason whatsoever. You shouldn't have to worry about being insulted for saying something about yourself.

As a heterosexual, I wouldn't worry about posting about the fact that I am in a happy relationship with a man. I don't worry that people might say, "Ew, keep it to yourself lady! We don't want that hetero talk in here!" I find it sad that people do have to worry about sharing such things. It's that very idea that has kept GBLT people in the closet for so long. It's unfair.

I don't feel there's any real need to divulge personal information unless it's a direct question, even then you don't have to answer it.

For example, this thread asks if you think non-heterosexuals should keep it to themselves unless they're prepared to be insulted, whether you do or do not like people of the same sex adds no weight to your opinion whatsoever. If the question were say "Do non-heterosexuals feel they should keep their sexuality to themselves?" well, then someone who favours the same sex would have greater insight into the question than someone so likes the opposite sex, in this sense, I feel that (if you want) revealing your sexuality will add backing to your opinion.

Ugh, looking back at that, it's a mess, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say,doesn't help that it's 2am. I agree with you though that people shouldn't have to fear repercussions for disclosing their sexuality, but unless it's in some way relevant to your point I don't feel that there is any necessity to reveal it.

If I had of come in here and said "I'm in a happy relationship with my wife of x years and I think that...", who cares I'm married? It's not relevant to my opinion.

Edit: missed out a few words

 

[Versago]

Backlash? I'm gay and fear no backlash because the people on the internet are not knife-wielding hoodies in front of my face: They are at a computer far away, trolling, trapped in the prison of the mind in their biased views (Thanks C. S. Lewis for the quote).

I don't think people should keep their sexuality secret online - just keep it relavent. The only time i really mention it is in polls like this. Bieng out online increases awareness of alternate sexualities, keeps society moving forward to understand things from a younger age.

The people are worry for are the Trans communities: LGB are mostly accepted but several societies knock the T off of the end. Sure Trans is about gender and not sexuality, but leaving all Trans groups outside of LGBT is going to put them in the firing line as the 'new discrimination target'. I have several Transvestite and Transgender friends, and they get a hell of a lot more stick than i do.

In short: online openness increases awareness - people should be more honest online.

 

[CaptainCrunch]

Ah, you've gotta love the First Amendment. But I don't live in the States, so it has little significance to me.

Besides, we're not talking about forcing LGBT people to keep things secret. It's a personal decision, and one that shouldn't be connected to law or consititution.

And yes, it is silly that it's an issue. But, silly or not, it is still an issue that affects an awful lot of people.

It's unfortunate that you aren't protected by the same laws as I, but it's just my personal frame of reference. It's also quite likely that the issue originally rose to prominence here in the States. (I haven't been paying attention, but we have a way of whining about this kind of thing.)

In any case, my standpoint comes from the issue's relation to cultural identity. To play the devil's advocate, would it be appropriate to include references to other sexual proclivities? Would it be reasonable for a pedophile to be identified via their online identity? Or is it a matter of "if you're silly enough to tell people what you do in private, it's your own damn fault for what may happen?"

To shed a part of your anonymity online - what do you have to lose, or to gain?

 

[jmoore4ska]

The more people are open about their sexuality, the less it becomes a taboo subject. Therefore, when many people are honest and open about it, negative backlash becomes less common. When everybody talks about it, it can finally become normal.

The longer we try to hide everything from each other, the longer negative views and stereotypes will be perpetuated.

Still, if you discuss your sexuality online, you should be prepared for someone to be ignorant and hassle you (just like if you discuss your religion, your ethnicity, even your gender on rare occasions), but you should be no means "sit down and shut up." If you're open about it, you make room for others to be open about it, and when many people can be open about, society becomes more accustomed to discussing without prejudice.

 

[bobknowsall]

Backlash? I'm gay and fear no backlash because the people on the internet are not knife-wielding hoodies in front of my face: They are at a computer far away, trolling, trapped in the prison of the mind in their biased views (Thanks C. S. Lewis for the quote).

I don't think people should keep their sexuality secret online - just keep it relavent. The only time i really mention it is in polls like this. Bieng out online increases awareness of alternate sexualities, keeps society moving forward to understand things from a younger age.

The people are worry for are the Trans communities: LGB are mostly accepted but several societies knock the T off of the end. Sure Trans is about gender and not sexuality, but leaving all Trans groups outside of LGBT is going to put them in the firing line as the 'new discrimination target'. I have several Transvestite and Transgender friends, and they get a hell of a lot more stick than i do.

In short: online openness increases awareness - people should be more honest online.

Don't get me wrong, I do agree with you, but you might be missing one point I was attempting to make: Some people feel hurt by the hateful comments directed at them when they're online. You're clearly not one of them, so it makes sense that you're open about it. But some people are open about it when they can't handle the insults, and I think that just hurts them to no real benefit.

 

[bobknowsall]

In any case, my standpoint comes from the issue's relation to cultural identity. To play the devil's advocate, would it be appropriate to include references to other sexual proclivities? Would it be reasonable for a pedophile to be identified via their online identity? Or is it a matter of "if you're silly enough to tell people what you do in private, it's your own damn fault for what may happen?"

If you don't mind, I'm not going to answer the paedophile remark. I don't want to drag child abuse into this debate, because it just derails the original point of this thread. I'd be grand with discussing it through PM, though.

Well, I think that people should be aware of the risks that come with saying controversial things to an anonymous audience. I don't agree with the current situation at all, thougn.

 

[bobknowsall]

The more people are open about their sexuality, the less it becomes a taboo subject. Therefore, when many people are honest and open about it, negative backlash becomes less common. When everybody talks about it, it can finally become normal.

The longer we try to hide everything from each other, the longer negative views and stereotypes will be perpetuated.

Still, if you discuss your sexuality online, you should be prepared for someone to be ignorant and hassle you (just like if you discuss your religion, your ethnicity, even your gender on rare occasions), but you should be no means "sit down and shut up." If you're open about it, you make room for others to be open about it, and when many people can be open about, society becomes more accustomed to discussing without prejudice.

I think that discussion of sexuality is to be encouraged IRL, but discussing it online rarely has any positive effects. It just turns into insult-hurling.

 

[OmegaXIII]

Keep it secret? No. Keep it for relevant conversation? Yes

I share your sentiment that constantly being reminded of someone's sexuality, nomatter what it is, is very VERY annoying. However under no circumstances should anyone feel bullied into secrecy just because of 'inevitable backlash' as this is tantamount to their oppression succeeding.

I get where you're coming from, your 'Do not feed the trolls' perspective, but the trouble is that there will always be morons who pick on things different from themselves and the best way to combat them is to not be afraid of provoking them and meet any jeers with a stonewall