Poll: Non-Heterosexuality: A Possibly Unpopular Opinion

[bobknowsall]

(For all the people with far too much time on their hands: Yes, this thread has been searchbar-approved.)

Yeah, I know that sexuality threads have been done to death here, but please bear with me a moment:

Like most of you, I?ve been on the internet for a good few years, and it?s nigh-impossible to browse web forums and YouTube without coming across at least one argument about human sexuality. I mean, that makes a lot of sense; sex and sexuality are subjects that fascinate people, so it?s only natural that people would discuss them.

But these debates are rarely pleasant, as you already know. They?re filled with words like ?fag? and ?bigot?, and other delightful little epithets and insults. I?m not asking you why these things happen (Because it?s pretty simple: Anonymity lets a person express their unpleasant opinions without fear of retaliation), but something that is quite closely related to it.

Discussion forums tends to attract the strongly opinionated, because they?re wonderful places to set up your soapbox and preach to the unwilling listener. And sexuality is one subject with a plethora of subjects for people to get angry about. They stretch from the commonly-held views, such as: ?Ah, gay guys are a bit weird, aren?t they? I mean, I can understand lesbians, but?? and ?I dunno, transvestites just kinda freak me out.?, to the less common ones: ?Oh, everyone?s secretly bisexual, most of them are just in denial!? and ?I figure gays should get the kind of counselling that paedophiles get.?

Some of those statements may have had you nodding in agreement, some may have you shaking your head in despair, and some of them might just piss you off. And that?s cool, because difference of opinion is only natural. But some netizens (to use the horrendous buzzword) seem to think that they can openly flaunt their sexuality without some sort of backlash. And this just strikes me as naïve. ?In a perfect world, there wouldn?t be any discrimination?, and all that other PC rhetoric is quite grand to listen to, but we don?t live in a perfect world. People will take exception to you flaunting your non-heterosexuality, and you can?t start complaining that their insults were totally random and unprovoked. (They shouldn?t be insulting you, true, but you were exposing yourself to serious backlash. It?s like giving a violent sociopath a loaded weapon, then being surprised when he shoots you.)

What I?m trying to say, in a roundabout sort of way, is that people might want to keep their sexualities on the down-low when they?re online. The homophobes should keep their views to themselves too, but they usually lack the cop to do so. But LGBT people tend to be fairly smart (Not because being gay makes you smarter, but simply because it takes a degree of open-mindedness and intelligence to accept the fact that you?re gay, lesbian, or whatever other part of the LGBT spectrum you fill), so I?d kinda expect them to behave in a sensible manner about this.

By all means mention it in your personal details on your profile, but don?t keep reminding us. Repetition is annoying, no matter the subject. (I?m going to break this rule just to ensure that people don?t start thinking I?m some uninformed straight kid who couldn?t possibly understand what this site?s LGBT contingent is going through: I?m not exactly straight either. So please don?t start flipping out over this abrasive and personal opinion. Disagree with me if you like; I?d love to hear your opinions on the subject. But don?t flip out.)

For those who don?t want to read the above wall of text (And I sure as hell can?t blame you), I?ll summarize what I?m trying to ask: Should gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people keep their sexuality to themselves online, unless they?re willing to handle the inevitable backlash?

EDIT #1: Keep any discussions clean, would you kindly?

EDIT #2: Lads, please do actually read the OP, instead of just looking at the poll's question. I'm not advocating censorship of LGBT matters, but discussing how some people may want to avoid hate speech online. This is not an anti-LGBT thread.

EDIT #3: Okay, screw it, just ignore the poll. People are getting the wrong idea, so I'd rather if you just responded to my OP. I know it's long, but I don't like people rushing in without reading it, and having to tell people again and again: "No, I don't want to censor gay people". Okay?

 

[More Fun To Compute]

I don't see why this should be the only topic that people shouldn't be allowed to talk about on the internet. What about religion and politics? I hear that people get beat up for supporting the wrong association football team. Maybe we should recommend that nobody declares which sporting teams they support.

 

[CatAttack]

I have a Tran-sexual brother and they get so much grief, online or otherwise breaks my heart seeing how cruel some people can be.

 

[bobknowsall]

I don't see why this should be the only topic that people shouldn't be allowed to talk about on the internet. What about religion and politics? I hear that people get beat up for supporting the wrong association football team. Maybe we should recommend that nobody declares which sporting teams they support.

That's a good question. I was using sexuality as one example, but I guess people might want to stop harping on about how they're a hardcore atheist/libertarian/Cubs supporter too. It's just that sexuality was the first subject that came to mind when I wrote this, and I wanted to focus on one subject, as opposed to every subject that offends people on the internet. (Because my OP would be the length of Joyce's Ulysses by the time I was finished).

I can see where you're coming from, though.

 

[Meggiepants]

No. There is a huge difference between stating your sexual preference and hurling insults. If someone states they are gay, they aren't doing so to inflict harm on others. If someone comes back with an ugly insult about gay people, they are purposefully trying to hurt another person.

We shouldn't have to shut up just to avoid insults. That's akin to saying to women, "don't wear revealing clothing, or you are asking for it when a guy rapes you."

Sorry, but I call bullshit.

 

[Zannah]

Your really walking on a thin line with what your saying - you can't ask people to just hide their sexuality if it differs from what we define as "normal", and if the refuse to, than you really can*'t say "well they exposed themselves, they had it coming".
On the otherh and, there are people, both homo- and heterosexual, that keep going on and on about their sexuality, practically rubbing their opinion into any face that can't get into cover fast enough. And those people are indeed annoying (especially when they accuse you of being intolerant, for talking back on them)

 

[duckflesh]

I don't think they should. To keep it quiet is to admit that there's something wrong with it, you see? And how can they expect the bigots (insulting? probably, but it's the correct word) to change if the internet begins to seem like a homosexual-free environment? Who knows how many homophobes have been "cured" merely by talking to an openly gay individual and discovering that they're not so strange, after all?

I'm sure that non-heterosexuals consider the ramifications before they talk about their sexuality online; they are already considering the points that you have raised, and are making a decision based on those. They are no doubt fully aware that they might get less grief if they didn't talk about being gay/bi/transgender; some of them choose to do so anyway. It is not your or my place, or the place of people who vote in a poll, to make that decision for them.

 

[bobknowsall]

the internet is a generally unpleasant place and since you're free to create your own avatar i'd personally keep details to myself unless they're necessary. it's sad that people get trouble for being openly gay but we all know it'll happen, whether you let yourself in for trouble is your choice. it's like the areas of town you Don't Go To. there shouldn't be anywhere you're afraid of going but there is an element of self preservation in this kind of thing.

Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm trying to say. The internet is a nasty place, unfortunately. It does sadden me that people can act like such twats online.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

If you are of a non-standard sexual orientation and you mention it online you should expect a cruel, insensitive and unpleasant backlash. It's the internet, it is either full of horrible people or people who use their anonymity to BE horrible and if you don't expect this and aren't familiar with the internet well... welcome? Be afraid? If you ARE familiar with the internet and don't expect this well... what internet are you using...

But do I think this is right? Do I think this is how things should be? Hell no! The Internet is a horrible place, it shouldn't be but it is and I would LOVE it if the internet were a better place.

 

[bobknowsall]

I don't think they should. To keep it quiet is to admit that there's something wrong with it, you see? And how can they expect the bigots (insulting? probably, but it's the correct word) to change if the internet begins to seem like a homosexual-free environment? Who knows how many homophobes have been "cured" merely by talking to an openly gay individual and discovering that they're not so strange, after all?

I'm sure that non-heterosexuals consider the ramifications before they talk about their sexuality online; they are already considering the points that you have raised, and are making a decision based on those. They are no doubt fully aware that they might get less grief if they didn't talk about being gay/bi/transgender; some of them choose to do so anyway. It is not your or my place, or the place of people who vote in a poll, to make that decision for them.

We're not making the decision for them (Them? I'm one of them, so maybe that's the wrong pronoun); people have the freedom to choose how to express themselves, but they need to be willing to accept the consequences of saying something that the vast majority of web users find contentious.

There's nothing wrong with being gay in my view. But the web is not solely populated by people like you and me.

 

[Wolf-AUS]

No. There is a huge difference between stating your sexual preference and hurling insults. If someone states they are gay, they aren't doing so to inflict harm on others. If someone comes back with an ugly insult about gay people, they are purposefully trying to hurt another person.

We shouldn't have to shut up just to avoid insults. That's akin to saying to women, "don't wear revealing clothing, or you are asking for it when a guy rapes you."

Sorry, but I call bullshit.

The thing I don't understand is why, at all, people feel the need to go around telling everyone else on the internet their sexuality. Surely it would be better to known because of your views and intelligence, rather than just being labelled, "oh, he's one of them gays" kinda thing.

 

[Grayjack]

I'm a rebel, so I chose the last option.

OT: If you're willing to handle the insults, then go ahead. You shouldn't have to keep your sexuality a secret.

 

[sneakypenguin]

All depends on the person and what they can take. Any minority opinon/group of people is going to catch flak for anything they say in regards to said belief/lifestyle.

EDIT: also why is it necessary to state that you are gay/bi/straight.

 

[TheCrayonKeeper]

I think that the reason the internet is a 'horrible' place is because many people see strength in being anonymous.

I think everyone should keep personal details to themselves (sexuality, religion, ethnicy etc.) What are you trying to prove by telling someone who you've never met on the internet this?

 

[MoganFreeman]

I can see where OP is coming from. Pragmatically, you have to realize that there are going to be people who will violently react to the simple knowledge that you live in a way that deviates from the norm. That doesn't mean you should be ashamed of your lifestyle, far from it, but don't combatively announce it without the understanding that you will be ruffling some feathers.

EDIT:

I think that the reason the internet is a 'horrible' place is because many people see strength in being anonymous.

I think everyone should keep personal details to themselves (sexuality, religion, ethnicy etc.) What are you trying to prove by telling someone who you've never met on the internet this?

I'll provide personal details if it is relevant to the discussion at hand and I don't think that that is at all a bad thing. But you are right about the anonymity. Just telling things for the sake of telling things is meaningless in this environment. Unless you are trying to provoke some kind of reaction.

 

[BonsaiK]

[Should gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people keep their sexuality to themselves online, unless they?re willing to handle the inevitable backlash?

If you're gay/les/bi/trans/whatever and you're "out" you're going to get a backlash both online and off whether you announce it to the world or not. Many choose to announce it to make it clear in advance that they are in fact not afraid of any backlash and will stand up for who they are no matter what is said. This is how you defeat bullying - you don't ever back down - you stand up for yourself and what you believe, and you continue to do that in the face of no matter what. If the backlash is "inevitable" then the way to stand up to that is to make the statement of sexuality equally "inevitable", so the people who may want to shout you down and tell you to get lost know that they can never win, and the best result they'll ever get is a stalemate. For people who are real targets of violence and even murder in real life just because of their sexuality this is a very big issue. I've personally even been attacked in clubs because people thought I was gay although I'm not, so this is an issue that can affect anyone.

 

[Spinozaad]

Yes. Unless they're willing to handle the backlash.

If you're not willing to confront reactions to your statement/confession/opinion, keep them to yourselves.

It's not nice, but the world is not a Happy Go Lucky place where all opinions are tolerated, and it never will be.