Poll: Questions about dating a Muslim

[Abomination]

Is the woman a Muslim or just from a Muslim family? Do you live in a democratic/non-theocratic nation? You mentioned you are unsure if she even is a Muslim or a Hindu.

If the answer to the first question is she is a Muslim I would not suggest any attempts at romance unless your potential conversion is on the agenda. If she has a Muslim family I would ask her about her relationship with them. If she is her own person and has essentially been disowned or her family is fine with her choice then that shouldn't be a problem. If the family is actively trying to bring her back into the fold-DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

If she's a Hindu then by all means go for gold, buddy. Hindus, in my experience, are awesome people with whom you can engage in most illuminating philosophical debate (as their religion encourages it).

I personally would never date a Muslim as I have had friends attempt it while being either atheist or "moderate/light" Christians and it ended VERY poorly for everyone involved.

 

[FFP2]

Don't even attempt to do anything intimate with her, they tend to not do things the same way non-muslim people do (not insulting, that's why I love Muslim people)

Oh, and don't bank on getting serious unless you want to convert.

You might need to give us more info than just she's Indian and Muslim... Just straight up ask her if she would date a non-muslim guy and if it's because of what her family would say, her religion, her preference or all of the above.

Slightly related question: Is sex before marriage forbidden in Muslim culture? I think it is but I'm not certain.

 

[SextusMaximus]

I've heard certain different ways about exactly what Halaal is. Do you actually know how they're killed?

It's pretty goddamn brutal.
I don't approve of it myself and would never want to touch the stuff.

Spoiler: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC

Spoiler: I'm warning you man!

Spoiler: Bloody! continue at your own risk!

Pretty horrific film. What's the reason for solely eating halal meat?

 

[Abomination]

Pretty horrific film. What's the reason for solely eating halal meat?

I always wondered what the process was, now I wish I was still just wondering.

Yeah, the spoilers are there for a reason, folks. I have slaughtered pigs, cattle and sheep with specific tools and my hands - nothing industrial - and it was nothing as horrific as that.

 

[Keoul]

Pretty horrific film. What's the reason for solely eating halal meat?

I'm not the most knowledgeable on the subject but from what I know,
It's because the meat is "impure" and killing the animal in this fashion "purifies it" or something along those lines. An extremely simplified response would be because it's just part of their religion.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Pretty horrific film. What's the reason for solely eating halal meat?

I'm not the most knowledgeable on the subject but from what I know,
It's because the meat is "impure" and killing the animal in this fashion "purifies it" or something along those lines. An extremely simplified response would be because it's just part of their religion.

I respect it's part of a tradition, but it seems pretty brutal all the same.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Pretty horrific film. What's the reason for solely eating halal meat?

It's because back in the day before refrigeration, living in the hot desert, and not preparing the food correctly, blood stuck in bodies made the meat rot faster and people would get sick from it, similar reason why pork (and shellfish, I am pretty sure that's why they mean by scaleless fish, like the Jewish interpretation of it is.) are a no go, because they pose huge infection risk when not treated correctly.

And traditions stick around, especially when you get denied entry into heaven/afterlife because you didn't follow them.

 

[Worgen]

Just ask her about it, each persons religious behavior is different and really the only way you can tell what will be offensive to her or not will be to find out first hand from her.

 

[White-Death]

I've heard certain different ways about exactly what Halaal is. Do you actually know how they're killed?

It's pretty goddamn brutal.
I don't approve of it myself and would never want to touch the stuff.

Spoiler: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC

Spoiler: I'm warning you man!

Spoiler: Bloody! continue at your own risk!

Pretty horrific film. What's the reason for solely eating halal meat?

The Magical man in the sky said so.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

She's INDIAN and a Muslim? Are you sure she isn't from Pakistan?

India is one of the most multi-cultural places in the world. There isn't really any clear official religion, or custom, or even language. Not so long ago Pakistan was actually part of India under the British Empire, and while now there may be more Hindu's in India than any other faith, they certainly don't have a majority. There are large sects of Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhists and Christians, as well as dozens of smaller, older religions.

OP: So long as her or her immediate family aren't real hard-liners (and if they were I imagine she'd already have a marriage arranged for her already), then I don't see it being any more of a problem than dating anyone else who defines themselves as being religious. Just be respectful of whatever customs they follow whilst you're under their roof, and I'm sure they won't ask any more of you than that.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

India is one of the most multi-cultural places in the world. There isn't really any clear official religion, or custom, or even language. Not so long ago Pakistan was actually part of India under the British Empire, and while now there may be more Hindu's in India than any other faith, they certainly don't have a majority. There are large sects of Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhists and Christians, as well as dozens of smaller, older religions.

To be fair around 82-83% of the population is Hindu and around 12-13% is Muslim in India.

 

[astrav1]

Ok, I got a question. This girl and I have been friends for a really long time and I think we're both crushing on each other, so I'm planning to ask her out. The only real catch is that she's Indian and a Muslim, I'm not, and I've never really had any contact with Muslims because there's not many where I live (I have made sure she's Muslim, not Hindu). Are there anything specifics I need to know about dating one? I really don't wannna make a bad impression early on, especially to her family, by doing something they'd think was disprespectful. I know to stear clear of politics and a lot of current events near her family (even though me and her talk politics all the time, the different perspective is part of why I like her) but I don't know about basics like customs and courtesies. Any help from my fellow Escapists is highly appreciated, especially if you've had experience with this sort of stuff.

very respectfully,
sharkeyes

Step one: Date her.
Step two: Don't force feed her pigs or booze.
Step three: Remember she is a human, not just a muslim.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Pretty horrific film. What's the reason for solely eating halal meat?

It's because back in the day before refrigeration, living in the hot desert, and not preparing the food correctly, blood stuck in bodies made the meat rot faster and people would get sick from it, similar reason why pork (and shellfish, I am pretty sure that's why they mean by scaleless fish, like the Jewish interpretation of it is.) are a no go, because they pose huge infection risk when not treated correctly.

And traditions stick around, especially when you get denied entry into heaven/afterlife because you didn't follow them.

Really interesting to see how hygiene at a certain point in time evolves into a cultural habit! Good info.

 

[Something Amyss]

Islam is fairly diverse. The rules for conduct in Islam cannot be broken down into black and white anymore than one would with Christians or Jews. Catholics and Lutherans do not hold the exact same tenets, nor do reform Judaism and the Hasids.

And you can break that down even further in all instances.

People have this tendency to be more nuanced than the sum of their group's parts would lead you to believe. Talk to her about her faith and tenets. Get to know her faith (and it's actually a great way to get to know someone better as well).

Don't even attempt to do anything intimate with her, they tend to not do things the same way non-muslim people do (not insulting, that's why I love Muslim people)

Oh, and don't bank on getting serious unless you want to convert.

I know a few Muslims who would be quite angry and/or upset about this. And considering I've heard this sort of thing about Native North americans (I'm half Penobscot), I can totally understand why. That's sorta...Bigoted, intents aside.

 

[spartan231490]

Ok, I got a question. This girl and I have been friends for a really long time and I think we're both crushing on each other, so I'm planning to ask her out. The only real catch is that she's Indian and a Muslim, I'm not, and I've never really had any contact with Muslims because there's not many where I live (I have made sure she's Muslim, not Hindu). Are there anything specifics I need to know about dating one? I really don't wannna make a bad impression early on, especially to her family, by doing something they'd think was disprespectful. I know to stear clear of politics and a lot of current events near her family (even though me and her talk politics all the time, the different perspective is part of why I like her) but I don't know about basics like customs and courtesies. Any help from my fellow Escapists is highly appreciated, especially if you've had experience with this sort of stuff.

very respectfully,
sharkeyes

I think google and wiki are gonna be more helpful here than escapist.

 

[Superlative]

Ok, I got a question. This girl and I have been friends for a really long time and I think we're both crushing on each other, so I'm planning to ask her out. The only real catch is that she's Indian and a Muslim, I'm not, and I've never really had any contact with Muslims because there's not many where I live (I have made sure she's Muslim, not Hindu). Are there anything specifics I need to know about dating one? I really don't wannna make a bad impression early on, especially to her family, by doing something they'd think was disprespectful. I know to stear clear of politics and a lot of current events near her family (even though me and her talk politics all the time, the different perspective is part of why I like her) but I don't know about basics like customs and courtesies. Any help from my fellow Escapists is highly appreciated, especially if you've had experience with this sort of stuff.

very respectfully,
sharkeyes

Ask her or her parents to give you a run down of customs and courtesies. People generally don't find it rude when you ask them how not to be rude, it shows you genuinely care about them and their concerns. That honest caring goes a very long way and may get normally reluctant parents to let their daughter give you a shot.

 

[Beryl77]

With the information given, there's not much I can tell you. I grew up in a Muslim family and I can write how things were here but it's a very big group. There's too much diversity among the subgroups to really tell you how you should behave. Also, the country where you live can be a factor as well and of course the individual people and how strictly they follow the rules.
For example, some people I know wouldn't let their kids marry a non-muslim person, my parents on the other hand, wouldn't be happy about that but they'd accept it and not really try to object.

The best thing to do, is really to talk to her.