Poll: Should I meet him?

[lizzielizzie]

I'm with the "no webcam chat, no party" crowd. That dings every alarm in my head. If he still refuses to get on a cam with you, save your money and don't go meet him.

If you're going to meet him, you're gonna see and hear him anyway. Making you dish out a ton of money to do so, sight unseen, voice unheard, is at minimum inconsiderate of him, and at worst a very clear indication that he's not what he's telling you he is.

 

[Robyrt]

Joining the chorus of those saying, "Talk to him on webcam first." It's inexpensive, it's not paranoid (after all, during a visit you'll be talking face to face for hours), and it's a lot easier to get lost in a foreign country if you don't recognize the person picking you up by sight.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

I have been talking to a boy a year older than me from Norway. We've been talking for 3 years now.
I met him online on a game called Puzzle pirates, I have him on facebook and msn so I've seen pictures of him. He refuses to go on web cam and speak on XBL because of his accent. I've wanted to go to Norway for a long time before I knew him. So when I finally go there should I meet him with my parents, or wait 10/15 years so if he's a paedophile he'll be about 60 and I'll be 25 so I can fight him off? I'm 14 nearly 15 and he's nearly 16.


EDIT:Bit of background Info..... I speak to a friend of his also, (who I met before him) I also googled his fathers name and got his address and it is a genuine house. He's on some school photos and football team photos and has 200 or so friends, he wasn't the one who instigated this and one time I was ill off school I appeared offline on msn all day and he wasn't on it once. And obviously I'd go with my parents. (How else would I afford it )

Same situation, genders reversed same country. didnt meet her, glad i didnt. Really should talk to her on MSN again, she was fun. Its not worth it. If your happy as you are now dont do anything.

 

[Krafty_Krocodile]

I would say No. pictures can be unreliable to use so get him to talk through webcam and even he did make sure you bring a parent with you.

 

[Cowabungaa]

I'm a bit in the same situation, but with the genders reversed and the emotions are a bit more...complicated. I showed her myself on my own webcam before and I actually spoke to her before, but still she has never returned the favour. The only thing I réally care about is seeing her, but fact is, even though I have feelings for her I don't dáre to make that step without actually tálking to her first. She's still thinking about it.

In any case, I think you should ask him the same. If he cares enough about you he'll set his uncomfortable feelings about his accent aside for you. If not I wonder how much he really cares.

Don't go. Never physically meet people that you have met on the Internet. Period.

That's ridiculous, I know quite a few very happy couples (even some married ones) that met over the internet. I fondly remember one example from my WoW time. Our warrior class leader started talking more and more with our mage class leader, right now they're living together and couldn't be more happy.

And that's not even naming all the friendships I've seen happening. My niece has a wonderful group of friends, she never had those before, all thanks to a small forum they all met on.

 

[Musclepunch]

I have been talking to a boy a year older than me from Norway. We've been talking for 3 years now.
I met him online on a game called Puzzle pirates, I have him on facebook and msn so I've seen pictures of him. He refuses to go on web cam and speak on XBL because of his accent. I've wanted to go to Norway for a long time before I knew him. So when I finally go there should I meet him with my parents, or wait 10/15 years so if he's a paedophile he'll be about 60 and I'll be 25 so I can fight him off?
I'm 14 nearly 15 and he's nearly 16.

Yet in 10 years you'll be 25 and he'll be 60?

Don't go. Never physically meet people that you have met on the Internet. Period.

No I meant that if he is a pedo now it will mean hes probably around 50 making him 60 when im 25.

 

[The Stonker]

Don't meet him he might be me.

 

[The Red Spy]

Question: why would he be unwilling to talk over Live or a webcam chat, but all for meeting up? You've never seen him directly or spoken, so are you just kidding or not thinking this through, because if you have to ask this question I can't believe you're being serious.

 

[Edorf]

<--- Also with the "No webcam, no party" crowd. Although if you're meeting him with your parents, it should be okay. If things dont work out you could always come visit me \o/

EDIT: Whereabouts does he live?

 

[Musclepunch]

<--- Also with the "No webcam, no party" crowd. Although if you're meeting him with your parents, it should be okay. If things dont work out you could always come visit me \o/

EDIT: Whereabouts does he live?

Bergen

 

[TheXRatedDodo]

Don't go. Never physically meet people that you have met on the Internet. Period.

Gonna have to call bullshit on this one. I met a few people off an audio engineering forum I'm a regular at. One when I went to see a band in Bristol, crashed at his flat. Perfectly sound dude.

Met another one at the beach when he came on holiday down here, exactly the same as he was online, and we got on well online so we hit it off straight away in person. A good time was had by all.

I had seen neither on webcam or talked to them on mics or phones. I plan on meeting more buds from said forum. ^_^

 

[MassiveGeek]

I met my boyfriend over the internet through a friend of his. I spoke to him over the internet for 3 years before meeting him in person, and also I did meet his and my friend(whom I've known longer) before him irl.
However, I refuse to meet someone I've only chatted with, I need some vital proof this person's... well a real person. Usually it's also better to have someone you know well with you(parents, a buddy, etc) just in case.

In short; Better safe than sorry. Explain to him that you're insecure about meeting him if he doesn't show enough trust towards you to show his face on webcam and speak to you. Because really, if he refuses to talk to you on mic, there's something weird about that guy.

 

[Zero=Interrupt]

Man, this is how perfectly nice teenage girls with everything going for them end up as nasty photos and sad statistics on the evening news. Please, OP, listen and don't take offense, but:

1) You should NEVER travel alone to meet anyone you "meet" on the internet. At all. Ever. Even when you're 45 and can carry a gun.
2) You're sixteen. That means you have a good, oh, eighty years or so of living, travelling the earth and meeting people. That's a long time. Think about it.
3) If your parents agree to let you travel, alone, to another country to meet a stranger, they should be incarcerated and have their Parent licenses thrown into an incinerator. That said, they will probably not agree, and when you're in your mid-twenties to lower thirties, you will probably thank them for not agreeing.
4) If he's a pedophile, as you suggest, and you're still into him when you're in your twenties, then he'll still be a paedophile then, just with prison experience. Hopefully he'll be a dead pedophile. Either way, you'll be too old for him anyway.
5) It may not seem like it, but your life, now, is pretty full. You have school, friends, family, maybe a part-time job, maybe your first car by now. That's a lot. Enjoy it. Live it. Get off the damn internet and stop playing games on Facebook. Go tubing with your friends. Take up bungee jumping. Go to a rave. Take in a show. Learn the guitar. It's better than being a corpse in a plastic bag dumped in a fjord.
7) Trips to Norway are expensive. Save your money for things like a car, clothes, or eating out with your friends. If you still have excess money after that, tell your parents you want to go to college, and they'd be more than glad to help you open up a bank account to put it in.
8) Your school and town are probably full of perfectly nice boys who share your interests. Go meet some of them. In REAL LIFE.

If you have any more questions, you should have at least one adult in the house who has a genuine interest in your well-being and will listen to you. Go talk to them. It may not seem like it at times, but they're on your side and very much want you to be happy.

And alive.

 

[maninahat]

I have been talking to a boy a year older than me from Norway. We've been talking for 3 years now.
I met him online on a game called Puzzle pirates, I have him on facebook and msn so I've seen pictures of him. He refuses to go on web cam and speak on XBL because of his accent. I've wanted to go to Norway for a long time before I knew him. So when I finally go there should I meet him with my parents, or wait 10/15 years so if he's a paedophile he'll be about 60 and I'll be 25 so I can fight him off? I'm 14 nearly 15 and he's nearly 16.

The entire "refuses to go on webcam" thing sets off my b/s radar big-time. Regardless of whether you see him on cam though I certainly hope you wouldn't visit a foreign country unchaperoned at the age of 14.

If you're going with your parents then by all means go, meet him and his parents, do some sight-seeing and have fun.

P.S. The profile of a "typical" pedophile is not someone who's 50, but rather typically a caucasian male of mid-20's to 30's, generally high achievers, or at least these are the individuals who are most commonly caught and convicted of these sort of offenses. That cute university student with the nice car and in the final year of his law degree who smiles at you is more likely to be a pedophile than the old janitor who stares at you at school (he's probably just waiting for your to drop some litter so he can report you).

Apparently, there is a slightly greater chances of paedophiles being (heterosexual) females, as oppose to the male stereotype. The probable reason for this is that women are typically more likely to go into a career in which they are in close proximity with children (like teaching, baby sitting etc.). Add on to this the cultural perception that "males are always up for it", then female teachers may think less of coming on to their older, pubescent pupils.

Oh, and should we be really trusting the OP so much? For all we know (as we have heard only one side of the story), she is simply using this thread as "evidence" to prove to the boy that she is who she says she is. After all, no one would expect a paedophile to bring up the question of identity in conversation.

 

[Nivag the Owl]

I'm usually all anti-internet-paranoia but in this situation, I'm gonna agree that's it's too dodgy. There's something awfully shifty about being that self concious of your own accent. But on the other hand, I have a good friend who met someone from Denmark via game, to later have them stay over with him for a holiday. And it was all well and good.

It's mostly the age that concerns me. If there's any way you could make it some kind of family trip, then you totally should.

 

[Mekado]

Oh, and should we be really trusting the OP so much? For all we know (as we have heard only one side of the story), she is simply using this thread as "evidence" to prove to the boy that she is who she says she is. After all, no one would expect a paedophile to bring up the question of identity in conversation.

The OP is a he, not a she.

 

[Wrds]

If you've known the guy for 3 years and aren't 100% comfortable with meeting him now, then there is something wrong anyways.

You shouldn't meet him.

I recently had a friend that I've known online for 6 years fly over here to spend a week and finally meet. We've been talking on ventrillo for as long as we've known each other, and have been talking about our lives in great detail for about 3 years now. If you've known the guy for several years and aren't comfortable with meeting him then you probably never will be.

 

[Shemming]

Regardless i'd recomend going with someone, even if you skype to him he still could be a crazed murderer.
Even then definetly skype.