Poll: Should I meet him?

[DuplicateValue]

Why not?

If he was a pedo of some sort, he probably would have tried sending you flirty messages/pictures by now, and I doubt he'd have bothered spending 3 years talking to you.
From your description I'm assuming you're only visiting him as friends, so it seems alright to me. Like many others else have said, just make sure your parents know where you're going at all times.

However, if this is a "romantic" visit, do be very careful.

 

[crazypsyko666]

I would try to make them talk to you over the phone, or get some recognition that this is actually the guy you're talking to. Until then, hell no. Not to a foreign country. I've met people in person that I've met online. It turned out great, but I came very well prepared. I also had at least three knives on me just in case they were going to steal my liver.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

I have been talking to a boy a year older than me from Norway. We've been talking for 3 years now.
I met him online on a game called Puzzle pirates, I have him on facebook and msn so I've seen pictures of him. He refuses to go on web cam and speak on XBL because of his accent. I've wanted to go to Norway for a long time before I knew him. So when I finally go there should I meet him with my parents, or wait 10/15 years so if he's a paedophile he'll be about 60 and I'll be 25 so I can fight him off? I'm 14 nearly 15 and he's nearly 16.

I say go for it. But don't tell your parents, they won't understand-- you should sneak away to meet him at a private location of his choosing. Obviously he's a trustworthy and friendly person or you wouldn't even be considering this let alone talk to him for 3 years, so there's very little risk involved.

Yea, because sarcasm helps in every situation. Seriously, I've done this exact same thing with no international boundary and the genders reversed. We even spoke for about 3 years beforehand. IT WENT FINE.

I'd just inform your parents of what you're doing. I did.

The gender thing is actually a pretty crucial difference.

Why? Because women can't be sex offenders?

 

[ghostalker.cepo]

No voice, no pictures, no webcam sounds fishy to me, but on the other hand, 3 years is a bit of an investment if you're only just talking about meeting up. I voted for "go with parents" but I'd say go with friends if you can, or at least have some kind of back-up just in case he's not on the level.

Insist that before agreeing to visit him, whoever you go with or whether you go at all, you have to see him on webcam. Be sure he is who he says he is. If he doesn't do this for you (and if he's that into you, he should, it's just a silly webcam), then no dice, and get rid of him as a contact.

 

[maninahat]

Oh, and should we be really trusting the OP so much? For all we know (as we have heard only one side of the story), she is simply using this thread as "evidence" to prove to the boy that she is who she says she is. After all, no one would expect a paedophile to bring up the question of identity in conversation.

The OP is a he, not a she.

My bad for assuming. Though my basic argument still stands.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

i'm in a similar situation right now-i met someone online and we have the opportunity to meet in real life soon. i'm taking my stepdad, but that's because he's a cage fighter and all around badass, so if you know someone like that, bring him. but there's no reason not to meet at all, once safety concerns have been seen to. don't trust the internet too far, but there's nothing wrong with letting what you know for sure take away from your fear.

 

[Musclepunch]

[spoiler zero's post]

Man, this is how perfectly nice teenage girls with everything going for them end up as nasty photos and sad statistics on the evening news. Please, OP, listen and don't take offense, but:

1) You should NEVER travel alone to meet anyone you "meet" on the internet. At all. Ever. Even when you're 45 and can carry a gun.
2) You're sixteen. That means you have a good, oh, eighty years or so of living, travelling the earth and meeting people. That's a long time. Think about it.
3) If your parents agree to let you travel, alone, to another country to meet a stranger, they should be incarcerated and have their Parent licenses thrown into an incinerator. That said, they will probably not agree, and when you're in your mid-twenties to lower thirties, you will probably thank them for not agreeing.
4) If he's a pedophile, as you suggest, and you're still into him when you're in your twenties, then he'll still be a paedophile then, just with prison experience. Hopefully he'll be a dead pedophile. Either way, you'll be too old for him anyway.
5) It may not seem like it, but your life, now, is pretty full. You have school, friends, family, maybe a part-time job, maybe your first car by now. That's a lot. Enjoy it. Live it. Get off the damn internet and stop playing games on Facebook. Go tubing with your friends. Take up bungee jumping. Go to a rave. Take in a show. Learn the guitar. It's better than being a corpse in a plastic bag dumped in a fjord.
7) Trips to Norway are expensive. Save your money for things like a car, clothes, or eating out with your friends. If you still have excess money after that, tell your parents you want to go to college, and they'd be more than glad to help you open up a bank account to put it in.
8) Your school and town are probably full of perfectly nice boys who share your interests. Go meet some of them. In REAL LIFE.

If you have any more questions, you should have at least one adult in the house who has a genuine interest in your well-being and will listen to you. Go talk to them. It may not seem like it at times, but they're on your side and very much want you to be happy.

And alive.

[/spoiler]

Oh yeah I have loads of friends that live near me, and I do refereeing of football and stuff but I just thought after 3 years of speaking to him nigh on every day it would make sense to see him!

 

[supagama]

wait till u get older. buy a gun. go meat him. if he is a pedo shoot him in the dick. problem solved.

yea that pretty much solves everything. rember, violence is not the answer, its the question and the answer is yes.

 

[cricket chirps]

PLEASE READ FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!

I raise the question of "do your parents already know about this?" because if they dont yet then you should probably move on from this one. i know its not fun to here but if you havnt heard his voice or seen him somehow through webcam or otherwise, then there is a large chance he may be a paedophile. But the largest reason i suggest not to is because is a large burden that could go terribly wrong. I speak from experience because i was once in a situation like this. I had spoken with the girl on webcam and had been for 2 years. I brought it up with my parents and, though they are reasonable people and even considered it for a bit, it was a bad decision. It became a big worry for my parents and it ended up never happening. :/ Look for someone somewhere else.

 

[Dexiro]

Why do you feel you need to meet him? If you're prepared to wait a few years so you can defend yourself then you don't sound that bothered about it.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

I don't think you should until you can comfirm he's who he is. I always show my internet GF's a video that has me in it (Albeit with a sock Puppet... That's really a puppet that's a sock, nothing sexual) so they know that that's who I am.

In short: Tell him to show you his face on Video Chat.

 

[Timbydude]

No way. See him on webcam; an accent is no excuse to hide himself from you.

 

[gamefreakbsp]

If you are with your parents, then you should be alright. By no means meet with him alone though. It just sounds iffy to me. Meet him in a bright, public place with lots of people and your parents around and you will be fine.

 

[Burningsok]

I have been talking to a boy a year older than me from Norway. We've been talking for 3 years now.
I met him online on a game called Puzzle pirates, I have him on facebook and msn so I've seen pictures of him. He refuses to go on web cam and speak on XBL because of his accent. I've wanted to go to Norway for a long time before I knew him. So when I finally go there should I meet him with my parents, or wait 10/15 years so if he's a paedophile he'll be about 60 and I'll be 25 so I can fight him off? I'm 14 nearly 15 and he's nearly 16.


EDIT:Bit of background Info..... I speak to a friend of his also, (who I met before him) I also googled his fathers name and got his address and it is a genuine house. He's on some school photos and football team photos and has 200 or so friends, he wasn't the one who instigated this and one time I was ill off school I appeared offline on msn all day and he wasn't on it once. And obviously I'd go with my parents. (How else would I afford it )

I say go for it, but be careful. Also I would advise you to get him to talk on a webcam. Just tell him you don't care how he sounds. assure him that it's ok. I am planning on meeting someone myself that I met on WoW 2 1/2 years ago. I have seen some videos of her, and a good amount of pictures. Plus I've even had a few phone conversations with her. So I know she is legit. I talk to her friends on facebook every now and then as well.

So remember get him to talk to you via webcam or even the phone if at all possible. Don't force him to though, it's not a good way to go about it. Every once in a while just bring it up.

 

[SuccessAndBiscuts]

I would say agree to meet somewhere public, have plans later in the day so you have an excuse to get out of dodge city, also that means people will know if something happens to you.

Be somewhere public and have your parents close by agree to meet this guy at say 4.30 and your parents at 5. Something like that, Im sure you don't want your parents hanging over your shoulder but perhaps somewhere they can see you from?

 

[Jonluw]

I'd say go with your parents if you really want to meet him. Beware of the awkward though... The awkward is not fun at all. The 'not talking to you' thing doesn't sound all too fishy to me, because heavy accents can be rather embarrassing. I'd think twice before trying to talk to an English person over Skype.

If you really want to go; then tell him that, and explain that you will have to talk with him on webcam before you can meet him in person. If you do that I am sure he will comply.

Also, if you go to Norway, remember that stuff is expensive here. The trip might be rather hard on your wallet if you plan to stay for a while.