Oh, I thought he meant the less legitimate kind of grass. Never mind. You live in their house, expect to not get everything your own way.bakan said:
Poll: Should parents have to pay back their kids
- Thread starter unicron44
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Yeah, but as a teen, you don't really have the ability to earn a living. You weren't a tenant, you were a child. Your parents (most likely) chose to have you, and therefore have to support you. However, I also feel that when you start earning money for yourself, any amount that is borrowed or lent between teen and adult should be paid back in full.Azure-Supernova said:
I have a couple thoughts on this topic.
First, yes. If money is ever borrowed, it should be repaid in full at the nearest convenience. I have borrowed money from my father many times, and if I am ever short, I will do some work for him... in fact, by now for all his computer repairs he likely owes me money ^_^.
My second is that sometimes borrowing can be mutual. I have a close friend who I go out for coffee, dinner and drinks fairly often. We will usually take up the bill, but neither of us knows how much who owes who. Same friend though, I sold a computer to. He paid a few months later with a set of speakers I wanted and some cash. I had no NEED for the money right away and this ended up working out better for me. Also, he gave me an extra 10$ because all he had were twenties.
There is an etiquette to money. A lot of trust and often you will get screwed over. It should always be paid back in full unless otherwise arranged.
P.S. And yes... I'm sorry to say. You're mother is stealing from you. Don't feel bad though. My mother stole from me also. She took my damn soul.
First, yes. If money is ever borrowed, it should be repaid in full at the nearest convenience. I have borrowed money from my father many times, and if I am ever short, I will do some work for him... in fact, by now for all his computer repairs he likely owes me money ^_^.
My second is that sometimes borrowing can be mutual. I have a close friend who I go out for coffee, dinner and drinks fairly often. We will usually take up the bill, but neither of us knows how much who owes who. Same friend though, I sold a computer to. He paid a few months later with a set of speakers I wanted and some cash. I had no NEED for the money right away and this ended up working out better for me. Also, he gave me an extra 10$ because all he had were twenties.
There is an etiquette to money. A lot of trust and often you will get screwed over. It should always be paid back in full unless otherwise arranged.
P.S. And yes... I'm sorry to say. You're mother is stealing from you. Don't feel bad though. My mother stole from me also. She took my damn soul.
Ooh, hide your money and replace it with counterfeit bills, so that when she tries to spend it she gets arrested.
If you talked to her and she wouldn't listen first, of course.
If you talked to her and she wouldn't listen first, of course.
Personally I don't think your mum is making a very good impression on you. As you grow up you need to have some independance and learn how to manage your own money. The thing here is that dad is trying to treat you as an adult to encourage your forays into independance . While your mum still sees you as her child and so sees your cash as hers.
Perhaps explain to her politely that you are trying to become a little more independant and it would be nice if she let you manage your own money for a little while to get used to when you move out.
Mums can be a bit reluctant to see their little babies grow up
Perhaps explain to her politely that you are trying to become a little more independant and it would be nice if she let you manage your own money for a little while to get used to when you move out.
Mums can be a bit reluctant to see their little babies grow up
they should, because if you worked for that money (by moving the lawn/having a part time job) its yours and you earned it.
It's easy to pull the whole "your parents pay for X and Y and blah blah so you shouldn't have to pay back" argument, but the way I see it, your parents made the choice to support you when they gave birth to you.
They pay for your food and shelter but that doesn't mean you owe them, that just means they gave birth to a kid.
They pay for your food and shelter but that doesn't mean you owe them, that just means they gave birth to a kid.
I've encountered a similar problem with family members borrowing dosh and not returning it, as such "I don't have any money" at least that's what I say now to avoid having to give them money I'll probably never see again.
oh, forgot to mention. Because a lot of people are using the "but your parents provided for you all your life" argument... That does not apply. There are a few reasons for this. When a teen starts to make money, they need to learn how to budget it. When their money starts going missing because mom had sticky fingers, this effectively stops the learning process. I DO think that parents should ask for money from time to time. But also pay it back. It is how the world works and presses proper morals to your spawn. There ARE cases where a family is tight for money and a child's earnings would greatly benefit the whole. In this case we can introduce budgeting on multiple levels. X amount for family, Y amount for joy and Z for savings.
If a parent borrows money that would normally be needed to be paid back in the outside world, you teach you child how to take advantage of people. Also, this leads to a more solitude lifestyle.
I understand the argument you have been using. Children are expensive. I couldn't afford one. But it is also your responsibility to prepare them for the world in any way you can. And this is one of the cheapest lessons because it costs nothing... OR IT BETTER!!!
If a parent borrows money that would normally be needed to be paid back in the outside world, you teach you child how to take advantage of people. Also, this leads to a more solitude lifestyle.
I understand the argument you have been using. Children are expensive. I couldn't afford one. But it is also your responsibility to prepare them for the world in any way you can. And this is one of the cheapest lessons because it costs nothing... OR IT BETTER!!!
On one hand parents might feel like the child owes them for, you know, everything. But a reasonable parent will at least be up front and start charging the child board/rent to contribute to household costs. If they're just taking your cash as a loan and not paying it back, that's not cool. It disincentives you from doing something to gain your independence.
Considering you can never pay back what you owe your parents for even existing, no, I don't think parents should have to pay back their kids.
I know I would give my left nut to help my folks out of a bind for all the shit they put up with while raising me.
I know I would give my left nut to help my folks out of a bind for all the shit they put up with while raising me.
Here's the straight dope:
Anything that they have given you willingly is technically a gift. It may not have been convenient, but if you didn't steal it, and there was never any mention of repayment, then it was a gift. If you give your Dad money, and he gives you an IOU, that's a loan. You can be as lenient with the terms of repayment as you like (he can take as long as he likes, as long as it's repaid), but the expectation is that the money will be repaid. If your mother is taking money out of your sock drawer without asking you for it and with no intention of paying you back, that's stealing.
If you want to avoid this all together, put your money in the bank except for $40-$50 that you keep in your wallet and on your person. That way, your Mom can't just take it without you knowing, you can loan your Dad some quick cash if he needs it (and asks for it), and when you need to buy things for more than $50 you can do it with your debit card.
Anything that they have given you willingly is technically a gift. It may not have been convenient, but if you didn't steal it, and there was never any mention of repayment, then it was a gift. If you give your Dad money, and he gives you an IOU, that's a loan. You can be as lenient with the terms of repayment as you like (he can take as long as he likes, as long as it's repaid), but the expectation is that the money will be repaid. If your mother is taking money out of your sock drawer without asking you for it and with no intention of paying you back, that's stealing.
If you want to avoid this all together, put your money in the bank except for $40-$50 that you keep in your wallet and on your person. That way, your Mom can't just take it without you knowing, you can loan your Dad some quick cash if he needs it (and asks for it), and when you need to buy things for more than $50 you can do it with your debit card.
Well, I wouldn't say that it's mandatory that they have to pay you back when they're borrowing money, with all the things they pay for you it really can be overlooked. On the other hand, I would argue that it's not only "fair" of them to pay you back, since you EARNED that money, it's also important for them to be good role-models, in every aspect of life, and a good role-model pay what he/she owes.
This whole thing with your mum taking money from you is just wrong. I don't care how much you cost them growing up, taking money from someone, especially from family, is bad. It's bad for you, it's bad for her and worst of all: it's bad for your relationship.
This whole thing with your mum taking money from you is just wrong. I don't care how much you cost them growing up, taking money from someone, especially from family, is bad. It's bad for you, it's bad for her and worst of all: it's bad for your relationship.