Snotnarok said:
You read me like I'm trying to tear the OP apart, I'm saying that if you complain about a something popular people MIGHT not like you for it. I personally do not care what people like or dislike, voice your opinions all you want that's not gonna bother me. I don't care what consoles people play, what religion they are, what sexual field you play in. I'm actually very passive when it comes to what other people think or do.
I'm referring to his "friends" and their possible view. I'm not gonna hop on the mob band wagon and just see it from one persons side of the story. I'm not burning him, I'm giving REASONS why this could be, and if you find that distasteful then perhaps you're not reading me right or perhaps my poor explaining abilities are showing through, it's hard to intemperate and explain via text alone sometimes.
But if you think a bunch of people in school are going to logically hear you out or instead gang up on you and make fun of you then I don't know what kind of school you went to, I was called a ****** several times (and attacked a few other times) for just being the quiet kid in the back of the room who'd draw stuff. Who stuck up for me when a bunch of people surrounded my desk and started threatening me and shoving me? No one, because they were too busy saying "fight fight fight fight". People get into a mindset and that mindset gets out of control quickly. I know what it's like to be on the bad side of people for doing literally nothing, but sometimes simple reactions or tones of voice hell the way you do your hair will set people to target you and if you think that's wrong well I've lived through it and I can tell you I'm very, very right.
Your right to voice your opinion will likely get your sign shoved up your ass if you're not careful what you say to certain people, or the majority I suppose. Is that fair? No but life isn't fair and sometimes people need to weigh the benifits to keep their mouths shut vs voicing their opinion.
Why is that? Because people are assholes, and assholes make mobs and mob mentality can be a dangerous thing.
My friends found out I was asexual, I didn't tell them, I told no one but a small community online where I was under an alias. I kept it bottled up as you stated and I was confused, depressed, scared and I had no idea what to do or how to handle this.
Well, guess what they were gonna do? Be good friends and hear my side of the story over a cup of tea? No they planned to corner me in my room and pin me down and tell me to stop being such a deviant and that I better clean up my act. Real good for someone in my miserable state at that point, barely understanding what he is or already scared of what people think.
You tell me what bit of that is fair and just, fair doesn't always work, fair doesn't always happen. What saves you is what you chose to say and HOW you say it. Do I like any of this? Is it fair? Call me jaded but I really just find that it's fine to voice your opinion, but if you're disagreeing with a group, you keep those thoughts well thought, non-antagonizing and just be calm and cool. Because you may have a right to disagree, but they don't have to give you any ground. :\
Again, I'm not trying to be vicious, there may be bile in what I've said but I must insist that it's just from my experiences from being bullied and it's directed strictly at those who did it to me, not you or the OP. I'm the nasty reality check I guess, fair doesn't exist is what I've experienced.
Well I was talking about Ideals for the wider world. And they are ideals, I don't expect at all one individual to just start following them without the wider population following them first.
School is such a different case, it's almost like prison it is such a unique scenario though you could say at the other end of society (people moving towards being good citizens, rather than moving away)
The problem with school is not only are all the students inherently immature due to their age but they are in school for such a relatively short period of time, a few years. And by the time they learn to be civilised and mature then they are out in the "real" world of higher education or employment and at the bottom replaced with even younger even less mature children. It's quite futile to ever change schools without resorting to draconian measures but you can make it a learning experience, people know how shit school was and they leave that shit THERE.
I'd say my openness proposal is something to be aspired to THROUGHOUT the stay in school and should not be embarked upon haphazardly. The ground works MUST be built first, I fully support keeping yourself to yourself in the volatile school environment. People need to at least learn that accepting and tolerating differing views (that don't harm anyone) is the right thing to do even if they don't actually follow it.
So to summarise:
To people with differing opinions: keep them to yourself in school
To people of popular opinions: be open to different perspectives
I did in fact recommend the OP keep away from associating with these people but speaking more generally I say they should be more accepting and that includes not tolerating intolerance. You say no one stood up for you, but have you ever stood up for anyone who was in need? It doesn't take much, you just need to give the lead bully the reality check that THEY are the bad guy here.
Bullies never think they've done anything really bad, they always have an excuse... but never a reason. Don't give them the "excuse" that "We didn't realise what we were doing was wrong". This is the most powerful thing you can do, the problem is it won't do a damn thing for your past self, but it has to start somewhere.
It is a damn shame in school that things as simple as video game preference you have to be secretive but sooner or later your peers are going to HAVE TO FUCKING LEARN to accept a differing opinion, one as basic as:
"I don't like Halo/CoD/GoW... as much as you" (*insert popular game here)
I agree it IS down to how you say it. Otherwise an "I don't like Game" will end up in their memory as "I hate Game"
Two utterly different things. "I don't like" is an utterly NEUteral position, "I Hate" is a affirmative negative opinion but people WILL do these mental flips as language is so peppered with euphemisms and non-sequiter phrases that CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING! If they hear you talk negative of said Game then say "I don't like" they will remember it as "I hate".
it's so fucking annoying that you practically need to have a psychology degree to not end up as either a stooge or a punching bag. The best thing is to have friends who know how you speak, they will probably understand what you are saying or will get clarification.
