Trekwars Episode IV

oor Data,We Hardly Knew Ye
The scene:The badly burned bridge of one USS Enterprise.Through the smoke we can make out Kirk and Picard,huddled close together and giggling like schoolgirls with a skin-mag.In the far corner Mr. Spock and Scotty(the old fat one) are puzzling over a piece of something-or-other they have lifted out of Data.Scotty furrows his brow,obviously stumped.
Scotty:"I'm afraid it will have to do.That LaForge kid put up a hell of a fight for a blind guy,and he seems to have damaged this chip when I was prying it from his dying hands.Incidentally Mr.Spock...How very unkind of ye to apply your Vulcan Death Grip to that particular part of his anatomy."
Spock:"It was logical...you had him in the 'Pretzel Move'. Anyway,he never saw it coming"
---They share a chuckle as Kirk and Picard make their way over.
Picard:"Reinsert the re-programmed memory-reproductor recapacitor and relay the..."
Kirk

interrupting) "I'LL give the orders around here,Mr. Picard...Mr Spock, put that Doo-Hickey back into that...whatever, and let's get on with our attack."
Switch to TORPEDO ROOM-Picard,Spock and Scotty are stuffing Data into a torpedo tube head-first as Kirk is rubbing his hands together with malicious glee.Data is protesting(to Spock)that this very illogical as he is the brains of the entire outfit and therefore the most valuable asset...etc...etc... Spock simply shrugs and grabs a mop-handle to aid in stuffing the recalcitrant goldbrick into the tube.
Kirk:"Prepare for firing--tube 3"
---muffled protests from the tube are cut short as Picard says "Make it so"
Kirk:"Fire the Android"
Next time: et tu? et Machina