Poll: Would you rather rule in Hell, or serve in Heaven?

[TotallyFake]

Rule in Hell, take over Heaven using my hellish minions, then rule Heaven (I prefer the weather there).

You do know that's been tried before? Ended pretty badly. To quote some more Milton: (Words are Satan's (incidentally, he wouldnt refer to himself as such, Satan means Enemy)
"All our glory now extinct, and happy state here swallowed up in endless misery. But what if he our Conquerer (whom I now of force believe Almighty, since no less than such could have o'werpow'red such force as ours)"

Hell is not a nice place. For anyone.

And I really don't understand people who'd claim Heaven as boring. Have you read the New Testament? Jesus spends half his time talking about how great it is, like one great party with wine, music, good friends. Imagine your best family christmas, pure wholesome fun, stretched out for ETERNITY. Or are we forgetting the whole Water -> Wine thing?

 

[rokkolpo]

just make sure there all of the other sex.
i wouldn,t want 72 male virgins''shivers''

i,d see some god screwing me over with a joke like that.

Ahaha!
There's actually a Family Guy sketch about that (when isn't there?), just found the link:

i,m watching this over and over and over. it,s AWESOME. that message is a keeper.

 

[Dimbo_Sama]

'Better to rule in hell, than to serve in heaven'
If Milton said it, even in fiction, it must be true

 

[Skeleon]

But here's the thing: Even if you believe in it, Hell is not a real place in that it's an actual cave full of fire and pointy things or something like that. It's a spiritual place of torment.
So if it's not a real cave or anything like that, couldn't one just change it? Make it suck less or even turn it into a good place?
Have the ol' demon lords killed or exiled and replaced with damned human souls (after all, even most of the good people would be stuck in Hell, so finding qualified folks shouldn't be too hard)!
Hell, now under new management. Let's extinguish the fires, rip apart the spiritual ceiling and let the sunshine in.

 

[Alex the Pally]

Hell's too hot, the healthcare plan sucks, Armageddon will happen BEFORE you get your red jumpsuit, Ol Scratch is too busy wallowing in misery, self-pity, and his equivalent of his days as captain of the high school football team to give a shit, and most importantly, the food tastes like ash.

Heaven's too bland; sure, you get eternal bliss, but all of your truly awesome and insane friends, as well as all the good musicians, are in Hell, Limbo, or a separate community in heaven. Furthermore, God's a senile old bat who does cheap magic tricks all day and makes it required to hear him sing Barry Manilow during evening concerts, and honestly, who wants to put up with that?

Clearly the only option is "Wibbles".

 

[Baldry]

If I serve in heaven then I must be in hell so to rule hell must be hell....all roads lead to hell except if you take the one were you get to hang out in heaven

 

[mugetsu37]

You go to Hell for the food, company, and entertainment; heaven for the salvation.

 

[NeckStabber]

Heaven DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH


That is,islamic heaven,not that pansy christian thing.

you mean 47 virgins waiting for you.

Jackpot!

 

[NeutralDrow]

I'm not a ruler in any case, much less over something that will give me no pleasure. I'll serve in Heaven.

 

[Kazturkey]

Rule in hell.

I AM CREATOR AND FINAL ARBITER.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Serve in Heaven, but Serve in Hell is more popular.

I mean, Rule in Hell? And have every demon below you waiting to backstab you?

Now, if I was serving in Hell, the master would do everything that I informed him of, and then take all the blame.

 

[neoman10]

Wibble. Reminds me of Blackadder...

OT: Rule in Hell. I mean, how often do you get the chance to rule over people and choose their punishment?

to be honest, so did I

but Heaven because I am a bit religious and Heaven's where it's at

 

[Abengoshis]

Why would ANYONE want to serve such a malicious, vindictive character as the Christian god? I'd take hell, no hesitation.

 

[Sethzard]

rule in hell, then I could sew discord in the world of men, but the UN are doing a good job until when I get down there.

 

[riskroWe]

In my view, Hell is immortality and Heaven is death.
So serving in heaven is identical to ruling in heaven, because it's a classless system.
I'll take heaven.

 

[AnarchistAbe]

Heck, I would gladly serve in Hell. Think about all the cool people who has gone to hell! All of the free-thinkers and such. Heaven must be so boring.

Dont forget the fact that you are on fire!!! Oh, and demons get to rip you apart at their will!!! Best of all, you get no sleep due to those pesky screams of all the tortured souls! Sounds like a great place to be.

Sarcasm aside, I'll take paradise.

 

[Sun Flash]

Heaven DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH


That is,islamic heaven,not that pansy christian thing.

you mean 47 virgins waiting for you.

I thought it was 72. But 47 would be enough also. For a while.

keeping in mind that you will still be having 47 of these...

Spoiler

 

[lolcatize]

hell cose there is no laws and its awesome

 

[GordonFawx]

Technically; rule hell.

Since yeah, right now it's a wasteland, but I take that as more of a "It's a fixer-upper!". I'm sure you can transform that wasteland into a lush paradise given enough time and souls of the damned looking for redemption...

...and for those that don't, well, we always have the basement.

Picture giving that option to the tortured masses. "Okay... you can suffer an eternity of flames and essentially damnation -OR- you can pick up a shovel and we can do some gardening, turn down the flames and make this a much nicer place without that pesky puritan."

 

[MortisLegio]

Serve in Heaven.
Not even Satan wants to be in Hell