Relationships and life.

[Supreme Unleaded]

Yes, I have been trying to lose weight lately. Mostly just using a tredmill.

If your really trying to lose weight thats your problem, thats not changing your lifestyle thats making you think your getting skinnier, which in some cases can make you eat more because you think your burning it all off. Do i know that thats how you think, no, but if it is then just listen to me.

To lose weight you gotta go on hikes, go swimming, biking, running, all that stuff regularly, i used to be a bit fat, not enourmus but i sure as hell wasnt skinny. I did all of the above and now ive got a nice build, im not completely skinny, but ive got alot of muscle and it showes.

Now, also, you can't just give up after ONE person doesnt like you, thats just setting yourself up for failure. Just keep at it.

And one more thing, these threads are generaly disliked here, most people don't want to give a damn about your troubles, im acually supprised at the good number of "good" responces you got. Just think about that before you make annother relationship thread.

 

[x0ny]

Just be friends for now, you never know, it may turn out into something, just be patient. It took nearly two years of "being a friend" to this girl before we started dating. Laying down this foundation to me is important as it gives you and your friend more time to get to know each other better. I can't guarantee this will work for you, but it's worked for me that's why I'm sharing with you. =) Good luck! At least you can make people laugh, I can't even do that.

 

[clairedelune]

A few things to say here...
On the weight: If you feel that looks are the reason you aren't being taken seriously by girls, then change what you have control over. A body is something that men have a lot of control over, as a good body pretty much ends at being fit. It sounds like getting in shape would provide you with a lot more confidence, and that is something girls really appreciate. Don't take that to mean that confidence can be a replacement for looks, because while that is a wonderful sentiment, it does not hold a lot of truth. It does mean that you can be in shape but if you are still very quiet and passive, we will still see you as the nice guy but not a potential date/boyfriend/whatever you are aiming to be. Taking the initiative to lose weight will be seen really positively by the girls that already know you - it takes a lot of drive and motivation to lose significant amounts of weight, and that shows a lot of strong character.

On not feeling very attractive (face-wise): You can't change your face. This is something that is very difficult to accept. However, a great personality, some confidence, and some humor are all great things that you can have. You define yourself as a funny guy - that's really big. Don't spend so much time thinking about what you don't have and think about what you do have and what you can have.

On never having a girlfriend: I don't know what this will mean to you, but I'm a senior in high school too and I've never really been in a relationship either. I always end up in flings or "open" relationships or things like that, but never had a real boyfriend. I know girls (and guys) of various levels of attraction, some very unattractive and some beautiful, and I have to say that happy relationships are not based off of looks. Meaning, I know some really unattractive people in relationships who are very happy, and some really beautiful people who have never dated before. It's mostly about finding someone who you mesh with. Don't get too hung up on the one girl - there are so many people out there, and I often feel a little lonely or like I'm never going to meet any new guys so what is the point.. but I always end up either meeting someone new or looking at someone I know in a new light. I'm a relatively happy, flirty person, and I don't regret not dating anyone so far because I haven't found anyone that I really wanted to be with. All these flings and hookups and open relationships suffice for me, I'm not in any rush.

TLDR: You're young, don't worry, be happy.

 

[Brimtastic]

Alright, I think Its best we just call it quits for this thread. Thank you everybody who were being sincere.

 

[Mad World]

Don't worry about what others think. Only worry about your weight if it's negatively impacting your health.

People should love you for who you are - not for what you look like. If they are that superficial, they're not worth your time. This includes everyone (such as friends) - not just girls.

 

[Brimtastic]

Loose weight. You seem to have no confidence and being fat won't help, so do something about it. You can't complain about a problem when you're not helping yourself.

I don't think you read everything I said but that's okay.

Dude, don't mind him--he hates fat people. Pay him no attention. In fact, in general be wary of what people are saying to you in a thread like this: a lot of people aren't going to be expressing sympathy, they're going to be working an agenda. You can get some good advice, but just...keep your guard up.

Oh yeah because being fat is exactly what the girls want, y'know, showing how it shows you exercise well, eat moderately and take care of yourself... Plus with the problem being the "FAT funny guy", I'm sure that being fat is part of the issue at hand. Plus if you loose weight, you'll probably feel literally better, and better in yourself.
As for not paying attention to people and them working an agenda - Cheeze is overweight himself and wants to see no problem in it. Why? Because if there isn't a problem, then it doesn't need solving. How's that for working an angle?
Really though, if you want to change your situation, you're going to have to make first move. If you are unhappy with your weight, you can always do something about it. I was unhappy with how I looked, so I'm sorting it out, and it helps a lot.

The problem is I'm not unhappy about my weight (250-260 pounds, you tell me if that's terrible or not). It's just that my friends tell me that my weight is problem. It indirectly affects me I guess.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

*Ahem* Anyway, on topic: I've never had one. Probably because every woman I've seen has the charm, charisma, beauty, and intelligence of a deep sea anglerfish.

ALL of them have had ALL those qualities? I highly doubt that.

OT: No clue bro. I've never been fat, and it's worked out alright for me. Try losing weight and sort of reinventing yourself. High school is ending for you, if you come into college like a bigshot you're likely to be one.

 

[President Moocow]

Second, looks are important to everyone, when considering a physical relationship. What differs is what type of appearance you're attracted to, and how much of the total sum of attraction you personally base on looks. It's only a matter of personal preference as to what you want and how bad you want it.

There are plenty of really great people out there who do care about looks. It's fairy tale thinking to say that anyone worth being with doesn't care about looks or anyone who thinks they are important isn't--it's just a way to deflect guilt over the knowledge that looks matter to all of us, we've just been brainwashed to think that's shallow. It's not. It's when a person thinks good looks will make up for a bad personality that a person is being shallow. Wanting someone who turns on both your brain and your body? That's just being honest with yourself that you're a human being.

Nope, incorrect! For guys, a girl's looks matter more than her personality (now that doesn't mean personality is not important!). For girls, a guy's personality matters more than his looks (likewise, it doesn't mean looks don't matter, they definitely get you noticed, but most of the time girls find a guy with confidence VERY attractive even if he's not physically attractive.

The thing that causes the misconception is that attractive guys are more often confident and ugly guys are more often very insecure, so people end up with this bullshit mentality of "oh I'm an unattractive guy, so I will never get a girlfriend in life because all that matters is looks" and incidentally, it's that VERY MENTALITY that fucks up your chances of ever meeting someone. And that's not taking into account that attractiveness is subjective and varies among societies. Or the fact that there are things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and no, I don't mean something retardedly drastic, sometimes just a hair-cut or a new shirt can make a difference)

 

[RatRace123]

In Highschool, relationships aren't true or meaningful (sorry, but it's true)

It's just lust coupled with a desire for an affirmation of character through means of intimacy with another human being.

Don't sweat it, your friends will break off their relationships and they'll be as cynical as you are now. By then you'll be happy and content, and may look on with a shallow happiness at the miserable state in their lives.

 

[WorldCritic]

I just suggest hanging out with girls that you like more but not so much that you get the "stalker" label.

 

[lolandrew4]

I was a skinny loser introverted minority. But when High School came around I decided to change things; I lifted weighted weights to get buff, I became more engaged with others and activities, and now 2 years later I'm a Asian teenager who has lots of friends, is somewhat buff and is going on dates with the girl of my life. Change is good