Relationships and life.

[Baby Tea]

Now days, I am bitter towards the success of my friends and their relationships with their girlfriends. I feel cynical and cold. I have come to realization that no matter what I do/say I will always be the "fat funny guy". I find no point in "being nice" to these girls, for I will be the same thing to them no matter how I act. Right now I feel like this life I'm living in is just a joke and I'm the only one laughing...I don't want to laugh anymore.

Well this says a bit about your character.
You should be nice and funny and kind of people because it's the right thing to do, not because you'll get something out of it. If a girl doesn't like you 'that way', then you can't fault her for that. I bet I could parade a huge pile of girls past you that you wouldn't date, no matter how fun, funny, or nice they were. If the spark isn't there, isn't not there, and it's not anyone's fault.

You know what you should do? Just keep being the nice, good guy.
I knew a guy like that. Great friend of my brother. Never had a girl friend, because he was the quirky, goofy guy that girls found hilarious, but not 'dateable'. Well he just was who he was, and eventually, at the age of 30, he found a girl, got married, and is now 32 with a beautiful baby son, and couldn't be happier.

So you can either be a cynical, selfish jerk who isn't nice anymore, but used to be, and will never find anyone.
Or you can be a great, nice guy to everyone and eventually find that special girl who loves you for it.

Sorry to be a bit harsh, but wallowing in self pity and cliche imagery is never going to get you anywhere.

 

[likalaruku]

Now days, I am bitter towards the success of my friends and their relationships with their girlfriends. I feel cynical and cold. I have come to realization that no matter what I do/say I will always be the "fat funny guy". I find no point in "being nice" to these girls, for I will be the same thing to them no matter how I act. Right now I feel like this life I'm living in is just a joke and I'm the only one laughing...I don't want to laugh anymore.

Just look at everything that's wrong with your friend's sucesses then. IT's like...."Sure she has that gorgeous luxury bathroom you see in rich people's homes, but she can never marry the father of her son because of his credit" & "Sure he loves his job & looks good & has lots of energy, but he has abysmal taste in men & that looser he's dating is really going to piss on his life."

Then look at the positive aspects in your life, like...."Sure I'm a little overweight, unemployed, can't drive, & can't stand the sight of the sun, but I don't have to work, don't have to make an income, don;t have to pay insurance, bills, or buy gas, someone else pays my buys me food & entertainment, all I have to do is cook dinner, clean the house once a week, & make sure grama takes her pills. Then I have all the free time in the world."

 

[Hotshots]

Well this has made my day,i have a beautiful wife and daughter.
Hanno una vita merda ragazzo grasso.

 

[PeeSoup]

Warning: this is going to sound really cliche, but trust me on this. I have ovaries and I totally know about these sort of things.

Your stock will go up. In general the traits girls find desirable in high school are vastly different than the ones we look for a little later in life. Work on yourself and the women will seek you out. Go to post-secondary school, keep that sense of humor, and never let yourself feel desperate or needy. Women can smell desperation a mile away and it's a huge turn off. Confidence is key.

Also, try to make friends with females (even if they aren't interested in you romantically). Female friends can be a huge asset as they often have a plethora of friends (who also happen to be female) and you better believe (most) girls LOVE to set people up. Female friends will brag you up to their friends, tell them how funny/smart/whatever you are and help you get your foot in the door.

 

[Pegghead]

Honestly until later in life (Especially while in high school) relationships don't really matter. And it is easier than you'd think to lose weight and change the opinion others hold of you. Though cheer up man, not everyone here is some kind of dating wonder spring chicken.

 

[Zildjin81]

In school, just friends is great (if you don't really care about sex).

Many good female friends > girlfriend

 

[BonsaiK]

First off, I want to apologize for wasting your time if none of this makes sense to you, the reader. I don't post much stuff. I just need to get some opinions and I find it quite difficult to articulate how I feel about this subject to friends or family. Your comments are always greatly appreciated.

Anyway, to tell you a little about myself, I am a pretty fat and ugly senior in high school. I have never had a girlfriend nor does it look that likely that I will in some time. In most other aspects of my life I feel confident in my capability. Just not this one.

I never really attempted to get a girlfriend until a year ago. Where I met a girl and I actually thought it was possible that she liked me and all that jazz (I even wrote her poems, yes it is stupid/creepy now that I look back on it, though she did like them). Only to find out she only thought of me as a "nice, funny guy"...

Now days, I am bitter towards the success of my friends and their relationships with their girlfriends. I feel cynical and cold. I have come to realization that no matter what I do/say I will always be the "fat funny guy". I find no point in "being nice" to these girls, for I will be the same thing to them no matter how I act. Right now I feel like this life I'm living in is just a joke and I'm the only one laughing...I don't want to laugh anymore.

This problem has been answered in the Relationship Problem Thread, which is at the following link: ----> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=17#4191524

 

[skywalkerlion]

Persue a girl more aggressivly. I do not mean physicly but make sure that there is no mistake that you want to be more! just a suggestion.

Even though this is 10x harder then the friendly approach (cos I can relate), I agree.

 

[Riku'sTwilight]

In the back of my head, I keep thinking, if one day I came into school completely skinny, how would girls in general treat me?

Dude, I registered just to comment on this post.
Anyways I know your situation, I have been there. Im not good on the whole conversion rate but I was 17 stone when I was 17, and in the same position as you.

I wanted to get a girlfriend and thought my weight was the problem, so I slimmed down dramatically. In a year I lost about 5 stone (which is unhealthy weight loss btw) and at the start when I walked into my school skinny, yeah people noticed.
Im not going to lie to you, the girls did notice. I may have played it wrong but some really good looking girls did start talking to my friends about how i lost so much weight and if I was single etc. I think I may have just taken too long to ask any of them.

However not all stories have a happy outline, since that year (ooh 4 years ago now) I have still not had a relationship. Because I moved on with my life, went to a different place and people didnt know the old 'fat' me, so they only see me for what I am now.

However I have had some experiences, also not going to lie. The girls I got with tell me that I am not usually the type they go for and that they go for larger men (Note, these girls were pretty good looking btw)

So bottom line is that whatever shape or size you are, someone out there will find you attractive, no matter what.
Its just a matter of time, well in my case it was anyway.