Respect

[Seldon2639]

So, I just had a kind of revelation. Recently my girlfriends grandma, who is 84, while we were at my girlfriends sisters house who happens to live with her boyfriend, who happens to be a very very good friend of mine, rudely said to me, "Hats are for outdoors, anytime you are indoors you need to take off a hat." I regularly wear a hat, and anytime I have been inside my buddy's house I have had a hat on. Now, I listened to her and respectively took off my hat for the evening. Since it was not her house, nor her right to request something like this would you, fellow Escapists have done the same thing. In retrospect I feel that I should not have, and will not in the future, follow her wishes unless it be in her own house.

What would/will you guys do?

Really, it is rude to wear a hat indoors. It may be antediluvian, it may seem silly to you, but that's the way polite society functions.

On the other hand, I've been trying to parse out the family tree here. Your girlfriend's (granddaughter A) grandmother, visiting her granddaughter and her granddaughter's boyfriend (at the boyfriend's house, in which granddaughter B and boyfriend B cohabitate), told you (boyfriend A) to take off your hat. Is that right?

Frankly, I have more respect for the elderly, and would have expected your girlfriend, her sister, or the sister's boyfriend to back the grandmother up. If my girlfriend's grandmother told me to take off a hat, I'd take off the damn hat and sheepishly apologize. Respect and politeness aren't contingent on whose house you happen to be in at the time.

 

[Chrono180]

The thing about old people is that they come from a time when morality, bravery, honour, duty and respect were words with real meaning, and back then kids respected their elders because they recognized that older people were valuable, and far more wise than they were. On top of that, you'd get a smack if you were an uppity little shit who wouldn't take his hat off indoors. Taking your hat off is an ancient sign of respect, showing that you aren't hiding your identity/are comfortable leaving your head unprotected. Same thing with shaking hands, it shows you aren't holding a weapon in them.

Just respect your elders mate, they're better than you or me.

So, you think elders are "moral?" What about the blacks who were discriminted against and lynched because of the color of their skin? What about the homosexuals who were abused and jailed because of their unfortunate fate to have been born different? What about the tens of thousands of Japanese Americans who were placed in internment camps during WWII? What about the Native americans who had their land, heritage and life stolen from them? WHAT ABOUT THEM, HUH?

Our elders are worse than us, not better.

 

[whycantibelinus]

So, I just had a kind of revelation. Recently my girlfriends grandma, who is 84, while we were at my girlfriends sisters house who happens to live with her boyfriend, who happens to be a very very good friend of mine, rudely said to me, "Hats are for outdoors, anytime you are indoors you need to take off a hat." I regularly wear a hat, and anytime I have been inside my buddy's house I have had a hat on. Now, I listened to her and respectively took off my hat for the evening. Since it was not her house, nor her right to request something like this would you, fellow Escapists have done the same thing. In retrospect I feel that I should not have, and will not in the future, follow her wishes unless it be in her own house.

What would/will you guys do?

How can i respect you if you whine about something as miniscule as that, no offence.

I'm not whining, I was reflecting on a situation that I feel I should have acted differently in and asking the community what they would do. I wasn't asking for a critique on my own personal manners.

 

[Gxas]

I don't know if i respect the old mean ***** enough to follow her wishes outside of her own home.

Does your girlfriend know you say this about her 84-year-old grandmother?

Is it worth putting your relationship on the line because of a fucking hat?

 

[whycantibelinus]

I don't know if i respect the old mean ***** enough to follow her wishes outside of her own home.

Does your girlfriend know you say this about her 84-year-old grandmother?

Is it worth putting your relationship on the line because of a fucking hat?

Yes she knows my opinion of her grandmother and she shares it, so the relationship isn't on the line.

It's not about the hat, I don't give a shit about the hat, it's mostly the fact that she was so rude about it. She could have asked me nicely and then if I didn't comply it would be legitimate to rudely come after me about it.

She doesn't know how I was raised, I was never taught this rule growing up, I had heard it in passing and randomly throughout my life but I had never applied it to myself and this is the first time anyone has requested this. It's that she doesn't respect where I'm coming from and thinks that everyone should know what she wants and fucking do it. I think that's more rude than wearing a fucking hat indoors.

 

[Johnn Johnston]

*snip*
FECKING YOUNG PEOPLE! They've been bastards for the last two and a half millenia!

Ok, that post was a pure crowning moment of awesome, right there.

 

[Carlston]

So, I just had a kind of revelation. Recently my girlfriends grandma, who is 84, while we were at my girlfriends sisters house who happens to live with her boyfriend, who happens to be a very very good friend of mine, rudely said to me, "Hats are for outdoors, anytime you are indoors you need to take off a hat." I regularly wear a hat, and anytime I have been inside my buddy's house I have had a hat on. Now, I listened to her and respectively took off my hat for the evening. Since it was not her house, nor her right to request something like this would you, fellow Escapists have done the same thing. In retrospect I feel that I should not have, and will not in the future, follow her wishes unless it be in her own house.

What would/will you guys do?

Ask them why they are afriad of a hat indoors. The maritime tradition of removing a cap when entering the Captain cabin is long dead. Who is this person Captain Ahab?

 

[Sulu]

You have no need of wearing a hat indoors. It doesn't make you look fly and chances are the house isn't cold or bathed in blistering sunlight. You wouldn't keep wearing a rain mack indoors would you?

 

[Aerodyamic]

Did I miss the Ann Landers column where she mentioned that wearing hats was polite? I was raised to understand that it was considered good manners and "a sign of good breeding" (whatever the hell THAT means) to remove your headwear once inside a building.

 

[Notion]

I'd just take the hat off. I normally do when I go inside anyway.

 

[Dahni]

basically, I will use roughly what Marcus Brigstocke had to say about this sort of thing.

If you're 80 it doesn't mean you deserve my respect because it just means you haven't done something interesting enough to kill you.


So yeah, I'd have kept my hat on if I were you. If it was her house I would probably have taken it off but if it is not her home, I wouldnt think she had the right to tell me what I could and could not do.

Its not because of their age that I'll ever respect older people, I only respect those who have done something which commands respect, like fought in a war or done something truly noble.

 

[Pegghead]

I'd just do what She says, it's not very good to tick off an old person, especially with all their connections.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

I'd say it was disrespectful of her to get on to you about wearing a hat...

 

[Sad Robot]

I'd just do what She says, it's not very good to tick off an old person, especially with all their connections.

You make it sound like she's in The Mob or something.

 

[Pegghead]

I'd just do what She says, it's not very good to tick off an old person, especially with all their connections.

You make it sound like she's in The Mob or something.

Spoiler: You

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