Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Athol]

Granted, you are now SEVERLY lactose intolerant

I wish to destroy reality

 

[Urgh76]

Granted, have a nice eternity in the bowels between dimensions.

I wish a wish for a fish, oh so delicious and nutritious

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

Granted.... It flies away.

I wish I didn't have to sleep!

 

[steeple]

granted, you never dream again

I wish I had *brings finger to mouth* one billions dollars!

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but you can't ever bring your finger down from your mouth, or else you lose the money.

I wish I had a pig.

 

[steeple]

granted, now all you want to do is splice his dna with that of an elephant, but you cant, and slowly it drives you mad, until you devote your life to crossing the two's dna to create a half elephant half pig abomination, which will have 6 asses...

I wish for the perfect trolling idea

 

[Robert632]

Granted. However, after doing this hateful act of spite, you end up hating yourself so much that you commit suicide by woodchipper.

I wish I would stop opening boxes in my mom's room, finding her...toys.

 

[steeple]

granted, they're now laid out in the open, happy?!

I wish to claim india for myself...

 

[pyramid head grape]

It's now lifeless! D:

I wish I asked for this! :3

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, a giant :3 emoticon crushes you IRL.

[HEADING=1]:3[/HEADING]

[sub][sub][sub][sub]*crush crush crush*[/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub]

I wish for more Escapist in my life.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you are now one with the Escapist.. however, the Escapist feels the need to see other people.

I wish for a bowl of chicken noodle soup. And a dog trained to bring me a pipe and my slippers. And the newspaper.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. This dog turns out to be a robot dog, who grows in intelligence and eventually gaining sentience and taking over the world. Then, you will never get your pipe and slippers again, and you can just forget about that soup.

I wish for a chair.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted.

There's your chair.

I wish for more Far Side cartoons.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you lose your sense of humour, so they're not funny to you anymore.

I wish for snow.

 

[steeple]

granted, you cant see any (because they're too far!)

EDIT: granted, but because you're a terrible ninja, you're stuck on the top of a frozen mountain with only a york pepper-mint patty as food!

I wish for better jokes...

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you're the only one who gets them.

I wish I was good at dancing.

 

[steeple]

@tea: I could live with that, most of my jokes currently only make me laugh anyway

OT: granted, now every time you dance you light up on fire

I wish my hand was a dolphin

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You just lost an arm in exchange for an animal that has been connected to raping humans. Have fun.

I wish I could remember everything ever at the same time.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but it's too much information for your brain to handle, so you just sit there staring into space for the rest of your life.

I wish I could have a cat.

@Steeple: Don't ruin my evil plan! XD

 

[steeple]

@tea: but where's the fun in that? >

OT: granted, but it's evil and turns you into a slave to bring him milk every day and scratch it's belly on mere request (you know, like any other cat)

I wish I could have a pet wolf, that would not eat me or any other human being (unless I want them to be eaten, of course)