Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[JLML]

Granted, now you just transform everything into cookies instead, secretly plotting to turn the people making the wishes to the dark side.

I wish I didn't like cookies and the dark side so much.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted, but you then figure out that the light side is boring and has no sweets whatsoever. Seriously, it's not fun over here.

I wish I was a part of the dark side.

 

[JLML]

Granted, but as an insider agent infiltrating the light side, living by all their virtues and what not.

I wish cake.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you are now made into a cake. No one wishes to eat you because they think you're just a lie, so you grow stale and moldy.

I wish for more snow!

 

[JLML]

Granted, you're now a snowman. You'll melt (and die) at springtime.

I wish I was awesome?

 

[Philol]

Granted, but no one else thinks you are.

I wish I had some tea (I'm quite parched)

 

[ThePS1Fan]

Granted, but the tea is made with salt water.

I wish I could warp reality.

 

[olicool10]

Granted, but people now fear you in respect.

I wish for a star to blow up!

 

[cameron112497]

Granted, your favorite artist has just exploded.

I wish I had a computer that allowed me to play every game ever made in the past or the future.

 

[JLML]

Granted, but there's no monitor, keyboard, mouse or other peripheral you can plug into it. In fact, it doesn't take any disks, doesn't have internet or anything. No USB connections, no line-in, no nothing. Just a power cord.

I wish I was a bit less evil.

 

[ThePS1Fan]

Granted, you are now a Disney villain.

I wish for no more generic crime dramas (C.S.I, Criminal Minds, ect.)

 

[keideki]

Granted, but now all the empty TV slots are full of reality shows about the jersey shore

I wish there was no more school

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Welcome back to the Dark Ages. Hope you enjoy your stay. ;P

I wish for my life to be short and unsatisfying.

 

[keideki]

Granted, but now you have to be reborn endlessly living the same life over and over and over.

I wish I was the leader of an expedition to the moon.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Unfortunately, your terrible leadership skills lead to a space mutiny. You are jettisoned from the airlock.

I wish for this wish to be granted.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but the genie who grants it then goes all beserk and murderous.

I wish for a lion to be taped to Louis Spence, like on Saints Row 3

 

[JLML]

Granted, but it bites your hand off whilst you're taping, thus making it half-taped. It easily gets free and bites your other hand and a foot off.

I wish that whatever happens, I could always eat some oranges and it is K.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but the oranges are GM killer oranges.

I wish for a cruise.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

Granted, but it was that one that crashed recently.

I wish for a good job

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted. It's so good that other people get jobs and you get the same shift as a axe weilding murderer.

I wish for something bad to happen.