Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted. That cruise ship fell onto your underwater bachelor pad.

I wish for one extra button on my keyboard.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. It's easily accessible and deletes everything on your computer instantly if you press it or if your cat presses it.

I wish for more red buttons.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, you get a button which targets all of the world's nukes onto your house. And it's so darn irresistable to touch...

I wish for Reese Witherspoon.

 

[JLML]

Granted, he kills you.

I wish that the snow would've came a bit earlier than today. Seriously, what the fuck is this shit? First snow, at the end of January?!?! IN SWEDEN?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but the snow melts with the 40 degrees Celsius days your getting now.

I wish it would stop raining.

 

[him over there]

Granted, the rain stops and the clouds part, sending your land into weeks of drought

I wish I had a bowl of icecream

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, there's a bowl made of icecream in your cupboard, but buy the time you get to it, it's melted into a puddle.

I wish Winnipeg would win this game.

 

[cameron112497]

Granted, both teams are no match to the town of Winnipeg as the buildings crush the competition.

I wish for a refreshing glass of Mug brand rootbeer.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted. You get a glass made from root beer, that evaporates in your hands.

I wish someone would make me some breakfast.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted enjoy your green eggs and ham. The green might be poisonous, I'm not sure.

I wish this day had more hours left in it.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but it never ends!

I wish that I could get a better than crap desk for my computer to go on.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted. It's now dog sick.

I wish for my drink to refill itself.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but it refills so much it spills and gets you all wet.

I wish for Vermin Supreme to become president of the USA!

 

[JLML]

Granted, but the USA gets annexed by EU and thus there's no president left.

I wish today would've gone very differently.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, it's the day you die.

I wish for my new desk to be set up already!

 

[JLML]

Granted, but it falls apart and is unrepairable.

I wish above wisher didn't have such a hunger-inducing name.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but now it makes you thirsty!

I wish people would stop getting hungry over my name!

 

[SckizoBoy]

Granted, but only because we've eaten you!

I wish to have an infinite supply of Arabica bean coffee...(!)

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but you die from sleeplessness because you have so much coffee.

I wish that angry parents don't get angry about derpie's showing in MLP.

 

[JLML]

Granted, now they get angry at you instead.

I wish I could change history.