Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Yureina]

Granted, it shall be in development longer than DNF.

I wish to play a fun game tonight.

 

[Sacman]

Granted... but the idea of fun is subjective so you will be playing Sonic The Hedgehog 2006...<.<

I wish to go see Radiohead live...

 

[Yureina]

Granted, but you have to take a cat with you.

I wish that i'd never see adverts again.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You time travelled back to the time of cave people. No more Adverts!

I wish for a phone that can also stew carrots.

 

[Yureina]

Granted, and you will be forced to eat the carrots as well.

I wish for someone to play gameys with.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Your playing with a chronic masturbater, who insists on playing the most derpracved porn games possible.

I wish for cut hedges.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it was done with a redhead lawnmower. (Aussie slang translation: Gasoline and a match)

I wish for a happy life.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but you must spend it in Slough. (Read "Slough" as "Limbo")

I wish for Rome 2: Total War

 

[Yureina]

Granted, but it is buggy as hell.

I wish for more wins in Shogun 2 multiplayer.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted, but it's the last thing you'll ever do.

I wish food poisoning didn't exist.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, it's replaced by food assasination.

I wish for another ZP video.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted, Yahtzee wears a bikini whilst dissing your favourite game.

I wish I had a get out of jail free card.

 

[Yureina]

Granted, but it doesn't work if you are actually in jail.

I wish for a better computer.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. Too bad it's incompatible with all your old games.

I wish to know the truth about Atlantis.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted. It doesn't exist.

I wish for a Zelda game that isn't OoT again.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

Granted but for some reason it is never released in your region.

I wish to forget the story of bastion so I can enjoy playing it again.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but you also forget how to operate the platform you played it on.

I wish I didn't lag so much during PVP battles in Dark Souls.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. The lag transfers to every single other part of the game but PVP.

I wish I could fit into air ducts.

Spoiler: Also

100 pages, let's pointlessly celebrate! Yaaaaaaay!!!!

 

[him over there]

Granted, you can "fit as in you are a few micrometers short of being the same size as them and can hardly move.

I wish for twinkies, lots and lots of twinkies!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, your stomach explodes with twinkies.

I wish for lemons!