Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You get stuck in the dream world forever.

I wish I could access the dream world more freely.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

Granted, but doing so turns you into hippo food.

I wish for a massive toblerone.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. It cracks one of your molars.

I wish I had a universal golden skeleton key.

 

[Zepherus14]

Grant, but it can only be used by skeletons...PREPARE TO DIE!!

I wish for... nothing. Muhahahaha

 

[M0rp43vs]

Granted, now there is nothing.
Forever....

I wish for 7 zimbabwe dollars

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You get scammed for £2000.

I wish for a worthy lieutenant.

 

[Verzin]

Granted, but he has a horrible case of irritable bowel syndrome.

I wish for a gland that secretes caffeine.

 

[David Bjur]

Granted, but you don't have a male genitalia.

I wish to be a smart person.

 

[Verzin]

Granted, but your smart new brain is also psychotic.

I wish I had had a subway card with 10 million points on it.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, the next day all subways are decommissioned.

I wish for a copy of Spore.

 

[Verzin]

Granted, but your computers power supply explodes when you install it, killing you.

I wish to eat the tastiest non-toxic sandwich in the world.

 

[him over there]

Granted, it is a micro meter stall and lasts you a few nano seconds.

I wish Home Movies wasn't cancelled.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. It was postponed indefinitely.

I wish I could walk like spiderman.

 

[Verzin]

granted, but an accident renders you a paraplegic.

I wish I could render my own reality.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. You're transported to another dimension, cutting your reality off from the rest of ours.

I wish I could travel through time.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You can only travel through time, meaning you can't move in any physical sense.

I wish I could study more.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, that's all you do from now on. You eventually starve to death.

I wish for Coke and Maltesers.

 

[him over there]

Granted, you get maltesers floating in flat coke.

I wish homestar runner got a cartoon deal.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, turns out to be total bollocks.

I wish to be a Cybernetic Dragon with a kind heart.