Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. the glass breaks, and it floods beer.

I wish for... a kid.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you

Is that Bach?

I wish for ICE CREAM!

 

[onewheeled]

Granted, but it's flavored with the blood of your ancestors.

I wish for Keith to shut up.

 

[Evil Smurf]

the cake is a lie poisoned cake. You die of dysentery.
I wish for a world without spelling or grammar errors

 

[Evil Smurf]

Here is your top hat sir. Did you want It on fire? No.....? Too bad son,".
I wish for a sandvich

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted, but you also got backstabed
I want a flamethrower

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. The recoil ends up breaking your shoulder. And you don't have a Razorback, so you get backstabbed.

I wish for the Engie's PDA.

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted, but you are on randomizer and that is all you get.
I want fish to hit people with

 

[Verzin]

Granted, but it stinks so badly it somehow causes Cardiac arrest in your victims, and you are imprisoned for murder.

I wish I had pheromones that made me attractive to females.

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted but you forgot to mention what species so I sprayed you with a pheromone that will make cats wild for you.
I wish for a car

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. Once you started driving, you noticed that there's a bomb attached under it, and if you go under 40 mph, it will explode.

I wish for an action movie

 

[Evil Smurf]

Granted. It is directed by Uwe Boll and produced by Micheal Bay. it is so bad you bleed to death after watching it.
I wish for a monkey

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. It plays constant sadistic pranks.

I wish for UNLIMITED POWER.

 

[Evil Smurf]

just stick a knife in an active toaster bro
I wish for the only thing that I will ever hear is nyan cat

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You become sick of it, then hate it utterly and completely and go insane.

I wish I could temporarily null gravity.

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted. Aliens come and make you sex slaves however.
I wish I could be naked in public and it be the norm for people

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted, but you are constantly followed by a swarm of flying dicks which go after your butt.

I wish I could mind control anyone with a weak will.

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted. You mind control a scientist and make him build a robot, thus bringing judgement day.
I wish for party!

 

[zombiekiller1907]

You have the awesomest party ever!!!!
You get arrested hours later because Illegal drugs were found in your house. And because you were too loud.

I wish that everybody is used to being nude in public and nobody questioned why.

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted. Earth has been taken over by Kim Jon Un who insists on playing the sims using people as the characters. His first move was to install a nude mod.
I wish for Phil Spector not to be in jail