Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Rhagos]

Granted. He gets crushed by a chunk of space debris.

I wish for supreme intellect.

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted. You are so much smarter then anyone else on the planet universe that you hate everyone because of their stupidity and it turns you depressed. You commit suicide!

I wish to be friends with an "adult actress"

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted. You are now friends with Charles Manson.
I wish I had a pet cat

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted but you now change your name to Wallace. Call the dog Gromit.
I wish for the sentient captcha to take over the world

 

[Evil Smurf]

Yeah.........about that. I fed him to Gromit your dog.

I wish for a Wii U

 

[Flamezdudes]

Granted but you can only play 5 seconds of it.

I wish for lots of Evangelion merchandise.

 

[enrampagement]

granted, but its all melted into one horrible plastic lump.

i wish the game of thrones series was more like the books

 

[enrampagement]

granted, but its all melted into one horrible plastic lump.

i wish the game of thrones series was more like the books

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted, it is now more like the twillight books.
I wish @enrampagement would stop double posting.

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, you scared away the new guy.... happy now??


I wish for more escapists.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, they are all trolls and everyone hates you for ruining the forums.

I really wish, to have a fish, so juicy sweet.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Congratulations! You are pregnant......WITH A FISH!
I wish my facial hair was more mature.

 

[Evil Smurf]

you have the pubic hair of a twelve year old. and the facial hair of a twelve year old. Infact you are now twelve years old.

I wish for organisation skills

 

[aprildog18]

Granted, but that's only because you now have OCD.

I wish for super duper deductive skills.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Granted you now also have cocaine addiction like Sherlock Holms.
I wish for the ALL THE SPINNY CHAIRS!

 

[Evil Smurf]

You get so much love that you become a smug arsehole.
I wish for something blue.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Granted. however you have to decapitate everyone you know. (Highlander reference)
I wish to marry Alice for she has "large tracts of land" (Monty Python reference)

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted but Steve Wilson refuses.
I want to sing!

 

[Evil Smurf]

Granted. You are also shot like a bird.
I wish to eat a bird

 

[JokerboyJordan]

Granted, but the bird remains alive and pecks it's way out of you from the inside.

I wish I had a laptop that would not freeze.