Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[AwkwardTurtle]

Granted, but it soon replaced by the popularized rule 34.5 which states: If it exists there is LIVE ACTION porn of it. (Oh god the horror.)

I wish I never had to put in a captcha to post.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. You get a penny which self destructs in 1 hour.
I wish lurkers posted more often.

 

[LynxParadox]

Granted. all lurkers are banned the next day for starting multiple flame wars across all boards

I Wish for better video games

 

[Roxas1359]

Granted, they are all made by Bethesda and they have more bugs than Rachel.
[sub]Only one who would get that is Lynx[/sub]
I wish for a new PS3 controller.

 

[Moderated]

It appears very high above you, and falls on you and you die.
I wish I wish I was a fish, but not a fish that would become a dish, a fish that would live as a fish.

 

[Roxas1359]

Granted, you won't become a fish that is eaten by humans, but by sharks instead.
I wish my cellphone would work.

 

[LynxParadox]

granted, your phone becomes a person and gets a job at McDonald

I wish I had some candy

 

[AwkwardTurtle]

Granted, a good book is given to your next door neighbor and even though they insist on telling "Hey, I've been reading this AMAZING book lately!", they also refuse to tell you anything about the book.

I wish I could just magically shave my face.

 

[LynxParadox]

Granted, rusty shaving blades begin to brutally shave your face

I wish Rainbows to be made of skittles

 

[AwkwardTurtle]

Granted, every time a rainbow appears it is made out of skittles...however every time it happens skittles start to fall from the sky and into lakes and rivers. Eventually, skittles start to fill the ocean and pollute the waters. No fish could withstand such fruity flavors, and all the creatures of the sea die out. Mankind swiftly follows.

I wish my glasses would stop getting dirty.

 

[LynxParadox]

Granted, your glasses are vaporized

I wish for sunkiss soda

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. After drinking the sun decides to kiss you.
I wish for more time.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

Granted, you waste it browsing, and not contributing, the Escapist Forums.

I wish for a bottle of Tentacle Grape.

Spoiler: Image related.

 

[LynxParadox]

Granted, the movie was so damn good you went blind and deft.

I wish to never get sunburns

 

[AwkwardTurtle]

Granted the sun finally dies out causing the apocalypse of 2012 that so many seem to expect to happen. The world is in complete and utter chaos, but hey now you won't get sunburned anymore.

I wish life had cheat codes.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but they glitch your life cartridge and nobody can play you ever again.

I wish for more cool songs about the internet.