Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[DotSlash]

Granted, it takes over your mind and RULES THE WORLD.

I wish for less captcha.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, captcha is removed and spambots plague the Escapist.

I wish for a full night of sleep.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted, you had all five minutes of sleep near the North Pole as the sun went down for the last time for the next five months.

I wish for a fish.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted here is a red one and a blue one.

I wish for a beer.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Welcome to Mars! You brought a space suit, right?

I wish this wish will not be granted!

 

[DotSlash]

Granted, your wish would've gotten you everything you've ever wanted.

I wish for Spotify.

 

[MrCollins]

Your wish is granted but you can no longer afford to pay for the internet as well.

I wish for some sleep

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted you sleep through a parade in your honor.

I wish for a garden.

 

[MrCollins]

You get a garden, but you live in Scotland as thus can never appreciate it by relaxing in it in the sunshine.

I wish for a tactical FPS

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish for world peace!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted the world is now in pieces.

I wish for a never ending summer.

 

[Sacman]

Granted... the world has now stopped spinning... and everyone is dead...<.<

I wish for a a sex robot...

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish horrible things will happen to who ever grants this wish.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted I get horribly drunk and then horribly rich.

I wish for better handwriting.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted, you write the prettiest comic sans ever seen.

I wish this wish will be granted in the way I intended and not in the just in the what I said.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, but deep down, you intended the wish to be horrible for you in every way possible.

I wish my dog would stop barking.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted he is now eating every one of your socks.

I wish for a glass of rum.

 

[The Rookie Gamer]

Granted, the rum is really HCL.

I wish for a serum that will grant me perfect physical fitness forever.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. The side effect is that it will make you incredibly stupid.

I wish for more science classes. MORE SCIENCE.