Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's mostly dark ages science.

I wish for the power to dance all night.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, you have the most extreme dancing endurance ever held by a mortal, but in your dancing craze you forget you are mortal and dance for days until you die of dehydration.

I wish for superpowers.

 

[The Rookie Gamer]

Granted, your superpowers cause you to die within a year due to the strain on your body.

I wish for an immunity to disease.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted! A marble statue is unaffected by any virus, bacteria, or allergy that touches it!

I wish I could write wishes in such a way that there is no exploitable loopholes in them.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Granted, but you immediately lose your fingers and the ability to make your wishes known to others.

I wish to be the most powerful being in the universe.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted, your alone in an empty reality where you can never die. Have fun with eternity!

I wish to have a control of so other wish granting being that doesn't actively try to harm me.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, it hurts everyone you love instead.

I wish for gambling problems.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

You won BIG! Really big! You got second place in the lottery! Ceaser's Legion lottery! You lucky bastard, you just got broken legs as everyone else got rape, torture, and crucifixion!

I wish my life was miserable, only bad, and horrible things would happen to me!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted have all the Naruto hentai in the world!

I wish I didn't grant that wish.

 

[Fuzzed]

Granted, but I also granted you that wish again.

I wish my car was a sphinx with tank tracks.

 

[username sucks]

Granted! It is 100 gallons per mile.

I wish I could turn invisible.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted! Oh wait! Light goes straight through your eyes! Your blind! What is that noise...

I wish for a wish granting being that grants wishes on my intentions and does not twist my words so they give me negative results.

 

[Roxas1359]

Granted, Grunts from Halo will now shower you in plasma grenades. Oh and I turned on the Cowbell skull.

I wish for more vacation time.

 

[MrCollins]

I grant your wish, you get endless vacation time as you are fired.

I wish for good games in 2013.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but due to power outages every time you go to save, blackout.

I wish for a woolly knit hat.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted but it is knitted in wire-wool, causing untold scratchiness.

I wish for a quick death.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but the nuclear explosion kills a lot of people you love too.

I wish for more naps like the one I just had.