Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[username sucks]

Granted. It was 2 calories of flavorless nutrients.

I wish for a longer beard.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted, it gets a mind of it's own and kills you will it... then it eats your genitals in front of your family...

I wish for... more pepsi.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted you get a lake of Coca-Cola, because it's all the same right?

I wish for a comfier chair.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Granted. You now look like an '80s porn star.

I wish they'd make a Sopranos movie.

 

[Roxas1359]

Granted, it is the worst movie of all time and leads to the death of 4 people. Oh and Kevin Costner plays the leading role.

I wish for another hamburger.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Granted, you sleep with the fishes.

I wish Tolkien had specified whether Balrogs have wings and if so can they use them?

 

[Zantos]

Granted, it is now confirmed they they have wings that can be used in confined spaces very easily, meaning that events in the Fellowship are canonically inaccurate. As a result, the books are now being written by Stephanie Meyer and the new films of those books will be directed by Michael Bay once he has finished making a Turtles quadrilogy.

I wish I could afford the things I want.

 

[SamtheDeathclaw]

Granted! You robbed a bank for the money!

Spoiler: Oh wait... Who's that knocking at your door?

]

I wish I had some apple juice. :[

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Granted! You get it from the blokes from American Pie. Enjoy.

I wish Michael Bay would stop making movies?

 

[Zantos]

Granted, instead he uses the money from Transformers to build a new robotic super-Bay to take over from him until the end of time

I wish people would reply to their e-mails

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted you will now get follow up spam messages.

I wish weathermen would stop being wacky.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted! He know is suffering from depression since his wacky weather cast distracted his son from driving, crashing into an 18 wheeler carrying kittens, orphans, and vials filled with Uranium! Now everything he ever loved is either dead or has cancer!

I wish I could of made that granting of the wish shorter.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted he simply died.

I wish for more music.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish these songs were out of my head. >_<

 

[The Rookie Gamer]

Granted, a guillotine should do the trick.

I wish for the perfect bed.

 

[username sucks]

Granted.

I wish for burritos.

 

[Basement Cat]

Spoiler: Granted

They give you food poisoning.

I wish for my credit card bill and student loans to be paid off.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, but to pay them off, you have to sell yourself and your descendants into eternal bondage.

I wish for a 2013 where games' forums are not savaged by angry vocal minorities that endlessly repeat the same thing.

 

[Zantos]

Granted, in the wake of the Connecticut shooting there is a radical move which results in all video games being banned. As a result, games forums cease to exist, preventing both the vocal minorities and the not-so-vocal majorities posting on them.

I wish I had more space for my stuff.