Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Mullac]

Granted, you are very attractive in the eyes of your mum.

I wish I had a pen.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. It only takes your blood as ink.

I wish for the end of humanity except me.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, you cannot reproduce at all.
I wish for a Bionic Arm.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish the next person will wish that they will die.

 

[Mullac]

Granted, the next person is you, yes that's right, we are the same person...deal with it...

I wish I could teleport.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but you can only teleport 10 feet in any direction.

 

[thesilentman]

Nothing to say about a blank space. As punishment, any wish you ask will always be twisted into, "I want to stop existing."

I wish for lots and lots of love!

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, but it is exclusively given to you awkwardly through a gaming forum * awkwardly flops arms at Silent in a weak attempt at a hug*

I wish for a little somethin' somethin'

 

[thesilentman]

Denied, you didn't specify anything. :-|

I wish to be an adult.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish Mullac and me were not the same person.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted,
Mullac is a living, thriving person. You are dead.

I wish I could focus in class

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, but all your teachers no longer can....

I wish my essays weren't so difficult.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but you have to write a 10,000 word essay without typing.
I wish that I have all the badges on this site.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, but the site closes down thanks to your stupidity.

I wish I could be patient.

 

[Dead Seerius]

Granted, but nothing is worth the wait.

I wish country music would cease to exist.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but hip hop and rap soar to record highs in fans and money taken in.
I wish that garden gnomes could walk.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but now they've taken all your stuff.

I wish for more Epic Rap Battles of history.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, just that it's all by artists you probably can't stand, like Justin Beiber.

I wish for insomnia.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but after 10 years of the insomnia, you die.
I wish for more genies.

 

[Mullac]

Granted, but with that genius comes the ever-knowing truth that there is no point in life, which eventually leads to your suicide.

I wish I had a third hand.