Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Kae]

You are now permanently deaf.

I wish to breathe underwater.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. Good luck living as a tuna.

I wish for the best birthday party eva!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it's so good that every year after becomes more and more unfulfilling and hollow.

I wish Music had a bigger effect on the world.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. All the trolls are invited to ruin the birthday party as the party isn't for you.

I wish for cake, lots of it!

 

[NoOne852]

(Ninja'd I see. I guess I will just grant both wishes)
@Dr.Susse Granted. Music takes place of religon and many bloody wars are fought because of it.

@thesilentman Granted. Everything you taste from now on will taste like cake and nothing else.

I wish to control time!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted here's a watch.
You can set it to what ever time you need.

I wish I could change my username again.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Now enjoy being locked out of the Escapist.

I wish I could stave off insomnia.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish for less wishes.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. You now have a lazy cat named Captcha.

I wish for a pony!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it is animated and trapped in an endless gif on your phone.

I wish for good food and fun times.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. BUT NONE OF IT IS FOR YOU!

I wish for better drawing skills.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. Your drawings come to life and murder everyone that you care about then enslave you to make more drawings.

I wish for a refreshing glass of iced tea.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted the shop was closed so here's a cup of tea with cold water.

I wish for a milk crate.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted!

I wish I had Brain Bleach.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's applied the same way as you picture....

Seriously whoa!

I wish for the end to suffering.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Hope you like the Brave New World!

I wish for less politicians.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. Anarchy reigns.

I wish for a few clones to do multiple things at once.

 

[Euryalus]

Granted, but they'll murder you in your sleep for giving them life just as a means to cheap labor.

I wish to wish on eyelashes

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Enjoy your next 37000 lives as eyelashes!

I wish to work more.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. Enjoy your stay in one of Hitler's concentration camps!

I wish I had a time machine...There's something I need to take care of...

Spoiler