Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[thesilentman]

Granted, whatever you invisible wish is. Oh sorry, I'm mistaken. Whatever you wished for is now given to someone else with full immunity from any disasters whatsoever. Including lack of logic.

I wish to hack into Congress for the lulz. Wait, someone else took that role. I instead wish to be a grand master in chess.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted you are now the worlds leading expert on the musical Chess.

I wish music was better these days.

 

[Fractral]

Granted, because it already is, as far as the current generation is concerned.

I wish for big muscles.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, but in order to maintain them you must constantly abuse steroids and now don't have the time for anything but exercise. The steroids also make you impotent.

I wish for a quick death.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted! On the universal time scale, 3 million years in agony is just a blink of an eye!

I wish for

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, but not to you. Articulate properly next time.

I wish for free Internet on my phone!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but your battery life now only lasts for 2 minutes.

I wish for PM's.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Enjoy the spambots.

I wish that I could end the world.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but you become so in love with the world that you never use this ability.

I wish for a Latin dance party.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. You are sent back in time to said party and you can never return.

I wish for a clean bill of health!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted the bill is for Three thousand dollars.

I wish people where less whiny.

 

[thesilentman]

Now you're the whiny one.

I wish for more genius people.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted, but in order to balance the offset, there are no more "inbetween" levels of knowledge. You are either a genius or incredibly dense.

I wish for the ability to switch between realities of real life and video games.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted! Have fun! :D

You only wanted to do that once right?

I wish for kittens. ^.^

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted.
Here's a bowl of kitten chow mein.

I wish it would stop raining.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted

I wish for puppies, living puppies! The cute and fuzzy kind! ^.^

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. All your friends and family members are now puppies living in your house.

I wish for pie.

 

[Sir Pootis]

Granted, but your request was so generic you commit suicide from the guilt.

I wish for EA to no be the worst thing ever.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. They buy out all of the developers that you like and disband them by force.

I wish to yell at Valve.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but all it does is hurt their feelings and makes them push Half-life 3 back further and there are some pretty pissed fanboys wanting meet you.

I wish for a quiet day.